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^ THE 

PATH ER'S BOOK; 



SUGGESTIONS FOR THE GOVERNMENT AND 
INSTRUCTION 



YOUNG CHILDREN, 



ON PRINCIPLES APPROPRIATE TO 



A CHRISTIAN COUNTRY. 



n 



BY THEODORE D WIGHT, JR. 



G. AND C. MERRIAM. 

Leavitt, Lord & Co., New York : Crocker & Brewster, Boston. 

1834. 






Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1834, 

By G. & C. Merriam, 
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 



/ ^/^^ 



DEDICATION. 



TO THOSE 

ON WHOSE 



PATRIOTISM, INTELLIGENCE, SOUND JUDGMENT, AND 
CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLE, 

THE 

PERPETUITY OF OUR INSTITUTIONS, 

CIVTL, SOCIAL, AND RELIGIOUS, 
AND THE 

HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY 

OF OUR 

BELOVED COUNTRY, 

so ESSENTIALLY DEPEND ;— 
TO 

AMERICAN FATHERS, 

IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED. 



PREFACE. 

It is the object of this volume to suggest to 
the father of a family, principles and methods 
for the instruction of children, in intellectual, 
moral and religious truths, and for training them 
up to usefulness and happiness here and here- 
after. 

It would be difficult, in so small a work, to 
say all that might be usefully said, on govern- 
ment or intellectual instruction alone ; but when 
moral and religious training are to be added, 
it cannot be expected that every point should 
be considered at large. The author has there- 
fore chiefly insisted on such views as he thinks 
most need to be impressed upon the minds of 
fathers of the present day. Fashion has a 
greater influence on the education of the young 
than most parents suppose ; and as many pre- 
vailing doctrines and practices are lamentably 
wrong, the father must not be surprised if he 
should be called upon, in the following pages, to 
pursue a course opposite to that adopted by 
many persons around him. 



11 PREFACE. 

It will be perceived that this volume incul- 
cates the great value of a good domestic edu- 
cation ; and I trust that such suggestions as will 
be here found on this subject, together with 
those reflections which the reader will make, 
may impress upon his mind the high importance 
of a father's duties towards his children. The 
author has seen reason to rate them very highly, 
in the course of his intercourse with different 
ages and classes of society. He has seen men 
who had enjoyed the advantages of good exam- 
ples and instruction at home, overcoming obsta- 
cles of almost every kind, and acquiring know- 
ledge and influence of great value to themselves 
and others. On the other hand, many cases 
might be mentioned, where the instructors of 
our best literary institutions have struggled 
in vain against the evil principles and habits 
which neglected or ill guided young men have 
brought with them from their parental roof, and 
which have proved predominant through their 
lives. 

Among the influences of home, those exerted 
by the example of parents are frequently alluded 
to in this volume ; as they are important in 
physical and intellectual, as well as in moral and 
religious matters. The father is advised to 
form useful habits in his children, both of action, 



PREFACE. HI 

thought, feeling and speaking ; as the practice 
of our habits in one form and another, consti^ 
stutes almost the^whole of our lives ; and the 
object of education is to affect our lives in the 
best possible manner. 

Although so large a share of the care of 
children devolves upon the mother, let the 
father be careful not to underrate his own duties 
or influence. There are few who do all they 
might for the physical, intellectual, moral and 
religious education of their children ; and when 
the importance of their own proper task is con- 
sidered, and the improper influences by which 
they are too often induced to neglect it, they 
must acknowledge it is their duty to make new 
exertions in behalf of their children. 

On whatever topics we may write with the 
hope of benefiting society, we must confess that 
a large share of all the good the philanthropist 
would aim at may be secured by him who shall 
induce parents to entertain just views of their 
duty towards their children, and to pursue such 
methods in training them as shall most tend to 
make them wise and good, intelligent members 
of society, and faithful servants of God. The 
advantages afforded to most parents by society 
in America, receive, as they merit, particular 
attention in this book ; and it is hoped that the 



IV PREFACE. 

modes here pointed out, by which the good fa- 
ther may avail himself of the varied social ma- 
chinery around us, w^ill induce him to regard 
this interesting subject as it deserves. 

Those who may view in a different light from 
the author, the duty of making many sacrifices 
for the good of our children, and who may 
think that this book recommends unnecessary 
deviations from some of the opinions and prac- 
tices current in society, will perhaps still find 
useful suggestions in different chapters, by 
which they and their children may be benefited. 

Before any father closes this book and dis- 
misses the subject, with the thought that he has 
no time to attend to the education of his chil- 
dren, let him consider these few concluding 
lines. A half hour stolen from his morning 
sleep may accomplish vast things in a year ; and 
the author has endeavored particularly to show, 
in some of the succeeding pages, in what man- 
ner short moments of leisure, and even the time 
occupied at meals, may be made useful in edu- 
cation, with both enjoyment and benefit to the 
parent as well as the child. 

JSTeiv York, June 2, 1834. 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER I. 

Page. 
THE YOUNG FATHER. Ignorance of the principles of a good educa- 
tion often arises from neglect of those who have experience, and might 
teach — What is your system of education ? — Questions. - - - 9 

CHAPTER II. 

PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. Our opportunities for adopting the 
best principles in Education— General indifference— Ideas to be em- 
braced—False principles to be rejected— Domestio arrangements to be 
made for the benefit of our children— Planning and building a house- 
Furniture — The influence of good taste in these points and in dress 
—Questions for a Father. ^'i 

CHAPTER III. 
YOUNG CHILDREN. Treatment of young infants— Reflections and 
studies appropriate to the father during the early infancy of his child- 
Crying — Improper excitement — How to counteract fretfulness and pas- 
sion in young infants— First step in discipline— Signifying desires by 
kisses — Anecdote — Early language — Importance of the means of ex- 
pression to the mind— Signs— Anecdote. .... - 27 

CHAPTER IV. 
THE HEALTH OF CHILDREN. Some knowledge of the human system 
desirable, and a few medicines — A good system of food, exercise, early 
rising, &c. best — Diet— Various exercises appropriate to the health of 
body and mind. 37 

CHAPTER V. 

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. At what age is it to be commenced?— 
How is it to be conveyed ?— Force of example— Anecdotes to prove early 
rehgious instruction possible— Reasons for undertaking it. - . - 44 

CHAPTER VI. 

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION— co«fo"«Med. The importance and interest 
of human physiology, or the knowledge of our own frames — The science 
of the soul superior to every branch of natural history, &c. — The dawning 
of intellect— The first appearance of the affections— The acquisition of 
ideas— Errors of opinion concerning the time to commence religious in- 
struction — A plan recommended for early teaching the fundamental 
principles of the Christian religion— Parents responsible for the religious 
doctrines they inculcate, 55 



VI CONTENTS. 

Page. 
CHAPTER VII. 

A FAMILY ON THE SABBATH, The father's morning interview with 
his son— Their prayer, and study of the Scriptures— Principles in re- 
ligious instruction— Sunday occupations for children — School— Church. 6S 

CHAPTER VIII. 
PLAYTHINGS, SPORTS, AMUSEMENTS AND EXERCISE, They 
should be connected with something useful, as far as possible— Exciting 
games to be avoided — Kites, connected with useful principles — Games of 
chance to be shunned — Small mechanical and agricultural tools for 
children — The care of domestic animals and fowls — Humane feeling thus 
to be fostered — A knowledge of natural history, drawing, &c. to be sub- 
stituted for cruel field sports — Walking— Riding on horseback— Health 
injured by injudicious treatment at school, 87 

CHAPTER IX. 

AMUSEMENTS— co/z/mwetZ. Witnessing "useful labor— Learning useful 
arts— Instrumental music— Story of a boy who visited a fife-maker— 
Manual labor. 96 

CHAPTER X 

FAMILY GOVERNMENT, The knowledge possessed by children- 
Allowance to be made for their ignorance of language, irritability, &c.— 
Corporeal punishments— Punishments in general— Regular hours and 
habits— Dangers of young men— Precautions, 108 

CHAPTER XI. 

INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. Education begins early— Impor- 
tance of domestic education, and our facilities for exercising it, especially 
in the middle and most sensible ranks of society— The father's instructions 
in conversation at table— The wonders of water— Other subjects, - - 120 

CHAPTER XIL 

INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION— con^znwecZ, Conversation in gene- 
ral — Points to be guarded against in conversation — Books in a family 
library— Impure and frivolous works to be excluded— Fiction— Great 
objects of instruction — The father may write for the instruction of his 
children — Learning good prose and poetry by rote — Domestic instruction 
in geography, natural history, arts, common life, &c. — Children's com- 
positions, journals, &c. 132 

CHAPTER XIII. 
SOCIETY, AND ITS INFLUENCE ON EDUCATION, Advantages 
offered by the state of society in our own country— Public celebrations- 
Training days— Exhibitions of children— Celebrations appropriate to an 
intelligent, virtuous and Christian people— Duty of fathers in fostering 
literary societies— Safeguards against intemperance and crime— The 
neighborhood— How to be regarded—Habits of loving neighbors— Petty 
jealousies— Social intercourse— Influence of Sabbath Schools, religious 
and charitable associations, on families, - - - • - - - 145 



CONTENTS. Vll 

Page. 
CHAPTER XIV. 

MUSIC, POLITENESS, PUNCTUALITY, &c. The cultivation of music 
in tlie family — Vocal music — Its importance as a means of discipline and 
instruction, as well as a source of enjoyment — Nature prompts to the cul- 
tivation of vocal music— Almost every child capable of learning to sing — 
The musical machinery of the throat — Singing schools useful, and 
vforthy of patronage — Musical instruments for children— False views of ■ 
politeness— Good Manners — Practical training — Systematic beneficence — 
Example— Instances to illustrate. 157 

CHAPTER XV. 

VARIOUS TOPICS. System— Honesty— Punctuality in paying debts- 
Independence— Illustration— Caution to wealthy parents— Book-keeping 
— Public offices — Servants— Terrifying children. - - - - - 171 

CHAPTER XVI. 

SCHOOLS. Their importance to the peace and good order of the neigh- 
borhood and society— Sending children to public schools — A father's duty 
towards them — General principles to be observed in establishing and 
conducting schools— Branches to be taught, and principles of teaching- 
Ornamental branches— Modes of government and instruction— Means of 
exciting interest in schools— Lyceums— Conclusion. - - - - 186 



THE FATHER'S BOOK. 



CHAPTER I. 

THE YOUNG FJCTHER. 

The young father — Ignorance of the principles of a good education 
often arises from not consulting those who have experience, and 
might teach — What is your system of education ? — Questions. 

How interesting it is to an experienced father, to 
see a young man just entered upon the duties of that 
relation, if his character be such as to encourage 
hopes of his faithful devotion to them ! He can not 
only sympathize with him in the joy with which he 
receives into his arms the first-born child which his 
Maker has committed to his care, and the tender 
and sublime sentiments which mingle at that peculiar 
moment of his life ; but he can foresee something of 
the course of instruction which begins from this 
period, and reahze the beneficial though laborious 
and self-denying task on Avhich he is entering. 

An experienced parent, looking upon a young 
father, is reminded of the more tender tie which now 
binds him to the wife of his bosom, and contemplates, 
with reflections of his own, the sphere of warm af- 
fections in which the tender babe is to be nurtured. 
He recollects, however, with regret and solicitude, how 
often all this love has been unavailing, and failed to 
9. 



10 THE father's book. 

secure its objects from evils of various kinds, and 
looks forward with doubt and fear of the issue of that 
training" which this infant shall receive from these 
hands. And similar feelings are often awakened by 
the sight of children at different ages and under 
various circumstances. Ind.eed, a parent who has 
ever faithfully attended to the important subject of 
education, can hardly banish from his mind, for a 
single day, or even an hour, at any subsequent period 
of his life, reflections on its difficulties, and the evil 
consequences of negligence or failure. 

On6 reason why the evil consequences of bad edu- 
cation are so often to be lamented, is, that those who 
have to practise the duties of parents, receive little 
instruction from those who might give it. Every 
generation, and every parent, is left too much alone 
to learn this most important science. Of course each 
must begin at the first principles, and grope unassisted 
and unenlightened over the ground where so many 
have strayed and fallen, because they too were 
unaided. It has often happened that parents have 
supposed themselves to have arrived at great disco- 
veries in the plan or method of governing or treating 
children, when they have ascertained that some 
person, who might have communicated the same, 
and more, in a few words, had practised it long before. 

We avail ourselves of the experience of others, in 
every other department of human knowledge ; why 
should we not do so in that of domestic education, 
and in the important and responsible work of giving 
a right direction to the opening minds of the young 
immortals, committed to our trust 1 



THE YOUNG FATHER. 11 

The science and practice of education become to 
parents matters of. prime necessity. Next to the 
bread, clothing, and warmth, necessary to the life 
and health of their offspring, the way of teaching 
and governing them is imperatively important.^ — 
Thousands and millions of parents are attempting 
the task every 5^ear, in different countries and under 
different circumstances, on different principles and 
with different success. Children are rendered, by 
different systems, Hottentots, Brahmins, European 
princes, and citizens of America, with all the traits 
respectively belonging to their various situations. 
To us it is of vast importance to learn how we may 
best train up our children to occupy the spheres 
in which we may place them, in the best manner. 
The world is not without books on the subject of 
education : we know how the Spartan mothers made 
their children Lacedemonians, and how Bonaparte 
trained the youth of France to fight for himself: but 
what book is to be found which points out briefly and 
intelligibly to a Christian father in the United States, 
the way in which he can instil into his child the know- 
ledge, the sentiments, and the habits, which shall 
render him, in a republican country, an useful citi- 
zen — in an intelligent community like ours, imbued 
with that knowledge, and that alone, which it shall 
be best for him to possess, — -and under the govern- 
ment of a great and holy God, a faithful, happy, and 
acceptable servant 1 

Some parents in our country have succeeded in 
producing a portion of these results ; a few have been 
blessed with success in all : and as we have only to 



12 

inquire, to observe, and to reflect, to arrive at some 
great and ruling principles in education, it will not be 
thought presumptuous, if an attempt be made in 
the succeeding pages, to lay some of them before such 
fathers as may consult this volume for suggestions 
useful in the task they have to perform. 

To the newly married man I would remark as a 
friend, that he is interested in making his house, from 
the beginning, the abode of harmony, intelligence 
and refinement. These are all necessary to his 
happiness, and have much to do with his usefulness 
and respectability in life. They aie also the natural 
results of virtue, and the evidences of a good education 
received, as well as pledges that a good one will be 
conferred on such as are trained beneath that roof. 
Much relating to manners, demeanor, conversation, 
&c. may often be learnt by the husband and wife 
from each other ; and whatever may have been their 
circumstances before marriage, it is generally the case 
that each comes with some habits or opinions worthy 
of adoption, as well as with those which may be 
advantageously exchanged for others. With proper 
views and feelings, the young family may be soon 
regulated according to the best principles which have 
prevailed in both those from which the pair have 
proceeded. 'A spirit of mutual concession cannot be 
too early adopted by the husband and wife, and much 
is already effected when this has been decided on. 

But beside this, it may be suggested to the young 
and affectionate husband, that he has now a new 
motive to urge him to the improvement of his 
character ; — the happiness of her who has generously 



THE YOUNG FATHER. 13 

confided her prospects to his hands. His respecta- 
biUty and usefulness in life also demand that he 
should examine into himself, ascertain his faults and 
failings, and begin at once the task of daily correcting 
them. The better he governs "himself, the more 
easy it will be to exercise a proper control at home, 
and an useful influence abroad ; to conciliate the 
respect and acquire the confidence of others, both, of 
which are necessary to his success in any business in 
which he may engage. 

One very important form of self-government, is 
that which enables us to moderate our desires and 
expectations in relation to wealth and show. Many a 
family has been ruined by the Avant of this virtue in 
the father ; and many more have been, and no doubt 
now are, suffering in various other ways from the 
same cause. It is every thing to the prosperity and 
peace, the usefulness, and often the respectability of a 
family, whether they live within or beyond their 
income. If within it, time is their friend ; if not, he 
is their enemy, for he will be heaping up a load of 
debt, yearly, monthly and daily. 

No family was ever well conducted without religion. 
If you have never thought seriously of it, reflect now, 
when you are beginning to act on a wider scale than 
ever before ; and determine to introduce family 
prayers night and morning. Let not the first day 
pass without praying with' your family ; if you feel 
any unwilhngness now, you will feel twice as much 
hereafter. — Begin now, or ten chances to one you 
never will. You may feel a little backwardness ; .but 
when once the habit is formed, you will feel as 
2* 



14 THE father's book. 

backward at the neglect of it. That diffidence — 1| 
what is it 1 where will it be to-morrow ] 

[ could wish that the youthful fathers into whose 
hands this book may fall, should be in the possession 
of every advantage for the immediate and full ap- 
plication of the highest principles it is prepared to 
suggest for the education of their children. And 
perhaps the easiest Avay in which any one may satisfy 
himself how things actually are situated around him,; 
is to recal the feelings of childhood, and suppose 
himself introduced into the family. Would he find 
himself received at the door with those kind words 
and looks of welcome which ingratiate the favor of 
children, and predispose them to receive every 
good influence 1 Or might the harshness, morose- 
ness, or expression of indifference, habitual in too 
many families, check his feelings or wound his sense 
of propriety ] Would he find the fireside and the 
family board the sphere of harmony, cheerfulness, 
affection, intelligence, taste and piety 1 If so, he 
would perceive the evidences of their presence and 
their prevaihng influences, not merely in words, but 
in tones, looks, and actions appropriate. The topics 
of conversation, the manner of treating them, the 
objects for which the names of neighbors, friends and 
strangers, were mentioned, would all show in some 
degree the motives of the speakers, and disclose the 
standard of the parents' taste, discipline and charac- 
ter, be it high or low. The order of the household, 
the size of the apartments, the nature and arrange^ 
ment of the furniture, may all convey even to the mind 
of a child some correct ideas of the relative estimate 



THE YOUNG FATHEE. 



15 



in which the master and mistress hold things of real 
vakie, and those of trifling importance. If the parents, 
insteadof indulging in selfish, narrow feelings, towards 
those who are supposed : to be above or below them, 
show that their views are friendly, enlarged and 
intelligent, every one present will share in the know- 
ledge they collect from day to day, and sympathize 
in their feelings. 

In a well regulated family, where the best princi- 
ples of government are adopted, and the wisest 
means employed for promoting the physical, moral, 
and intellectual culture of the children ; and, as a 
consequence, good order, kind feeling, and happiness 
prevail ; — it will usually be found that the parents 
have had in mind some family in which they have 
witnessed the same happy effects resulting from a 
similar course. Perhaps that family was the much 
loved home of their own childhood. 

As the good farmer and merchant make occasional 
examinations into the general state of their business, 
that they may correct any error and remedy any 
defect before it be too late, so should the parent 
sometimes honestly examine his feelings and his 
system of education, by questions like the following. — 
To a young father, who has opportunity to ask him- 
self such of these questions as apply to his own case, 
the process will be of a most interesting nature. 

For what object was this child given me 1 

What is it capable of becoming ] 

Why have many children been less good, and wise, 
and happy, than they might have been ? 



16 THE father's book. 

Might I have been wiser or better if I had beer, 
differently educated 1 

What should be the character and conduct of a 
father, if he would have his child well educated] [in 
wisdom, temper, language, habits, religion — towards 
his children, wife, friends, neighbors, strangers, the 
institutions of society, and his Creator ?] 

In what am I most deficient 1 

What must be the influence of such defects on my 
child? 

How may they be corrected ? 

Why do I not better understand my duties to my 
family ? 

How can I best learn them 1 

Are the interests of my children of sufficient con- 
sequence to justify or to demand great sacrifices on 
my part 1 

What should be the principal objects to be aimed at 
in domestic arrangements 1 

What in my business ; and ought it so to engross 
me as to make me a stranger to my children ? 

How may society be rendered useful in aiding the 
father in the education of his children? 



CHAPTER II. 



PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. 

Our opportunities for adopting the best principles in Education — 
General indifference — Ideas to be embraced — False principles tO 
be rejected — Domestic arrangements to be made for the benefit of 
our children — Planning and building a house — Furniture — The 
influence of good taste in these points and in dress — Gluestions 
for a Father. 

There is no reason why we should not enter upon 
the education of our children on the best possible 
principles practised or known in the world. Our 
circumstances in a country so distinguished by many 
blessings, have not been so distinctly regarded as 
they deserve, in relation to the advantages they offer 
us in the prosecution of this interesting task ; nor 
have the public^ or even good men in general, been 
duly impressed with the duties they owe to their 
neighborhood and the nation, in laboring to mul- 
tiply and increase those advantages. 

A state of war throws many impediments in the 
way of education ; and still more unfavorable to it 
is the open prevalence of disorder, lawlessness and 
gross immorality in the community around us. In va- 
rious ways also the division of society into distinct 
ranks, is unfavorable to the training of children ; as 
well as general ignorance, poverty, superstitions, &C.5 
from all which we are nearly if not wholly free. 



18 

We have peace, intelligence, and prosperity around 
us, with republican institutions. Christian ordinances, 
and all the operations of an active, moral, intelligent 
and growing people. The means necessary for the 
comfort of our families and the instruction of our 
children, how abundantly are they within our reach; 
and if we were but wise and faithful, in under- 
standing and availing ourselves of those most ap- 
phcable to our wants, what results might we not see ! 

It is unfortunate that many persons^ not engaged 
in training children, feel indifferent to the great sub- 
ject. All are interested in the prevalence of the best 
system of education. Our country cannot long be 
safe without it. And, of all branches of education, 
that in the family is the most important, because 
the most influential on individuals and society. A 
distinguished Mexican, Mr. Pedraza, late President of 
the United Mexican States, once remarked with great 
truth, that if our families were such as they should 
be, we should need no schools. So indispensable to 
the happiness and security of our country is family 
education, that he who may ■ devise the best system 
for conducting it, will be more worthy of a splendid 
reward from the nation, than the inventor of any 
process for separating gold from ore, or, if it were pos- 
sible, for converting stones into precious gems. Any 
country is poor and miserable, which calls not its 
children its jewels. 

And if every person in the country has a real in- 
terest in the state of family education, how deeply . 
ought a good father to feel himself concerned for hia 
own children ! He will not consider any labor too 



PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. 19 

great that may enable him to understand the task 
he has to perform. He will consider such reflection, 
reading and perseverance, as may be needed, but 
light, when compared with the mortification, the 
disgrace, and the self-reproach, which result from a 
vicious or neglected education. He will be attentive 
in time to such -suggestions as are calculated to save 
him from any fatal error, in laying his plans or pros- 
ecuting them. Let him then exercise his reason in 
determining on the true principles, and fairly weigh 
such opinions, and reflect on such examples, as are 
presented to him. Let him neither reject the results 
of other men's experience, nor adopt their views with- 
out understanding what they are founded upon. 

In choosing a system of education, we ought to 
resolve, 

1. That its principles shall be the highest. 

2. That they shall be conveyed in the best, that is, in 
the true manner, by example more than by precept, 
and by the influence of every circumstance which we 
can properly call to our aid. 

3. That the standard shall be the word of God, 
reason and conscience. 

And, on the other hand, we must, from the com- 
mencement, reject those great errors under which 
so many children are educated. 

1. That children are incapable of learning any 
thing useful at five, three, two years, or even twelve 
or eight months. 

2. That great and solemn subjects necessarily lose 
their importance or seriousness in the view of children 
by frequent or familiar contemplation. 



20 THE father's book. 

3. That children are blameworthy whenever they 
do not act, speak or feel, as would be becoming in their 
elders. Their nature renders them restless and 
changeable ; and their ignorance of language and 
the rules of society, often lead them to say and do, 
innocently, what would be improper or even wrong in 
their parents. 

4. That there is but one particular way in which 
knowledge, morals or religion, can be taught them ; 
and that useful instruction and good deeds may not 
be mingled with their childish employments. 

5. That their minds never spontaneously seek for 
improvement. 

But there are other subjects to which the father 
should pay serious attention, and on which it is of vast 
practical importance that he should early adopt not 
merely sound opinions, but sound habits. 

The various external circumstances of our situa- 
tion exert an important influence in aiding or coun- 
teracting, our plans for the domestic education of our 
children. Now it often happens, that a great many of 
these circumstances are not under our control. So far, 
however, as we can control them, it will be the part 
of wisdom for us to consider, how will the happiness 
of my family be affected 1 and what influence will 
this or that have upon the formation of the characters 
of my children ? — rather than to inquire, whether w^e 
shall be able to make a greater or less show in the 
eyes of our neighbors. 

In choosing a residence, and particularly in building 
a house for our own use, we should have the comfort 
and education of our children prominently before us. It 



PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. 21 

may be too large, for our income, our convenience, or 
our character. Improvidence and ambition have 
built many a palace for disappointment and misery to 
pine in. Many a father may date the decline of his 
prosperity from the period of his occupying a large 
house, v^here additional furniture, a higher style of 
living, and of course increased expenses, have turned 
the current against him. And when fatal or pro- 
longed pecuniary difficulties assail a father who bows 
not in humility to avoid them, what a flood-gate of 
adversity is opened upon his family ! The aspiring 
head of ambition is often the first mark for the bolt 
of ruin. Some families nobly arise from an overthrow, 
and dignify mediocrity, and even poverty, by cheer- 
fully submitting to them. But how much safer to 
the character, as well as to the property, it is, never 
to incur the hazard of such misfortunes as moderation 
may avoid ! 

Gay visitors may admire spacious rooms and lofty 
staircases ; but those who have to traverse them find 
both care and labor unnecessarily increased. An 
intelligent, virtuous and harmonious family, desire 
not to be . separated by very wide space ; and it is 
insulting to the heart as well as the understanding, 
of a friend, to usher him into a house where intellect 
and feeling are shrivelled in proportion to the unusual 
extension of the halls and apartments. And thus it 
is that the ambitious, on entering magnificent 
habitations, often expose themselves to ridicule, by 
rendering their personal defects more conspicuous. 
A gentleman, after listening impatiently to a descrip- 
tion of a splendid mansion erected by a man of no 
3 



22 

taste or refinement, very naturally inquired — " Well, 
does he know how to live in it ]" 

To be guided by right motives and sound judgment 
in building a house, often requires independence of 
mind. A man may be tempted to outstrip a neighbor 
in building one larger than he needs. But if there 
be any danger of thus commencing a course of vain 
rivalry with him or his family, he had better restrain 
himself at the outset, even if his fortune should not 
require it. Let him build a smaller or a less splendid 
habitation. Scarcely any thing is more unfortunate 
in its influence on children, than a course of rivalry 
between families ; yet how often is hfe in a great 
measure occupied with it ! 

Convenience and good taste should be consulted 
in planning a house. A surplus of ornaments is 
displeasing to good taste, and those who display them 
or value them, show their ignorance and want of it. 
Simplicity is necessary to real beauty in architecture 
and furniture, as well as in other things. The rules 
of taste are to a great extent founded on common 
sense ; and when any doubt is raised, that must de- 
cide. It would be ridiculous to make a door like a 
window, three feet from the floor, or to place a hearth 
stone up on end, even if travellers should assure us 
that such fashions prevailed in this or that foreign 
country. Yet things not less preposterous we often 
see around us, supported on one pretext and another, 
which common sense, if allowed to speak freely in 
any man's mind, would equally condemn. Whoever 
lays an axe at the root of a venerable tree, to prevent 
it from hiding his house from expected admirers ; 



PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. 23 

whoever makes a habitation vastly too large for his 

wants or too high, for his convenience, or shows more 

desire to have it splendid than useful, violates some 

of the principles of taste. Observing people will see 

something of the character of persons displayed in 

the house they have planned or chosen. Though 

such persons do not always speak their thoughts, 

they frequently see something in the arrangements, 

the comparative importance given to ornament and 

convenience, from which to judge whether the minds 

and feelings of the inhabitants be well or ill balanced, 

and what prospects the children have of being well 

educated. A frivolous mind is displayed in over 

estimating trifles ; and a parent who can prefer the 

entertainment of gay visiters to the comfort of his 

family, or the display of finery to the possession of 

what is useful, will hardly fail to overlook and neglect 

those fundamental rules in the management of his 

house on which depend the improvement and the real 

happiness of rational beings. 

In the selection of furniture, let the same principles 
of good sense and taste be regarded. A good and 
well-planned house may be half spoiled by ill chosen 
furniture. The eyes of children may be dazzled with 
superficial splendors wherever they turn ; they may 
imbibe false estimates of things from famiharity with 
objects made for show which should have been made 
for use ; and will be prepared to go into the world, in 
their turn, with the same perverted views which their 
parents have displayed to them. One great evil 
connected with the cultivation of a false taste in furni- 
ture and architecture, as in every thing else, is that the 



24 

principle, when extended to other things, is not only 
unreasonable or ridiculous, but often dangerous, and 
even ruinous to important interests. But the greatest 
evil, and that which the parent should most carefully 
guard against, is, that wrong and extravagant views 
cannot be indulged without turning us away from 
some great duty, and at the same time that it depre- 
ciates its importance in our eyes. 

If the father would have his daily duties clear to 
his mind, and easy of performance, let the whole plan 
and arrangement of his house be such as to present 
none of those impediments above alluded to, Let 
there be nothing incompatible with good sense, and 
let every thing tend to foster just ideas and feelings in 
his family, 

And here I would say a word on dress, as it is 
another subject of great consequence in the same 
point of view, and because similar principles must be 
applied to it. It is a thing, of necessity constantly 
before our eyes, and the frequent subject of attention ; 
and, unless we are on our guard in establishing ha- 
bits, and are careful not to conform to the frivolous 
taste too generally prevailing, it will probably usurp 
a large share of the thoughts and conversation of our 
family. False taste in dress has this disadvantage over 
that displayed in our dwellings, that it accompanies the 
person wherever he goes, and proclaims in the streets 
and to strangers, not the views or character of some 
other person, or our own some years ago, but what they 
were this morning ; and a glance of an eye, (generally 
a first one,) will convey the idea, either that he is in- 
fected with vanity, pride, indolence, slovenliness, &c» 



PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. 25 

or that, having devoted just sufficient attention to his 
exterior to appear neat, and agreeable, and to avoid 
every thing that may seem inconsistent with himself, 
his mind has since been occupied with things of 
greater importance. 

And after a good father has looked about upon his 
whole domestic empire, and seen things placed on 
such a footing as he should desire, some very inter- 
esting thoughts may occur to his mind. — " Here is 
the place where I am to train my children to wisdom 
and goodness. Here, if life be spared, under my 
hands and under my direction and example, they will 
receive characters which will, in a great degree, ever 
abide with them. If I would have them regard with 
philanthropy the whole human race, and be through 
life the servants of God, I must teach them here to 
know and love their Maker ; they must be trained 
with affection for each other, and taught to look on 
the world with friendly feelings and kind intentions. 
If I would have them prepared to submit to the 
discipline of Providence, or to be obedient to the 
laws of the land, they must be ruled with firmness and 
love by me. If I would have them love viitue and 
knowledge, I must show them that I know and value 
the enjoyments they bestow, and am daily and ar- 
dently progressing in both. I must hold out the 
benefits they confer, as the abundant reward of the 
exertions necessary to obtain them, and lead on in 
both by such steps, and by such means, as are adapt- 
ed to their nature. Here is an arduous task before 
me : but what task is better calculated to improve 
while it gratifies 1 What virtue, what science, may 
3* 



26 THE father's book. 

I not include within such a range ? What useful 
power of my mind, what pure feeling of my heart, 
m.ay not thus be brought into action ? What plea- 
sure and benefit may I not derive from such a study of 
the mind, of the various objects on which it may be 
occupied, and that infinite Being who has created 
them all? 

Am I qualified for such a task ? Am I duly sensi- 
ble of the importance of having my external arrange- 
ments properly made ? Am I ready, with all the 
necessary preparation of mind and affections, to enter 
upon such duties ?" 

There is always a consolation to such as most sen- 
sibly feel their incompetency to perform well the 
duties of education : — the devoted teacher ever 
makes rapid proficiency in the science of instruction ; 
and those who begin with the greatest reliance on 
their own pow^ers, often find themselves among the 
most unsuccessful in the end. 

Those fathers, also, who have few external advan- 
tages for training their children, have often been 
observed to have virtuous, sensible, and useful fami- 
lies. Indeed, a pious, devoted, sensible, intelligent 
father, whatever be his poverty or difliculties in life, 
has every reason to persevere, for the success of 
such means as they use has been proved by thousands 
of cases. While the wealth and splendor of the rich- 
est inhabitants of our cities are frequently dissipated 
in a single generation ; virtue often entails comfort, 
health, respectability and happiness, on the descends i 
ants of the good, whether in the t6wn, the village, j 
or the hamlet. 



CHAPTER III. 



YOUNG CHILDREN. 



Treatment of young infants — Reflections and studies appropriate t& 
the father during the early infancy of his child — Crying — Im- 
proper excitement — How to counteract fretfulness and passion in 
young infants — First step in discipline — Signifying desires by 
kisses — Anecdote — Early language — Importance of the means of 
expression to the mind — Signs — Anecdote. 

All that a parent can do for his child during the 
first few months of its Ufa, is, to promote its health 
and consult its enjoyments within the limited circle 
to which its faculties are confined. With the imme- 
diate care of it, of course the father will have little to 
do ; but it will be both proper and interesting for 
him to know the general rules for the treatment of 
an infant. Warm clothing should envelope it, from 
the soles of the feet to the neck, by night and day, 
graduated according to the surrounding atmosphere, 
but no bandage should strongly compress its tender 
form. Daily washing is necessary to keep the skin 
in a healthy state ; its delicate organs should not be 
pained by strong light, loud or jarring sounds. 

It should be fed and put to sleep when nature re- 
quires it, but as early as possible should be habituated 
to regular periods for both. It will be for the comfort 
both of parents and child if it be put to sleep from the 



28 THE father's book. 

first without rocking or carrying. Habit will recon- 
cile children to many things of this kind. Some 
judicious persons believe that the use of a cradle is 
dangerous to the brain ; and this may be easily be- 
lieved, while we see how violently some nurses rock 
their children when they wish to force them into a 
slumber. It is certainly better to dispense with it 
w^here it can be done with ease. Violent jumping 
and throwing up of children is to be avoided. 

As soon as the infant notices things about it, it. 
should be often gratified with opportunities to look at 
objects of different sizes, forms and colors, particularly 
in gentle motion. The sweet tones of the voices of 
parents, particularly the mother, are a never varying 
source of pleasure, and shoukl be afforded lo the 
child every hour of the day. But on such subjects 
nature teaches so w^ell, as to leave little to be said in 
a book. 

Providence, w^ho has made so many admirable 
arrangements in the establishment of families, seems 
to have allowed the young parent time for reflection 
and preparation between the birth of the child and 
the period when its religious, moral, and intellectual 
education may begin. Its physical education, it is 
to be remembered, begins with its life ; and in the 
days of early infancy the foundation is often laid for 
a miserable life or a premature death, by mismanage- 
ment. Although the father is not the principal 
manager of his babes, yet his forethought and exer- 
tions are necessary, to secure the accommodations 
and the means for their care and nurture. 

It would be well if every father would allow him- 



YOUNG CHILDREN. 29 

self, at least once in his life, while he has his little 
child upon his knee, and feels his heart opened by 
the warm and tender paternal affections which family 
scenes inspire, to reflect, that this little helpless 
being will probably be such an one as himself in 
some important traits of character. His interest in 
the babe certainly might then often remind him of 
his strong inducements to become both wise and 
good. And let this conviction be but firmly fixed in 
the mind, and frequently brought to recollection, 
until to remember it shall be a habit, and it w^ill act 
as a most powerful aid in directing him to the proper 
course to pursue in many difficult cases. It may 
indeed without hesitation be presumed, that such a 
habit, once formed, will often prove a more ready 
and faithful guide to the parent than any earthly 
teacher could become : for who can, in ordinary cir- 
cumstances, be so well acquainted with a case in 
which his child is interested, or have the powers of his 
mind so actively directed to it, as the parent '? 

It has passed into common belief, as an indisputa- 
ble truth, that crying is the language of infancy, 
dictated by nature as a signal of pain and desireso 
This however is not the fact in the sense in which it 
is received, and, unfortunately, frequently acted on. 
X)ries of distress are often the first language which 
the nurse or the parent regards, but uneasiness is usu- 
ally first betrayed to an observant eye by some symp- 
tom of restlessness. Yet we must not always wait for 
even the latter. The parent, certainly the mother, 
should know by observation how often an infant needs 
a change of position, and, as he grows older, a change 



so THE father's BOOK. 

of place, sights, sounds, playthings, &c. To let a 
young child always remain in one position until it 
cries, especially if rattles and other means are resort- 
ed to, to prevent it from crying as long as possible, 
is very improper, and to children of certain disposi- 
tions may be very injurious. 

It is important to the comfort and the character 
of the child, that it be prevented from frequent and 
unnecessary crying. Every observer of children 
must have remarked the striking difference there is 
between those of different families in the frequency 
and the occasions of their crying and screaming, 
and how useless as Avell as intolerable is a bad habit 
of this nature. It requires but little reflection, cer- 
tainly but little observation, to convince one, that a 
habit may be formed on either side, and that a child 
who cries but once, five, or ten times a day, has a great 
advantage in various respects over one which cries fifty. 
For sounds of fretf ulness or anger are not less irritating 
to the subjectthanto the bystander; and the excitement 
produced by sobbing, attempting to speak, and a con- 
sciousness of doing wrong, is superadded, so that the 
nerves are agitated in a manner at once very pain- 
ful and difiicult to be subdued. Frequent repetitions 
produce lasting effects ; and we often find men and 
women carrying with them through life an irritabi- 
lity that may be rationally attributed to early mis- 
management. 

After these remarks, it can hardly be necessary to 
caution a parent against permitting his child to be 
excited by teazing, or being frightened ; and yet 
many well meaning persons seem to think that any 



YOUNG CHILPREN. 31 

excitement of strong feelings is as agreeable to the chil- 
dren who experience them, as to themselves who 
witness them. I would be peremptory with such 
friends, if expostulation would not avail: for I re- 
member sufferings I have gone through for their 
gratification. I believe that the physical effects of 
such excitement are sometimes felt by a child for 
hours. 

It should be the hourly care of the. good mother or 
nurse, to prevent or allay every tendency to unneces- 
sary violent excitement, and to preserve the feelings 
in an uniform and tranquil tone, necessary through- 
out life, to enjoyment, as well as to improvement, 
physical, moral, intellectual and rehgious. Fretful- 
ness will be sometimes found to seize a child without 
any apparent cause ; and then it may generally be 
attributed to some derangement of the health. 
From the age of five or six months, for two years or 
more, infants are usually peculiarly exposed to it 
while teething ; and their sudden starts, screams, and 
fickleness with their toys, must not be of course pre- 
sumed to arise from bad temper. Kind words and 
diversion must then be resofted to. Bathing in 
warm or cold water, is one of the best expedients to 
soothe the feelings, however irritated. Moderate ex- 
citement may often be allayed by merely washing 
the face and harids with a wet sponge. 

I must however caution the parent against attri- 
buting too much to ill health or other accidental caus- 
es of excitement. He must remember that no child 
has ever been known since the earliest period of the 
world, destitute of an evil disposition ; and that his 



32 THE father's book. 

infant, however sweet it may appear, has the same 
propensities within him, and will inevitably betray 
them. Whatever may be the prejudices, or the theo- 
ries, of the father on the subject, if he lays out a plan 
of education on any principles which are not found- 
ed on this presumption, he will find that it will not 
suit the case. If he calculates on leading his child 
to choose the good by only presenting duty to his 
view, he will be most grievously disappointed. If he 
supposes that he has to deal with a being as much in- 
clined to right as to wrong, his whole practice in 
educating it will be full of painful facts to convince 
him of the contrary. History and our personal expe- 
rience show the nature of man ever running one 
way, and our opposite theories will only take our- 
selves and our children more rapidly along with the 
mighty current. 

One simple measure for discipline or govern- 
ment may be early taken, and I have seen it effectu- 
ally and beautifully practised. Train the infant to 
signify its wants by kissing instead of crying. I 
have known a family in which three children have 
been trained to it from about the age of eight months, 
although one of them was peculiarly unwilling to be 
kissed, and long resisted teaching ; it became habitu- 
ated to it by mild and persevering management, and 
practised it with pleasure as long as it remained una- 
ble to express itself otherwise. This plan may be 
objected to by some, on account of a common doc- 
trine above alluded to, viz. that crying is the natu- 
ral language of pain, and the natural means of ex 
pressing wants. But I trust that the objection has 
been already sufficiently answered. 



YOUNG CHILDREN. 33 

Simple as is the plan to substitute kissing for crying, 
interesting as it is, and Useful in practically training 
the child so early to subdue its feelings, it seems 
strange that it should not have been more generally 
practised. But few have ever thought of such a 
thing, and some of those to whom it has been pro- 
posed, have pronounced it impracticable, and thus 
saved themselves the present task of trying it. ' Ex- 
perience however has shown that it is practicable, 
and reflection will prove that the principle is an 
excellent one. The labor of forming this habit is 
also well paid for, by the clear insight it gives the 
parent into some of the capacities of an infant. It 
has probably been allowed to cry for what it wants ; 
and of course a habit is already formed, which is 
strong in proportion to the extent of its indulgence. 
If you pay no heed to its cries, but after bring- 
ing its lips to your own, yield to its desires, and 
persevere in this treatment, you will perceive that he 
begins to be affected by the experience he thus 
receives. Like a traveller entering a foreign country, 
he uses the tongue and the coin which will procure 
what he desires. He deals no longer, or far less, in 
screams and cries, and calls his kisses into requisition. 

The same practice should be extended. If a young 
child wants what another has, or to play with its 
brother, make him present his request in the form of 
a kiss. I have known an infant of ten months, which, 
having been taught those lessons, kiss-ed for every 
thing it desired. Even in a dark night, when it 
wished its parents to repeat a story or a song, or to 
accept a proposition to be fed, to change its position, 
4 



34 THE father's book. 

&c. a kiss was the sign. In the day-time also, it was 
the sweet expression of petition ; and being some- 
times accompanied by a motion of the hand or a turn 
of the eye, rarely left any doubt of its object. I 
once witnessed the affecting sight of a little girl of 
eight months, who was constantly desirous of changing 
hands on account of the restlessness attendant on 
recovery from sickness, silently expressing that wish 
in the same manner. 

The language of childhood is proverbially interest- 
ing ; and the more deeply we study it, the more 
substantial ground do we find to be pleased with if, 
on philosophical principles. The sweet tones, and 
pretty imperfections of utterance, are not the chief 
attractions to a reflecting observer : they betray the 
state and faculties of the mind, and the nature of the 
affections, in active operation, and without disguise ; 
and by the proper study of these we may learn much 
of the character and capacities of man, and the modes 
and means of improving them. Studying the minds 
of children, is like watching the operations of bees 
in a glass hive ; and should be pursued without delay, 
for like those busy insects they soon begin to avoid 
observation, and draw a veil over their operations. 

I would wish parents and teachers to realize one 
important truth in respect to this subject : viz. that 
the mind of a child is greatly in advance of its tongue. 
This is shown to some extent by its learning the 
meaning of many words long before it can speak 
them. It is further proved by its capacity for using 
the language of signs at a still earher age. The 
infant has power over its hands and fingers long before 



YOUNG CHILDREN. 35 

it can perform the delicate movements of the organs 
of speech, necessary to form simple words. This is 
perfectly natm*al : for the use of the hands is a matter 
of prime necessity, and they, as well as their objects, 
are seen by the eye : but the organs of speech are out 
of sight, and are not brought into requisition until the 
owner finds he cannot do longer without words. The 
application of words too, it is to be remembered, is 
arbitrary ; and of course the labor of every step in 
spoken language is very great — particularly the ear- 
liest steps. 

Without entering further into this curious subject, 
I will merely remark, that children cannot be reason- 
ably expected to speak at a m uch earlier age than 
they commonly do. The task is so great that nothing 
but necessity driving them every step, and much time 
being allowed for their slow progress, could enable 
them to acquire their mother tongue. Yet without 
language the human mind can make but little ad- 
vancement in knowledge, the heart can enjoy 
but little pleasure, and cannot be much improved. 
An uneducated deaf and dumb person, affords too 
strong corroboration of this truth. It is therefore very 
desirable that a child should be furnished with the 
means of expressing thought and feeling as soon as 
possible, both for its enjoyment,and its moral and intel- 
lectual benefit. It is desirable, also, to form habits of 
mental activity ; for a mind which ceases to progress 
in knowledge, loses, in a degree, that great distinctive 
faculty of mind — the desire and the capacity for 
improvement. 

These remarks on language have been made to apply 



36 THE father's book. 

to children of all ages, as the principle holds good, 
throughout life ; and are designed to remind the fa- 
ther, that he should ever aim at keeping up an intel- 
ligent communication with his child's mind. 

I will close with stating a fact, designed to show what 
may be done, and to encourage the father to do some- 
thing to aid his infant in obtaining early some means 
of expression. A child of about eight months old, 
Avas once sitting on my knee, and observing the 
wheels of my watch, I shut and opened it several 
times, and by taking her little hands, closing them 
together and opening them, so as to resemble the 
opening of the watch, taught her to do it, rewarding 
her by showing her the wheels of the Avatch when- 
ever she did it. The sign she repeated daily ; and 
after some time began to apply it in a more extensive 
sense, first to opening a door. Wishing to see the 
inside of a drawer one day, she pointed at it, and used 
the same sign, although thp motion of opening a 
drawer is so ditterent from that of opening a watch. 
Success in expressing an idea for the first time, by 
any means which costs exertion, proves a great en- 
couragement to a child to make new attempts ; while 
repeated failure discourages it into inaction, which 
may become habitual. 



CHAPTER IV. 



THE HEALTH OF CHILDREN. 

The health of children — Some knowledge of the human system 
desirable, and a few medicines — A good system of food, exercise, 
early rising, &c. best — Diet — Various exercises appropriate to the 
■ health of body and mind. 

In relation to the health of children, the father 
cannot expect to have the principal care of it devolv- 
ing upon himself: yet he ought to obtain some ac- 
quaintance with the bones, the muscles, the tendons, 
the membranes, &c., which compose the frail human 
frame. He should know something of the nature, 
symptoms, and treatment of the diseases, to which 
he and his family are most likely to be exposed, and 
keep a few of the safe medicines, whose use he may 
easily learn from a judicious physician. All he can 
learn and do in this manner, however, will not prove 
in the long run of as much value as the early adop- 
tion and steady observance of a few simple rules of 
wholesome diet, early rising, active employments or 
exercises, judicious dress, and cheerful tempers. 

Children should be trained to love every species of 
food which is placed before them; but with respect 
to this I would recommend that the example be set 
them of eating of but one dish of meat at a meal, 
and in moderate quantity, especially when any thing 
4* 



38 THE father's book. 

else is to succeed it ; that spices be discarded ; and 
that they drink only milk and water. Children have 
such appetites, when in good health, that they require 
no rich sauces, no display of accomplished cookery ; 
and such is the plain truth with respect to adults, 
though it will be difficult to make some of my readers 
credit the assertion. When a child is hungry, as in 
the morning, promise it a piece of " nice bread, made 
of fine flour, from the wheat (or rye, or corn,) which 
God makes to grow, on purpose for us, in the fields." 
Praise its taste, beforehand ; and while the child is 
eating it, take a bit yourself, and ask if it is not very 
good. Whoever has a child really fond of bread, may 
avoid many of the dangers which others fall into 
from eating improper food. I would, in like manner, 
praise good, wholesome food of different kinds, and 
eat it with cheerfulness and gratitude, conversing, 
however, on subjects of greater importance, while at 
meals. A child should be habituated to seeing food 
regarded according to its real value, and used for its 
appropriate end ; and, that he may enjoy this " ad- 
vantage in education," the father should ever bear 
in mind, that, 

1. Food must be wholesome, or it loses its nature, 
and ought to lose its name : so that a parent who 
feeds his child with any thing likely to injure it, must 
be said in some sense to give it poison. 

2. Food derives its value from its power of sup- 
porting the body; and the body is valuable only 
when subservient to the mind. Of course, that ali- 
ment is the best, indeed the only proper food, which 
will most promote the health, sustain the powers in 



HEALTH OF CHILDREN. 39 

their natural harmony, and keep them in the best 
condition to be submissive and useful to the mind. 

3. The taste, when properly trained, and employed 
on wholesome food, is the source of sufficient grati- 
fication to induce us to eat at proper intervals and in 
proper quantities. Providence has given simple food 
a relish to a hungry man, superior to any which 
cookery can impart to those miscalled dainties which 
it sets before the glutton or the valetudinarian. If 
we would consult even the temporary gratification of 
our children therefore at meals, we should do nothing 
to weaken that taste, or to underrate the taste of 
bread, water, and the plainest food best suited to 
their stomachs. 

Rising early, is a habit which it is of high importance 
to fix in children ; and in forming it, there is far 
greater facility than in most other cases. There is 
a natural propensity in children generally to early ris- 
ing, which needs only to be gratified and encouraged. 
They usually retire to bed some hours before their 
parents ; ■ and at daylight, or at least at sunrise, 
are generally awake, and anxious to rise. Many of 
them are actually bred up with difficulty to the habit 
of taking morning naps : which, when once formed, 
generally prevails through life. Let the father deny 
himself so far as to retire early, and become an early 
riser also. His health, enjoyments and usefulness, 
he may depend upon it, will be perceptibly benefited. 
Long-lived persons have been found, after extensive 
inquiry, to resemble each other only in this important 
practice. And this may be connected with another 
preventive of disease, active employment. 



40 THE father's book. 

The morning is the season for activity : the frame, 
invigorated by repose, is prepared for exertion, and 
motion gives pleasure. The pure atmosphere, so 
much more bracing than at other hours, so much 
sweeter and more exhilarating than the air of a con- 
fined chamber, has been prepared to b6 breathed ; 
and hke all nature's medicines, it is superior to any 
which science can produce. Early rising and early 
exercise might more properly be called food than 
medicine, as they are designed for daily use, and to. 
protect us from disease rather than to remove it. 
•Every thing, except mere sloth, invites us, nay, 
requires of us, to train up our children to iise them. 
The morning is the most favorable season for exercis- 
ing the frame, as well as for making useful impressions 
on the mind and heart, of important facts, moral 
principles or religious feelings ; and whoever tries to 
conduct the education of his child independently of 
this practice, will lose some of the most favorable 
opportunities. Exercises may be much varied, but 
should be as far as possible connected with something 
gently exciting to the spirits, instructive to the mind, 
or useful in their results. Children of three years old 
will often become tired of mere sport, and wish for 
some ijseful or instructive employment. It does not 
generally arise from a foolish desire to be thought to 
resemble men and w^omen, that they ask to be allowed 
to imitate them in their employments. Who has not 
felt the unsatisfactory nature of games, and longed 
and sought for occupations which should leave some 
useful or gratifying results behind them. " I well 
remember," once said a man, " many an hour, perhaps 



HEALTH OF CHILDREN. 41 

I may say day or week, spent in attempts to invent, or 
experiments to test, plans to accomplish such objects. 
In multitudes I failed — not, as 1 could now show, for 
lack of exertion, patience or ingenuity : but for the 
want of materials, encouragement or information, on 
arriving at some obstacle insurmountable without it.'* 
I would have a child of two and a half years old 
supplied with smooth bits of wood, stones, shells, &c. 
of different colors. Blocks of woodj to pile upon the 
floor or the ground, may offer one simple branch of 
amusement for older ones. At a very early period of 
life, they will not exert ingenuity in placing them, 
but may take more interest than they express in 
learning their external qualities, color, hardness, 
smoothness, shapes, &c. At three, give them about 
twenty blocks in the shape of bricks, that is, one inch 
thick, two broad and four long, or in that proportion ; 
and give them half a dozen or more sticks shaped 
like timbers, and as many more like plank, that they 
may build houses. Or you may give them twenty or 
more sticks like logs, with the ends notched so as to 
fit together, and teach them to construct a log house 
or barn. The inhabitants or cattle may be represent- 
ed with things not very like, unless they have toys 
of the kind ; and they may be taught to go daily 
through the form of taking them to drink, giving 
them feed, &c. &c. 

It is always desirable to connect agreeable occu- 
pation of the mind and feelings with exercise of the 
body ; and what opportunity can be more fit, than a 
morning walk, or an hour in the garden or at other 
work, often presents to the father, to inculcate some 



4^ THE father's book. 

knowledge or duty in an appropriate manner upon 
his child ] What can be more painful, than to see 
a parent silent, and absent in mind, in the company 
of his children, especially during a walk or a ride 1 
Yet there are those who seem to think they can add 
nothing to their enjoyment or improvement by assist- 
ing younger minds to the acquisition of instruction 
or pleasure. A father should cultivate in himself a 
taste for the beauties of the natural world. What 
multiplied opportunities he may find, in morning and 
afternoon excursions, to direct the attention of his 
children to them, and thus to lead them into a habit 
which greatly tends to refine and purify, while it 
opens a way to much enjoyment. In such employ- 
ment, the pious father should feel that he treads the 
path sanctified by his Saviour, who honored so many 
a natural object, with his notice, while with some of 
the most humble of them he deigned to be compared. 
How delightful it ie, while the father bids his little 
one to look the lamb or the dove in the face, and say 
whether it looks kind or cross ; to observes its mo- 
tions, and say of whom it is an emblem ; to reflect how 
sweetly and permanently the object may be thus 
associated for life with some passage in the Scrip- 
tures, or some attribute of Him of whom Moses did 
write. 

While writing on the means of promoting the 
health of children, I thus unconsciously stray to such 
subjects of thought, and such means of cherishing 
the aflfections, as they naturally lead to ; and who 
can avoid admiring again the harmony which pre- 



HEALTH OF CHILDREN. 43 

vails among the enjoyments of a sound mind unit- 
ed with a sound body *? 

The manner in which a child may be initiated into 
a knowledge of geography is mentioned in another 
part of this volume ; and it may be made a very 
pleasant object for a walk or ride, to visit a pond, a 
brook, a commandin g hill ; or, as the plan embraces 
various branches of natural and civil history, &c. &c. 
plants, animals, roads, bridges, fisheries, mills, boats, 
the tools and processes of the arts, the implements 
and systems of agriculture, the forms observed at 
courts, and public meetings, and in short almost 
every thing which can be usefully learned or taught, 
may be embraced in this plan. 

Against fishing, shooting, and every thing connect- 
ed with the destruction of life, I would caution 
the parent. Children naturally, I believe, shrink 
from inflicting pain upon animals when they realize 
that they suffer. The example of another, particular- 
ly of a parent, will however soon suppress and oblit- 
erate such emotions ; and nothing can be more cruel, 
than the acts which children sometimes commit on 
harmless brutes, when misled by example. 



CHAPTER V. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

At what age is it to be commenced ? — How is it to be conveyed ? — 
Force of example — Anecdotes to prove early religious instruction 
possible — Reasons for undertaking it. 

To many a parent has it been a subject of most 
interesting inquiry, " What is my duty in relation ib'^ 
the religious education of my children 1" In reply to 
this question, answers have been returned by different 
persons, skilled in other branches of education, opposed 
to the views of many judicious and practical parents. 
On a subject 'which is so differently regarded as 
religion, this diversity of views is not to be wondered 
at, so much as that parents and teachers should ever 
receive an opinion as decisive, without inquiring into 
the principles on which it is founded. If there be any 
point in education to which we may claim the atten- 
tion of the good father, it is this most important point 
of all. 

That distinguished friend of instruction, Fellenberg, 
has expressed the opinion, that the mysteries of 
religion should not be taught to a young child, because 
it is unable to understand them. It has also been 
asserted in this country, that a child is in danger of 
forming erroneous views of Christianity, unless its 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 45 

ifnind be first brought to it, by a particular course of 
training, in an acquaintance with its obligations to 
parents, &c. Fellenberg has not informed us what 
they are which he calls mysteries ; nor has it yet been 
shown, so far as I know, why it is necessarily easier 
for a child to comprehend or to perform its duties to 
its parent than to its Maker. As the principles which 
we lay down on this subject are to be fundamental, 
let us use particular care that they be sound, or they 
may mar our whole fabric. 

On account of the supreme importance of religion, 
and the remarkable adaptation of all the faculties of 
man to his being a rehgious creature, we should 
naturally presume that he would be fitted to receive 
rehgious knowledge in very , early life. The Christian 
rehgion .preeminently requires us to form this conclu- 
sion, as it proclaims obedience to its precepts to be 
necessary to salvation at that early age — whenever it 
be — when the child. begins to be capable of transgres- 
sion. Rehgious instruction, then, in a Christian 
country, is pressed upon the parent as a thing of prime 
necessity ; and the neglect or delay of it may be just- 
ly compared with his 'failure to procure necessary 
nourishment to support the life of the child. Nay, 
we must go farther : for, as negligence in teaching the 
truth, in many cases, amounts to an actual though an 
indirect inculcation of error, the omission of religious 
instruction resembles withholding bread, and placing 
poison within reach. 

Before anything is said about the direct means by 
which children may be early instructed in religious 
truths, and trained to religious feelings, the mind of 
5 



46 THE father's book. 

the parent may be turned to consider the force of 
example. There is a period in the life of every 
person, when he begins to attach motives to conduct : 
to judge of character by actions. Influenced probably 
by what it feels within, a child early and sponta- 
neously looks upon those around it as influenced by 
feelings and intentions in what they do. And by the 
way, it needs no argument, no particular course of 
training, to lead it to this belief. Whenever this period 
arrives, then commences a most important branch of 
instruction: viz. instruction by example, to which 
the person will ever be more or less subject. 

This subject is eminently a practical one, and I will 
therefore endeavor to interest my readers at the outset, 
by stating some of the facts on which I place much 
reliance. With a child of a very mild and gentle 
disposition, a father whom I well knew, began, at the 
age of two years, to pray every morning. Before 
breakfast they had generally half an hour to spend 
together in games and prattle. On meeting, he 
received her with smiles, kissess, and kind expressions. 
" Who took care of you last night, and waked you 
so well and happy this morning ]" " God." " Where 
is he ] Can you see him ? Can he see us ? Is he 
always good ? Ought we to be so 1 Can he help us 
to be so ]" and other such questions, he asked, one, 
two or more, every day, having before taken favorable 
opportunities, generally about the calm hour of sunset, 
to inform her on such points. He then said, " Father 
is going to thank our good God for taking care of us, 
and to ask him to make us good to-day. Will you 
thank him too '?" The child usually complied, and 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 47 

reverently repeated after him a short and simple 
prayer, which was varied in words and subjects every 
day. If she turned away and appeared disinclined to 
the service, he generally urged her to return, but did 
not insist ; then kneeled himself and repeated a prayer 
aloud, rose, kissed her, and after a short pause, or a 
few words, proceeded to play with her or to teach her. 
In some cases she would ask him to pray with her 
afterwards ; and the example he set her was found 
to have a profitable effect on her mind. On going to 
bed he practised saying an appropriate prayer ; atid 
afterwards whenever he found her awake in the night, 
used to ask her if she would pray, and lead her in an 
ejaculatory exercise. At length these practices be- 
came habitual with both ; and one of the most delight- 
ful recollections he retains of a dear child, now gone 
from this world, is of her voice repeating a little prayer 
after him in the dead of night, as was frequently the 
case when not another word was spoken by each of 
them btjfoift or after it. 

He has since pursued' ^ similar course with another 
child also, of a more lively and irritable disposition, 
yet with results very similar. With the former, as 
the difference of character would have led one ac- 
quainted with them to expect, the effects were more 
perceptible ; and she was sometimes known to retire 
spontaneously, and pray for the recovery of friends 
from sickness ; and sometimes, when told to do so, she 
would go and pray alone for her own improvement 
and forgiveness, after committing a fault, and before 
the feehng of repentance seemed to have taken entire 
possession of her. 



48 THE father's book. 

Now, to give briefly the arguments in favor of early 
instructing children in religion, and training them to 
the performance of religious duties, I would remark — 

1. We cannot ascertain, from observation, rea- 
soning or revelation, any .particular period before 
which a child cannot learn^ and after which it can 
learn, such important lessons. 

2. The neglect of teaching religious truths and 
duties may amount to the practical inculcation of the 
great falsehood, that there are no such truths and no 
such duties. If the parent above alluded to had 
neglected to speak to his children of God, duty, sin 
and a Saviour, and had never prayed in their presence ; 
and if every one else around them had pursued that 
course, would they not have been inclined to doubt or 
disbelieve, if after some months or years they* had 
heard of such things ? Would they not at least have 
questioned the sincerity of their father, who had known 
such great truths without communicating them or 
acting under their influence ? 

TVt; should not lose siglii of -wliai may be called 
negative instruction, or the impressions conveyed to 
our children by our omissions and neglect. It is 
highly important for us to ascertain not only what 
example is set, by a wise and good man, in what 
he does, but also in what he does not. How 
can we teach our children so effectually and natur- 
ally our total rejection of heathenism, mohamedanism 
or any other false doctrine, as by excluding them 
from our conversation ] Will not our children as they 
grow up hence presume that we entirely rejected 
them, even if they never hear us discourse concerning 
them? 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 49 

The Scriptures inculcate the duty of giving early 
religious instruction in various forms, calculated for 
children of tender year?. The twelve stones which 
were set up on the bank of Jordan by Divine com- 
mand, were placed there for the express purpose of 
exciting children to ask one of those natural questions, 
which parents of the present day too often discour- 
age and blame as impertinent : — " What mean 
ye by these stones 1" In every arrangement we 
make for our children, we should have it in recollec- 
tion, that it must have a meaning. They .will 
ask questions in relation to almost every thing, 
though it often be but to their own minds, and they will 
obtain such answers as they can, to illustrate our mo- 
tives in making them. In relation to that most im- 
portant subject, religion, we should be particularly 
careful to offer occasions to excite our children to 
make inquiries. And this can be done as effectually 
by pursuing certain practices, as by erecting visible 
monuments. 

Suppose a child, who sees its mother retire at a 
particular hour in the morning to her closet — the 
most secluded spot in the house — and regularly re- 
turning with a calmer and sweeter expression, softer 
words, and more dignified demeanor. How natural 
it would be for it to feel a desire to know the cause 
of her absence, and of effects so agreeable to itself? I 
have known a case in which a child of about two 
years and a half, and of a volatile disposition, began 
to ask its mother why she thus retired ; and as she 
had been carefully taught as much as possible on this 
subject, on requesting permission was sometimes al- 
6* 



50 THE father's book. 

lowed to accompany her to ber place of secret devo* 
tion, where she observed a respectful silence, and of- 
ten kneeled the whole time. Now let the reader 
pause for a few moments, and recall some of the re- 
collections of his feehngs and thoughts in early child- 
hood. How does every child feel towards his mo- 
ther ; how will every thing which appeared to affect 
her feelings, touch his heart ; how intense and how 
tender may have been the exercises of this little gid's 
breast, when she realized for the first time that her 
mother not only spoke of God's goodness, but daily 
meditated on him, loved him, held him in awe and 
reverence, conversed with him, and was becoming 
more loving and lovely by the exercise ! Can any 
one suppose, that one of those little beings, who in a 
mere fit of frolic will often imitate words and actions 
with accuracy which it has witnessed, even after a 
long interval, and whose memory receives lasting im- 
pressions e ven from trifling circumstances, should get 
no wise instruction, and no important benefit from such 
a scene as this ? The vicious and the heathen have 
never found a time so early in the life of their offspring, 
that they withheld their example and instruction for 
fear they might be misunderstood ; and it behoves 
Christian fathers and mothers, not to postpone their 
work until the enemy of all good, by using superior 
sagacity and diligence, shall have pre-occupied their 
hearts. 

If we are to wait until a child can form an ade- 
quate idea of duty to parents, the nature of God, 
&c. and define his ideas to us correctly, before 
we begin its religious instruction, will the time 
ever come ? Who hias such ideas in perfec- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 61 

tion, or how many persons can define such as 
they have 1 Is it necessary for us to do this, before 
we can learn any thing useful of our Maker or our- 
selves ] Alas, we find that our children can break 
laws before they can define them, or even pronounce 
the name of the Lawgiver. Let us see then that 
they have an opportunity also to learn how to obey. 

Now the very uncertainty of the time when the 
child will begin to read motives in actions, affords a 
most powerful reason why the parent should at all 
times make his own daily conduct an useful book; 
We canaot determine too early, that. our actions shall 
teach goodness, as far as they are* understood; and this 
for our own advantage as well as for theirs. 

Religious education, lying at the foundation of all 
other education, should claim most serious attention ; 
and here we may embrace under two heads the princi- 
pal points on which, as it appears to me, grand errors 
are most likely to be committed : First, the time for 
commencing religious instruction ; and secondly, the 
manner of communicating it. 

" Out of the mouth of babes .and sucklings thou 
hast perfected praise." What Christian parent could 
desire more encouraigement from the Scriptures than 
this text contains, for the earliest possible endeavors to 
teach religion to his children? But, it is objected, — 
even by some very excellent and sagacious men,^the 
child cannot understand invisible things ; it can form 
only erroneous ideas of the Creator, laws, duty, the 
way of salvation, and other points. To this . it may 
be answered, that it is impossible to ascertain exactly 
what a child does or does not understand in relation 



52 THE father's book. 

to a subject on which it has some means of know- 
ledge, and that very weak and simple minds do some- 
times learn the way to repentance, faith and heaven. 
Besides, where does the Bible give us any such warn- 
ing against the " too early" instruction of any person 
in the most important wisdom? Its cautions and 
threats are aimed against teaching falsely, carelessly, 
and not at all : but no where against the early and 
faithful endeavor to teach the tr uth. 

Let no Christian parent give ear to such objections : 
otherwise he will have reason to fear that his child 
will not be hke those who, on meeting the Son of 
God, could break out with " Hosanna in the highest." 
Those children must have had instruction, or they 
would not have knowm enough of the Saviour to 
exclaim, " Blessed is he that cometh in the name of 
the Lord !" 

I was once travelling in company with a little child 
of three and a half, who had been taught from her 
earliest days of intelligence, to look upon every thing 
with a religious eye. Her mother said to her, in a 
very fine, scene, " see my dear, how green the grass is, 
how pretty are the flowers !" "Yes," she replied in 
a whisper, " and God made them all." Thus children 
may often be thinking of subjects above those which 
engage the thoughts of others around them. In this 
case these few words conveyed a gentle reproof to the 
child's elder companions, who were thinking of less 
exalted subjects. I have in my possession many 
facts which show that a little religious truth has 
sometimes produced excellent effects on children, of 
the poor as well as of others, even when they have 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 53 

had little previous instruction. I speak from careful 
observation and many experiments, when I strongly 
recommend early and" systematic religious training, 
on a method adapted to the infantile mind and cha-" 
racter. , 
. I would answer again to an objector, that children 
can scarcely have more' imperfect or erroneous ideas 
of God or themselves, than those which are enter- 
tained by a large part, of men and women, either 
through indifference or dislike for serious reflection ; 
and yet no objection is made against teaching them. 
3. Many of the objections raised against religious 
truth by men, are not regarded as such by children. 
When a parent or teacher, .who, has the confidence 
and . affection of a little child, undertakes to lead him 
to a contemplation of such vast and interesting 
subjects, he meets no obstacles.like those which hedge 
up so many of the minds of adults from its influence,. 
Here is no favorite theory to be surrendered, no 
supposed logical acumen to be displayed, no long 
cherished, besetting sin to be -exposed, no avowed 
opinion to be retracted, no party or person to charge 
with want of consistency, no habit of thrusting by the 
point of trutb with ridicule, or sophistry, or Voluntary 
forge tfulnfess. The heart which is to be touched is 
not hardened by the frequent rejection of the argu- 
ments you urge. There is seldom any forethought 
used by a child, before admitting truth, to discover 
whether it will compel him to admit the obligation of 
some unpleasant duty. Men often think it necessary 
for a person to proceed bya certain course of rea- 
soning, like that which is usually pursued in studying 



54 THE father's book. 

a science, before any real progress can be made. A 
child will not be able to tell you in logical terms what 
a law is, or a duty, or a sin, or atonement, and yet 
will easily admit that he has done \vrong in doing 
what God forbids, and pray for forgiveness, and seek 
to reform. His want of words or of metaphysics will 
not prevent him from feeling his obligation to obey, 
or the indispensable need of a Saviour, nor will they 
stand between his heart and the throne of Him who 
dwells with the humble and the contrite. Those 
who would postpone religious instruction to a some- 
what advanced age, (I call three years an advanced 
age in this case,) appear to me to forget that there is 
a conscience which in children generally performs its 
part with greater power and certainty than in adults. 
I would therefore urge the good father to endeavor 
to teach his child rehgion as early as there is any 
possibility of its understanding it ; and when we shall 
have considered the second division of the subject, 
viz. the manner of instruction, I trust the reasonable- 
ness of this course will be farther evident. 



CHAPTER VI. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION— confmwed. 

The importance and interest of human physiology, or the know- 
ledge of our own frames — The science of the soul superior to 
every branch of natural history, &c. — The dawning of intellect — ■ 
T)ie first appearance of the affections — The acquisition of ideas — 
Errors of opinion concerning the time to commence religious instruc- 
tion — A plan recommended for early teaching the fundamental prin- 
ciples of the Christian reUgion — Parents responsible for the religious 
doctrines they inculcate. 

The life of a father may be viewed as one of con- 
stant and interesting variety, in the same sense as 
that of the chemist, who has always abundant sub- 
jects for curious attention, investigation and experi- 
ments. There is always ample room for inquiry? 
reading and reflection. The science which he pur- 
sues is not only of the highest importance, when 
viewed as that of simply training the body, mind and 
heart : but, when regarded in its whole extent, is 
seen to embrace every other branch of science, and, 
as has before been represented, includes also self- 
knowledge, and the knowledge of the Creator. How 
unimportant, compared with the practical study of the 
human mind and heart, appear the habits of brutes, 
the number and nature of fishes and birds ! Learned 
men have thought it worthy of them to devote years 



56 THE father's book. 

to inquiring into the peculiarities of the most insig- 
nificant, and even disgusting, reptiles and insects : 
but the parent, ^hile he will wish to pay proper 
attention to these, will not so unreasonably magnify 
their importance as to forget those of a far loftier 
nature, more worthy of the mind, and more useful to 
man. 

If there be any thing truly interesting in the study 
of any branch of the natural kingdom, as we call the 
works of creation ; if there be anything in the nature 
of minerals, vegetables, or animals, worthy of close 
attention, the human frame must be allowed to be 
inuch more so, because it is the most perfect of all 
the material objects with which we are acquainted; 
while at the same time it constitutes the wonderful 
habitation of the soul. Selfish considerations, as well 
as a love for other people, should recommend to us a 
proper regard to this subject. Shall we remain in 
voluntary ignorance of our own bones and sinews, the 
causes of disease and the preservatives of health, 
while we show such solicitude to enlarge and embellish 
our houses, — the habitations of the habitations of our 
souls ? This branch of study the father has oppor- 
tunity to pay some attention to,. as has before been 
remarked, during the months of his child's tenderest 
infancy ; and as its frame is daily developing its 
powers, he will be able to observe the exemplification 
of some of the principles of which he reads. 

But the father's attention will not be long confined 
to observing the animal nature alone. The first time 
the little eyes are fixed* upon any object in such a 
manner as to show that it excites attention, the pa- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 57 

rent feels what perhaps he cannot express. The 
first gleam of intelligence which indicates the action 
of a soul, seems far more sublime than the break of 
day in the east. The sight of it forces upon the 
observer ideas of the nature of the mind which pro- 
bably he never before experienced. He has looked 
for weeks upon a form, dear and beautiful perhaps to 
his eyes, but exhibiting only the traits of animal na^ 
ture : when suddenly a ray from a superior source 
shoots from the eye— that organ which seems near- 
est the soul ! The limbs and features which have 
been gazed upon by the parents on account of their 
symmetry, delicacy, or resemblance to other friends, 
are viewed with other feelings^ when they begin to 
obey the will of the unseen soul, for whose use they 
wiere formed and perfected. 

The time will also come, ere long, when the moth- 
er will perceive the lip assume a new expression, 
and she will exclaim with delight — " Oh, he smiles !" 
How cold does mere intellect appear when we first 
witness the display of the affections ! However happy 
the parent may have felt, when successively informed 
that his child was in existence, that he possessed a per- 
fect frame, and was endued with intelligence ; there is 
nothing that goes to the heart like the firstreturn of smile 
for smile, the first gentle drawing of the little lips, which 
conveys the reality of that idea we would express by the 
words — " Oh, he loves|]me !" Mind itself now loses its 
supreniacy in our view ; and if we will duly reflect 
and balance the intellect and the affections, we shall 
discover the superior. importance of training the latter 
aright, because the former, like the members of the 
6 



58 

bodily frame, are in a great measure destined to be 
but their servants. 

And now the progress made by the soul in its use 
of the senses will be perceptible ; and an attentive 
observer will find ample scope for curious remarks, 
ingenious experiments, and humble admiration of that 
Almighty Mind which makes wise provision for the 
developement and improvement of those faculties 
which he has created, even from their earliest ex- 
istence. The curious and complicated machinery, 
corporeal and spiritual, of which the infant consists, 
might have remained forever in a state of inaction 
but for the incitement given it to exertion by its 
wants, and the means of gratifying them. The 
parent will observe that it requires not only food, 
and occasional changes of position, but changes of 
sights, sounds, and objects of touch. The mind, 
as well as the body, is restless, and claims more 
and more to nourish and occupy it. 

And the infant affords a powerful practical les- 
son on the manner in which instruction should be 
communicated. Show a child of three weeks old 
a lighted lamp, (but do not dazzle its weak sight in 
the experiment,) and his eyes are fixed upon it 
long before they will turn to any less striking object. 
Place one of six or seven months upon a plain floor, 
or any thing else of an uniform color, and he shows 
little regard for it. But when placed on a figured 
carpet, or shown any object of bright colors, children 
of that age will often express lively pleasure. I have 
noticed several infants to be early attracted by the 
motion of the foot while sitting on the parent's knee ; 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 69 

and after a period of a few weeks, on being laid upon 
a carpet, or brought near a piece of polished metal, 
I have seen them even laugh out for joy. Every- 
thing which they take a fancy to and can obtain, 
they feel over and over, with their hands and lips, 
for a long time ; for the perception of external quali- 
ties of material objects at that age gives them plea- 
sure. In the long process of forming an acquaintance 
with the world around them in detail, we can give 
them no assistance, except by supplying them with 
proper objects for examination. They can derive no 
benefit from all the knowledge we possess, and they 
look not to us for any aid, but pursue the very same 
course which we and our ancestors pursued in turn 
with equal independence and equal success. By ten 
thousand repeated touches and looks, the hardness 
and softness, the roughness and smoothness, the col- 
ors, forms and sizes of the objects with which the child 
is familiar, become impressed upon its mind, and asso- 
ciated together as they really are ; and when a con- 
siderable progress has been made in the reception of 
ideas, language begins to come in with its aid. 

When a child first associates objects with sounds, 
it is impossible to tell ; but it is very certain that it 
always forms a considerable acquaintance with lan- 
guage before it begins to speak. I have tried several 
children, who at eight months of age would turn their 
eyes on several of the most famihar objects and 
persons around them, as their names were successively 
mentioned. 1 noted down on one occasion the result 
of an experiment of this kind which greatly surprised 
me. A little girl of eleven months, who had been 



60 THE father's book. 

taught but few of the words by design, pointed out 
the eyes, nose, feet, arms, &c. of her doll, and different 
objects in the room, the names of which she must 
have learned from the conversation of others. And 
in learning language, when they begin to use it, 
children also enjoy much pleasure. Providence has 
made it highly agreeable to them to attach a name 
to a thing, and so to indicate it when they can speak. 
Making a natural sign seems not to give them much 
pleasure : but the ingenuity of speech delights them. 
In the early attempts to speak, as in every other 
exertion to improvCj let the parent encourage the 
child, by an expression of approbation. However 
imperfect the success, the child has done his best, 
and this you can safely tell him. How much they 
need encouragement, how much exertion and courage 
it requires to make a little one expose its conscious 
weakness in an attempt it has never made before, none 
but close observers, or those who have good memories, 
can form any idea. I have seen a child sit thought- 
fully for some time, meditating how some new word 
should be pronounced, or some idea expressed by a 
combination of words, and feeling so backward at 
making an experiment it had decided on, that a word 
of encouragement, or a smile, was necessary to bring 
it out. How effectually will indifference, ridicule, 
and especially harshness, discourage and postpone the 
exertions of a mind in such a state ! 

And I have said so much on this point, because the 
principle is to be extended to every branch of instruc- 
tioii, to every step in the career of knowledge. The 
man, like the child, if he improves at all, must improve 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 61 

by his own exertions ; and to the exertion he must 
be led by motives. The all- wise Creator has made 
the path of knowledge inviting, and this by the simple 
display of the attractions with which he has invested 
it, to perceptions which are so formed as to derive a 
pleasme from its pursuit. This he does with con- 
summate skill and inimitable success, because he is 
actuated by boundless benevolence, and perfectly 
understands both mind, matter and motives. Man, 
through indolence, remains ignorant of both, and too 
generally seeks to accomplish the object by means not 
only inadequate, but injurious. Being unable, through 
negligence in study, to present knowledge in its 
attractive aspects, he resorts to emulation in its stead ; 
and when that fails, he calls in harshness and even 
violence to his aid. How different is such a course 
from the plan of that Great Instructor, who attracts 
our attention to one branch of nature's productions by 
painting them with colors in which the eye delights, 
perfuming them to gratify another sense, and enriching 
them with flavors most agreeable to our palate — 
who has made "the heavens declare the glory of 
God" by the exhibition of beauties not merely trans- 
cendent, but varied, bright and attractive. 

It is a very common error, for persons to suppose 
that a child must first have a general acquaintance 
with the history recorded in the Scriptures, and a 
knowledge of all the leading personages and events 
in their due order and relations, before it can under- 
stand the great doctrines inculcated, or entertain such 
views of religion as are necessary to enable it to em- 
brace its fundamental principles. 
6* 



62 THE father's book. 

" Into this unfortunate mistake," remarked a 
teacher of children, " I once fell, and was not convin- 
ced of my error till after long ineffectual labor to 
teach children on such a plan. I could sometimes get 
them interested in particular passages of the story of 
the flood, Joseph, or David, but their memory fixed 
upon only such facts as were of no use in connecting 
together the great parts of the history of the Bible. 
I at length discovered, that if I should persevere in 
my course, the children might either reach maturity 
or die before they could arrive at the knowledge of a 
Saviour ; and reflection and experiment convinced 
me that I had been misusing the Scripture narratives, 
by directing thom only at the head — by endeavoring 
to make the facts merely understood and remembered, 
instead of aiming chiefly to produce in the heart the 
feelings they are designed to inculcate. My plan was 
soon changed ; and my success was more gratifying." 
It may be recommended to those who teach reli- 
gion to the young, (and I might say the old also who 
need such instruction,) to adopt the following gene- 
ral course, which may be gone through in a few 
lessons. 

1 . The being and nature of God — That he is great, 
good, &c. 

2. The creation of the world and man, " all very 
good." 

3. The condition of Adam and Eve in Eden. 

4. The fall ; and on this I would show distinctly 
the sin; by plain arguments merely. The con- 
science will acknowledge that it was ungrateful, un- 
reasonable, foolish in the extreme, and on all accounts 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 63 

wrong. The child will never ask who made the 
man and woman disobey. He will feel that they did 
it themselves. 

5. The consequences of the fall, to Adam and Eve, 
in the perversion of their affections and minds, 
which made them totally different from what they 
had been ; and in their situation. Its consequences 
to their children must then be shown. It will be 
enough to tell the young that their children were 
like the parents ; and a child's conscience will ac- 
knowledge that he is so too, not loving God, and 
goodness, as he ought. 

6. Enlarge upon the inability of mankind to regain 
happiness and the favor of God. Even if we should 
do all we ought during the rest of our lives, how 
could we make up for the evil we have already done 1 

7. The promise of a Saviour in Genesis iii. 15. and 
a brief account of some of the good men who believed 
a Saviour would come, and trusted in him : Noah, 
Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, &c. with a few 
passages from different parts of the Bible in relation to 
Christ. 

8. Open at Luke ii. and give a simple account of 
the Saviour's birth, without attempting to explain to 
a young child much about Augustus, or Cyrenius, 
or taxing, &c. (It was " in a country a great way 
off," and " many years ago," which they may learn 
more about when they are older.) Then mention 
that Simeon (verse 25) and Anna (verse 36) were 
two of those good people who expected a Saviour, and 
trusted him, and longed to see him before they died — 
their supposable feelings and thoughts. On so inte- 



64 THE father's book. 

resting a subject it will be well to enlarge. Then 
read their impressions on discovering the Saviour in 
a little boy brought into the house of God. Make 
the children partake in those feelings, by showing 
that you have them while speaking of the passage 
and reading it, and that Christ is of inestimable, un- 
speakable value, to your prospects of happiness. 

9. Luke ii. 40th verse to the end. By this and a 
few other passages, show what Christ did and said, 
w^hence the children will form an idea of his life and 
instructions. When they are interested in any pas- 
sage, mark it to be committed to memory, or to be 
often repeated. 

10. The crucifixion. I would read the account 
and comment upon it briefly, but would rather not 
dwell on the painful circumstances to a young child, 
as its feelings will be sympathetic, and lead it away 
from the object of his death. I would, like Paul, 
preach Christ crucified, but chiefly as a sacrifice in 
our stead. This will be most clearly presented to a 
child's comprehension, by speaking of him as loving 
us so much as to come from heaven to save us, 
taking our sins upon him, living like a poor man, 
without a home, &c. being ill-treated, and at last put 
to death. 

11. The resurrection. Here is a deUghtful op- 
portunity to give a child lofty views of heaven, and 
a just idea of the greatness, goodness, and glory of 
the Redeemer, and of many other subjects, in which 
he ought to be instructed. I would remember that 
if Christ be not risen^ then our faith is vain. 

The young will find endless interest in hearing 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 65 

Scripture characters and events described and recount- 
ed, if they be presented in a manner and language 
adapted to their capacities ; though not much if they 
find their parents or teachers are indifferent to them, 
or preferring other books. The parent, in his instruc- 
tions, should read the words of scripture whenever he 
appears to read them, using his own only when he is 
professedly explaining them, or commenting upon 
the subject. A father once substituted a word, in a 
verse of the New Testament, for a less familiar one, 
that his little daughter might understand it ; and the 
next day, while her mother at her request was read- 
ing the same, she said, "You do not read it right ;" 
insisting on retaining the word he had used. This 
taug-ht him a lesson. He has never since repeated 
the experiment. 

With regard to the doctrines to be taught : that is' 
a point for which the parent is and must be respon- 
sible. If we inculcate fundamental error, either 
through indifference, or pi-ejudice, or dislike of the 
truth, the fault is ours. No parent can avoid ac- 
countabihty for misleading his child when the path 
which his Maker has pointed out for both to pursue 
lay strait before them. As, however, few will ex- 
pect to induce their children to believe, perform and 
love what they reject, neglect and disrelish, or per- 
haps oppose, the parent must feel that he has a 
double motive to become a sincere and practical 
Christian. Happy will it be, both for himself and 
his child, if he commences his task of education with 
that character ; without it he will have to encounter 
obstacles at every step. Few, in a land like ours. 



66 THE father's book. 

will hesitate to wish that their children may live 
according to the principles of the gospel ; and it is a 
gratifying reflection, in urging the inculcation of 
them, that in relation to what is essential, there is 
so extensive an accordance of opinion among different 
sects. The education of children with a due regard 
to these, is extremely well fitted to impress parents 
still more strongly with their value, and of the 
secondary importance of every thing else. 

The following conversation, which actually occur- 
red as it is here given, between a little girl of about 
three and a half, and her father, may show the natu- 
ral influence of the course here recommended. She 
had been accustomed to it, and the beauty of morn- 
ing, with the calmness of her heart, often seemed to 
be thus associated Avith thoughts of religion. 

On the occasion alluded to, she came in with her 
little tea cups and saucers in her hand, and taking 
her usual seat at the window, after an embrace from 
her father, said : — 

" Father, won't you please to come to the window, 
and see how God has taken the rain away '?" — " Yes, 
directly." 

" Won't you come and take the cover off this cup, 
and see how God has taken the rain away ?" 

Her father then took a seat b}^ her. 

" Dear father, won't you read in your Bible to me ?" 

« Yes — what shall I read about ?" 

" Read about God." 

" About God's doing what V 

" Taking care of litten children." He read, " It is 
a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord, to sing 
praises to thy name, O most High !" After a brief 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 67 

explanation of the meaning of these words, and re- 
marks on how it is good to praise, he added : " Some 
people think little girls can't understand about God, 
my daughter." 

" I can," she replied instantly. 

" What can you understand about him ?' 

" That he takes care of litten children." 

"And what else r 

" He says you must punish naughty children." 

" Where does he say so 1" 

" In his holy Bible." 

" Do you know enough to say your prayers ?" 

" Yes sir." 

" I am going to say mine now — Come and kneel 
down with me." 

A little girl of about the same age, who had been 
accustomed to frequent prayer, was one night left 
in bed a few seconds by one of her parents, -who, on 
returning, said, " Let us ask God to make us good." 
"I did," said she. "WhenT "When you was gone 
away just now." On waking two or three mornings 
after, she spoke first and said, ** How good God has 
been, to take care of us, hasn't he ? I thanked my 
good God last night after I came to bed — I didn't 
speak loud — I spoke softly. Does God know me ? 
Does he know little brother ?' " Certainly : He 
made him, he gave him his eyes, and hands, and 
feel." "Did He make his merino frock 1" "No, 
mother made that : but she did not make the wool 
which the frock is made of : that came from a sheep ; 
and who makes sheep?" "God — and the little 
lambs too, and brother* and mother, and the nurse, and 
uncle, and all of us. — I want to get up." 



CHAPTER VII. 

A FAMILY ON THE SABBATH. 

The father's morning interview with his son^-Their prayer, and 
study of the Scriptures — Principles in religious instruction — Sun- 
day occupations for children — School — Church, 

What can be more delightful on earth, than the 
Sabbath, in a family where every arrangement and 
practice has been established in conformity with the 
principles of the gospel ? If there be any thing re- 
sembling heaven, any thing calculated to excite the 
loftiest and purest pleasure, it may be looked .for in a 
scene of such a nature. With the name of the Sab- 
bath will become associated, in the minds of the chil- 
dren, ideas of indescribable peacefulness, tranquillity, 
and joy. What they habitually read in the counte- 
nances of their parents, will be transferred to their 
own breasts ; and if their elders really find the Sab- 
bath the happiest day of the seven, value the oppor- 
tunity it affords to withdraw from worldly thoughts, 
and to partake of the enjoyments of a better state^ 
all this will be no secret to the little ones, who are 
stich adepts at reading the language of looks and 
actions. 

The father, rising in a devotional frame of mind, 
on a Sabbath morning, has spent a little time with 



OCCUPATIONS FOR THE SABBATH. 69 

books and meditations appropriate to the day, when 
his child approaches the door : that child is the sub- 
ject of many thoughts and wishes, and has already 
been mentioned in prayer this morning. 

" O Father, teach me to train this child for thee ; 
instruct me how to perform my duty to him now ; 
open his mind to understand something of thyself; 
influence his heart to love thee, through the Redeemer 
of men." 

Here is no ground for moroseness, or gloom, or 
coldness of feeling. On the contrary, the Sabbath 
is the day of hope, and joy, and affection. Those 
whose hearts and lives are most conformed to the 
spirit it requires, are the happiest, the only happy 
persons on earth. The loftiest subjects of contem- 
plation are presented to the mind, familiarity with 
which exalts and strengthens its powers, more than 
the study of any human science, even if pursued 
through life. The love of God and man influences 
the disposition towards every object ; and thus the 
Christian becomes the best human teacher. The 
father too is well prepared for his interesting task. 
The Bible is open before him, with all its variety of 
characters and scenes, of instructions and commands, 
directions, invitations and motives ; and, what is of 
great importance to the parent, with its own best 
plans and methods of instruction practically laid 
down. 

The child approaches the door of the apartment in 
which such preparations are made for his reception, 
with a sense of what he is there to meet. Experi- 
ence has taught him that his father's brow is pecu- 



70 THE father's book. 

liarly serene, on a Sabbath morning ; that his smiles 
are sweety his voice tender, his time no less appro- 
priated to his child than on other days. He antici- 
pates the welcome he is to receive, and the pleasure 
of getting instruction, on subjects which his father 
well knows how to render intelligible and interesting. 
His father has shown how much he values the worth 
of religion, and how sincerely he beheves it intelligi- 
ble to his child, by devoting his time to instruction. 
And in this respect how different is he from many 
fathers, who treat their little ones as if they had 
no intellect worthy of attention ! The son, with 
these feelings, enters the apartment where his fa- 
ther sits ; he receives his affectionate embrace, is 
seated on his knee, and his thoughts and feelings 
are soon directed to heaven by parental love, — 'that 
affection with which God compares his own be- 
nevolence towards his creatures. . 

"My dear child," the father may say, "how 
kind God is to give us another Sabbath day ! Here 
we are, all well, with a house to live in,, and many 
good things around us, no noise to disturb us, and 
the Bible to learn out of! O, let us try to be better 
to-day than we ever were in our lives. Father in- 
tends to try; and will you? I have thanked God 
once this morning ; but I love to thank Him and 
pray to Him with my child. He has given us pleasant, 
sleep, and kept us well, and we hav« a place to 
thank Him in. Come, let us kneel down." 

Perhaps the child will express reluctance, or be. 
attracted by something he sees through the window ; 
and if he be quite young his compliance should not be 



OCCUPATIONS FOR THE SABBATH. 71 

insisted on. . The father may kneel and say aloud : 
" O God, my father in Heaven, so good and kind to 
me and my little boy, and his mother, and all of us : I 
thank God for taking care of us last night, for giving 
us a home, and clothes, and food, and another holy 
Sabbath day. Make us good, O Lord, may we do 
nothing wrong, t)ut grow wise by learning the Bible, 
and may we help one another to get ready for hea- 
ven, and all live there together at last. Love us, O 
God, and'forgiveus, because Jesus Christ died for us. 
Amen." I have known children after hearing such 
a prayer, ask to be permitted to pray with the parent. 
These petitions may be varied in any degree, and 
should be suited to circumstances. I would occasion- 
ally use some expression from the Scriptures, even 
though the child might not be expected at first to 
know exactly what it meant. It is important that 
the phraseology of our excellent English translation 
of the Bible should be early familiar to children. 
They will often find out meanings, by the comparison 
of word with word in the various parallel expressions 
they hear ; and it will be our fault if they have not 
materials afforded, in our daily prayers and instruc- 
tions, for obtaining such light as they may be able to 
receive. I would not at 'first use thou, thee, art, hast, 
dost, or other words which the child never hears in 
conversation. In early religious exercises and in- 
structions, I would caution the father against using 
any words not perfectly intelligible, or easily explained 
and remembered. What should we think, what 
should we do, if a friend should undertake to teach 
us something which he considered of immense impor- 



72 THE father's book. 

tance to us, and should take every third or fourth 
word out of the Bengalee or Chinese language ? 
Yet this is like what many parents do in teaching 
children, though they may not realize it. If a word 
is unknown, and they cannot trace its probable mean- 
ing before another and another come up equally 
unknown, it maybe all English, but it is anintelligible 
to them ; and the utmost we can expect of them is, 
what the little ones so often do, viz., to sit patiently 
and fix their eyes upon us, while their thoughts are 
employing themselves 'as they may, on our dress, or 
some distant subject. 

The father now opens the Bible : or the child, 
if he has been accustomed to this kind of treatment, 
will probably say : " Dear father, shall I get you the 
Bible 1" or, " will you please to take me on your lap, 
and read to me about God ]" To such questions it 
may be replied : " What would you like best to hear 
of 1" or, " what good words do you think I am going 
to read to you this morning ?" 

Now the father must expect to be interrupted occa- 
sionally by such remarks, questions and exclamations, 
as will show the nature of the little mind he is teach- 
ing. This will by turns surprise and disappoint him : 
indeed it may sometimes, without proper self-posses- 
sion, produce a little vexation. But experience, with 
just views of the nature of children, will prevent such 
feelings. The parent should never lose sight of the 
following facts : 

1. That the mind of a child begins to seek other 
occupation when one subject ceases to interest its 
feelings. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR THE SABBATH. 73 

% External objects make comparatively stronger 
impressions upon them than upon us. 

3. They regard and estimate many things dif- 
ferently from ourselves. 

4. They place no constraint upon their expressions. 
And hence it follows, that, 

5. They betray their thoughts and feelings without 
disguise, which is in itself commendable. 

6.. As religious things are of far greater interest, 
when rightly presented, than objects around us or in 
the, street, it is our fault if we do not make them 
more attractive. 

7. Thoughts, questions and language, which might 
appear ridiculous or inappropriate in an adult,. may 
be sensible, appropriate and grave, in a child. • 

"I have often been led almost irresistibly to smile 
at expressions or ideas I have heard in a class of 
infant Sabbath scholars," a teacher once said, " when 
neither the speaker nor any of his httle companions 
we-re sensible of any thing ludicrous or inappropriate." 
Encourage a child to speak what he feels, and let him 
understand that you are seriously bent on leading him 
to useful knowledge by an intelligent course^ and you 
will enlist his own exertions, the powers of his own 
mind, in cooperation with you, without which you 
can effect nothing, and with which you may, in 
due time, accomplish what you desire. But, as 
has beea before remarked, the father must practise 
self-denial. He ' must sometimes stop at a point 
familiar to himself, to expilain it in full ; repeat the 
same thing over and over ; hasten by some subject 
which does not interest the child, though it be most 
■ 7* 



74 THE father's book. 

agreeable to himself ; and often change topics, style 
and plan, in compliance with feelings which nature 
has subjected to frequent change. 

There is one thing which the parent should always 
bear in mind, as it may guide him in many cases of 
instruction, and encourage his hopes, as well as enable 
him to perceive his success, in circumstances where 
he might otherwise be left in doubt, or consider his 
exertions as useless. Children are more prone than 
men to observe things in detail. They first notice 
objects near them, and devote their whole attention 
for a long time to such as are within their reach. 
They accustom not their eyes to look at a distant 
landscape, and have no ideas of the real size or nature 
of such things as they perceive afar off. It is very 
difficult to excite interest in them for a distant object, 
unless it be something like the sun, or moon, which 
forces itself upon their attention, or some extraordinary 
phenomenon which attracts other people in an uncom- 
mon degree. When we attempt to draw a child 
away to the contemplation of something beyond his 
sphere, nature seems to say, "allow him first to become 
perfect in the lessons appropriate to his age." And 
here I must introduce a few lines from an elegant 
passage of an English author.* 

" Take a child to a beautiful meadow, in which we 
ourselves may stand and gaze with transport from 
side to side. The green hue is delightful to a child's 
eye : but the prospect is too vast for his enjoyment. 
Let him run and gather so insignificant a part of the 
meadow's production as will fill his little hand : he is 

* Early Education, by Miss Appleton. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR THE SABBATH. 75 

transported with joy ; and has received, in his way, 
as full and exquisite enjoyment from a spot a foot in 
dimension, as we have from the space between heaven 
and earth, and from a rich scenery of miles." 

Now here is a most beautiful and affecting picture 
of the mind and feelings of a child acting according 
to the simple dictates of nature ; and the case suppos- 
ed is one admirably adapted to afford us many useful 
hints in our intercourse with our children. But I 
have introduced it here that I may apply it to that 
most important branch of education to which this 
,chapter is devoted : instruction in religion. While 
the father remembers that he is to present his subject 
in its own natural, interesting form, and that the feel- 
ings of the child, as well as his, must be engaged, let 
him ever bear in mind that the views of the little 
one cannot be the same as his own. He leads it 
into a scene abounding in beauty and sublimity, and 
presenting a variety and extent which he himself 
does not fully comprehend, but which he cannot sur- 
vey without admiration and pleasure. He cannot 
expect the child to participate in all his feelings, for 
it is incapable of appreciating the beauty of the whole 
system in one view ; but he can come down to the 
examination of the parts in detail ; and the art of 
finding interest in them, and of presenting them at 
the same time intelligibly and in their natural inter- 
est to the child, is a great secret in the instruction of 
the young. 

With these views, then, and thus prepared for his 
task, it may well appear a most interesting occasion, 
when the Sabbath arrives, in a well regulated family. 



76 THE father's book. 

and brings its own peculiar opportunities and facilities 
for religious instruction. It might be well, were room 
afforded, to enlarge upon the means by which the 
child may be interested and taught in all the scenes 
which the Sabbath presents, in the family and else- 
where. But many of them must be left to the pa- 
rent's investigation after a few remarks at the close 
of this chapter. 

It would be well if the father should cherish the 
idea that he is alwa3^s, but especially on the Sabbath, 
in a scene as much abounding in sources of pleasure 
as the richest meadow, or the richest natural land- 
scape: for the world is full of duties, and duties 
are sources of enjoyment to good men. Whether at 
worship or instruction, by the fireside or at table, in 
Sabbath school, at church, . or elsewhere, he must 
recollect that children are seeking knowledge, and 
are ready to learn and to feel, but in their own way. 

Let him impress himself also deeply with the fact, 
that the feelings may be, and often are, greatly abus- 
ed by persons ignorant .of the proper manner of adr 
dressing them. On this subject more will be said in 
another place, in speaking of death ; but here I will 
remark, that while some persons reward and others 
threaten or punish, children, to make them attend to 
religious instruction or observances, if they resort to 
these means habitually, and chiefly depend upon them, 
they greatly err. Still more to be discountenanced is 
the practice adopted by many, of rendering religion a 
subject of painful interest by exciting ill-defined fears, 
or other passions not necessarily connected with it. 
Pains should be taken to prevent any idea of gloom 



OCCUPATIONS FOR THE SABBATH. 77 

or harshness, from being associated with religion, its 
ministers or its professors. Instead of expecting to ex- 
cite painful interest by directing a child's attention to 
funerals, and recounting the sufferings of sickness in 
their hearing, expressing dread of death, or taking 
them without preparation to gaze on a corpse, the 
studious endeavor should be to show them, particular- 
ly by example, that Christians have triumphed over 
the fear and the gloom of death, and to fix their 
minds on the glorious scenes to which it will intro- 
duce them. 

In whatever the father is employed on the Sabbath 
amidst his children, he should do as he does while 
with them at table. While he is gratifying his own 
wants, he should be supplying theirs. He must not 
condemn them to total silence, nor expect them to 
understand or to take interest in all he speaks of to 
others, nor to sit comfortably or quietly on such seats 
as accommodate him, nor to possess the same control 
over their attention or their muscles. 

It should be an object of interest to the parent to 
prevent the Sabbath from appearing to the child as a 
day of gloom, listlessness, or unpleasant ceremony and 
restraint. If the parents have a cheerful piety, it will 
hardly be gloomy ; their looks and voices will spread 
pleasure among the little ones ; and I can suggest 
some further means for keeping children appropriately, 
agreeably, and profitably occupied, on the Sabbath. 
The common playthings of the week being all re- 
moved out of sight, let a set of Scripture prints be 
produced, of a superior style ; let a map of Palestine 
be hung where it may be seen, and let it be occasion* 



78 

ally referred to, so that Scripture apparatus, Scripture 
geography and biography, may take the place of 
other objects and topics. Books relating to other 
subjects should be carefully excluded and prohibited. 
There is but one line which can be drawn ; and this 
should exclude even those religious newspapers which 
are partly devoted to secular affairs, as they tenipt one 
to indiscriminate reading on the Sabbath, and allow 
an observer room for doubt whether the reader rs con- 
scientious or not. A Bible, and a variety of serious 
and useful books for different ages, may be cheaiply 
obtained at the present day, so that no parent, unless 
perhaps those in abject poverty, can be excusable 
for being destitute of a supply. Even such may be 
gratuitously furnished by some of the benevolent 
associations which have done so much for society. 

We read the descriptions and remarks of commen- 
tators, and examine drawings, to understand some 
passages of the Scriptures. We even show pictures 
to our children to aid their imaginations : why might 
we not resort to other means still more effectual ? 
We need not hesitate, while telling the story of Noah's 
flood to a httle child, to bring forth a little ark, and 
even to let him place the beasts in order, with the 
patriarch and his family at their head ; nor to answer 
his questions and allow him to handle them, so long as 
they serve merely as the means of illustration, but no 
longer. I would even perhaps, in some cases, launch 
the little ark in water, and let him see it float with 
all its contents, and should expect in this manner to 
convey more just and lasting ideas of that passage of 
Scripture, than in any other, if he had never sieen a 
vessel afloat. 



OCCUPATIOISS FOR THE SABBATH. 79 

It has often been said, that to forbid the use of all 
toys on the Sabbath would give a child a distaste for 
the day. Children value thair games and their play- 
things ^doubly v^hen they can be turned to some use. 
I would endeavor, by such expedients as these, to 
render some of them subservient to the highest objects, 
and inculcate in every way the idea, thSt the Sabbath 
is preeminently the day for improvement, for the 
employment of the mind, as well as the proper and 
deBghtful exercise of the affections ; and one in which 
children should be most truly Hke men. and women. 

Before a child reaches the period when we can occu- 
py its mind with what we might, perhaps prematurely, 
prefer, there can be no impropriety in giving it toys 
on the Sabbath. Older children however should be 
made to understand, that this is allowed only until 
the little one shall be able to understand the great 
and interesting things in which they are instructed. 

A few days since I had the pleasure of seeing a 
child to whom the Sabbath seemed to be " a delight." 
She was accustomed to a system of instruction and 
discipline nearly conformed to that which is recom- 
mended in this volume, particularly in relation to the 
Sabbath ; but the parents had felt some apprehen- 
sion lest she might have imbibed a dislike of the day,^ 
because she had often inquired what day was coming 
next, what next to that, &c. until she ascertained 
how near she was to the Sabbath. She inquired of 
her mother in the evening, " what day is to-morrow ?" 
" To-morrow will be Monday,^' was the reply. "I 
don't want Sunday to go and Monday to come," said 
she. 



80 

Music, being one of the regular daily pleasures and 
duties of the family, should form an important feature 
in those of the Sabbath. The parents should occa- 
sionally sing a hymn or a stanza, especially whenever 
any little collision occurs among the children, or any 
fretfulness is discovered. Evils of this kind may be 
counteracted* by calling them all to join in singing ; 
and harmony, with the accent and emphasis appro- 
priate to the sense, if carefully cultivated, will do 
much to prevent and subdue every unbecoming feel- 
ing. With due care two or three children may be 
trained to such familiarity with vocal music, as to 
sing what they have learnt almost unconsciously, 
when a single voice has begun it. And what an 
ornament is this to the fireside ! What a safeguard 
to the listlessness, indifference, frivolity and ill-nature, 
which should be ever prohibited from approaching it ! 
A parent should cultivate music around his hearth- 
stone as he cherishes the elm or the maple at his door, 
for the ornament and the protection it can afford. 

As children are often detained at home during the 
Sabbath, I would recommend that they be organized 
for instruction and worship, as in a Sunday School. 
Every thing of this kind pleases them ; and if con- 
ducted with propriety it will be no more puerile than 
the graver reahty is to their elders. Let it be under- 
stood that a disposition to play will suspend the em- 
ployment, and they will probably be attentive and 
serious. For a number of children, a little gallery, of 
two or three short benches rising behind each other, 
may be prepared as the Sabbath apparatus, or one 
which may be used on other days in a family school. 



OCCUPATIONS FOB THE SABBATH. 81 

This may be produced, ajid the little ones ranged 
upon it, when something like the following plan may 
be pursued." 

.1. A short prayer, 1 minute ; 2. Singing a hymn, 
5 minutes ; 3. A few miscellaneous remarks, direc- 
tions or inquiries, 2 to 5 minutes ; 4. A passage of 
Scripture read, with familiar questions, explanations, 
&c. on principles heretofore developed, 15, 20 or 30 
minutes, if attention is well kept up ; 5. Exercise by 
rising and sitting, marching to singing, or movement 
of the arms simultaneously, 5 minutes ; 6. A review 
of the lesson by questions, or a pleasing and instruc- 
tive story (true) by the parent or a child, 6 to 10 
minutes ; 7. Anot her prayer and hymn. 

Experience will soon enable the parents to make 
convenient and useful variations in such a plan ; and 
every experiment will prol)ably render the exercises 
more agreeable and instructive. The children should 
never lose sight of their destiny as Sabbath scholars 
and S.abbath-school teachers ; and should be allowed, 
as a mark of approbation, to j)erform the task of 
assistant teachers in the domestic, school. I would 
teach the eldest a prayer, and make him sometimes 
lead the little class in their devotions, kneeling with 
them, saying a few words at a time, and stopping for 
the others to repeat them. Such scenes in our infant 
schools are irresistibly affecting. 

Children should be made as comfortable as possible 
at church. They cannot comfortably sit long in one 
position, especially on seats made for persons of four 
times their size. We should never forget what " going 
to church" is to them. Let us be set on a table five 
8 



82 THE father's book. 

feet high and four feet wide, with high walls before 
and behind us, for three or four hours (for time also is 
longer to them), without permission to see or ability 
to understand ; certainly it would be poor comfort to 
tell us, after unspeakable fatigue and endurance, that 
we were so good we might go again in the afternoon. 
Children cannot keep from restlessness or slumber in 
such circumstances, and they should sometimes be 
lifted up, and laid down, and always kindly treated. 
If quite small, a few sugar plums may be taken to 
guard aga nst a turn of crying. If they cannot be so 
seated on a little high and narrow bench as to look a 
little about them, they may be allowed to stand on 
the seat for a short time, and occasionally be held up to 
see a baptism, the organ, or the choir. 

Some persons have thought it better to leave chil- 
dren at home, than to accustom them to hear impor- 
tant truths or solemn petitions without understanding 
them, lest they should contract a habit of indulging 
in wandering thoughts during divine service. But it 
must be remembered, that the habit of staying at 
home on the Sabbath is quite as dangerous, and that 
being treated as deficient in intelligence is one of the 
most effectual means for discouraging the use of our 
minds. We do not know what ideas a child may re- 
ceive from the sight of a congregation employed in 
worship, the solemn sounds of hymns and anthems, 
or the few words and ceremonies whose meaning they 
may perceive or conjecture. We do know, however, 
that they are secure, for so much of their time, from 
the neglect or bad example of nurses and other per- 
sons whom they might see, and the unbecoming 



OCCUPATIONS FOR THE SABBATH. 83 

amusements to which they are apt to excite each 
other when left at home. 

In short, the father will find, wherever he turns, the 
occasions and facilities for education abundant on the 
Sabbath, He cannot too highly appreciate the ad- 
vantages of this sacred day to his children as well as 
himself. And how will he admire the harmonious 
operation of the means which are thus offered for the 
improvement of himself and them ! How strikingly 
will he often see it proved, that every step taken for 
their instruction teaches him something worth know- 
ing, and that every pure feeling inculcated, and every 
good habit promoted, in the little ones, enriches his 
own heart, improves his own character and life I 
The more the Sabbath is contemplated in its influence 
and tendency, the more the wisdom is perceptible by 
which it was ordained and by which it is rendered 
effectual ; the better does he understand its nature, 
and the more readily can he avail himself of 
the advantages it affords in storing his children's 
minds, in training their affections, and in preparing 
them for usefulness and happiness. The more, in 
short, will he realize the force of that expression of 
our Saviour which was intended to apply to all classes 
and ages of the human race : — " The Sabbath was 
made for man." 

Religious instruction in the family is a very inter- 
esting, and in some respects a difficult, task. It is a 
pity that it should in any degree fall into neglect, or 
fail of being improved in its principles and plan, while 
Sabbath schools receive such merited attention. 
Every member of the household should be occupied 



84 THE father's book. 

in learning the Scriptures in some form suited to his 
capacities and acquisitions ; and instefid of having no • 
family system of instruction for the Sabbath because 
we have other opportunities for learning, we ought to 
take advantage of the aid which such oppQrtu.nities 
afford. 

Rising, therefore, rather earlier than usual, let the 
family be assembled with as little noise as possible, 
before 'breakfast. Proper arrangements should be 
made on Saturday, to have every thing possible ar- 
ranged for the Sabbath. Food should be prepared. A 
cold dinner is better on that day, because we are not 
so strongly tempted to eat much, nor thus exposed to 
drowsiness or dulness in worship. 

It is a very gond practice to give each member of 
the family a Bible, to require them to be kept care- 
fully in some particular place, and brought, to family • 
W'orship, aiid to make children and servants read the 
chapter selected with us, one or more verses each. 
it is also useful to make each person learn by heart a 
verse or more of the Bible every day, and to repeat ' 
what has been learnt "during the preceding day. 
Such things particularly instruct the yoring and ig- 
norant, and afford them real improvement. ; 

In some of the principal- cities of South America, 
some of the richest men kneel at church side by side 
with their slaves, as they say men of all classes are 
equal in the sight of God. It is certainly proper 
to treat domestics, at least when engaged in worship, , 
as if we were ourselves abased in the divine presence. 
Questions may sometimes be put from the Scriptures, 
to the family or to individuals, and remarks made ; 



OCCUPATIONS FOR THE SABBATH. 85 

but they should always be intelligible. Practice 
will give much facility in this part of the exercises. 
Singing is a delightful appendage of family worship ; 
and I think maybe advantageously used at the close, 
as it generally has a greater influence on the feelings 
of children than prayers not expressly designed for 
them. 

Many servants are desirous of learning to read and 
write, or of improving in those arts. These may 
sometimes be made the best means of conveying to 
them religious knowledge. They may be supplied with 
slates, and furnished with passages of the Scriptures 
to copy, by which means they may learn something 
in spelling, reading and writing, and important 
truths, at once. They may be requested to bring 
their slates to the evening service, or the afternoon 
instruction ; or they may recite the text preached on 
at church, or give some account of the sermon. The 
use of slates may seem unnecessary or inappropriate 
to some readers. The ignorant and young are not 
accustomed to continued abstract meditation. Ob- 
jects of sight, and hearing, and touch, are constantly 
attracting their attention. They have, besides, a 
natural propensity to be occupied : to perform some 
part in whatever they are expected to take interest. 
The wisest and oldest feel not a little of these traits 
of humanity ; and the services of the sanctuary, not 
to speak of the whole range of duty, are so planned 
as to afford each occupation. 

A child of about three years and six months once 
came in with a slate which it was accustomed to us^ 
on other days, and said, " Father, won't you please 
8* 



86 THE father's book. 

to write me something good this pleasant Sunday 
morning ]" The father resoh^ed to make an experi- 
ment, which he afterwards spoke of as successful. 
" What shall I write, my child'?" " Write a picture 
about the-Bible." He opened at the 1st. Chapter of 
Genesis, read a-, v^rse or two, and then stopped to 
draw figures of the earth, the sun and moon, grass, 
trees, plants, &c.' The child expressed great interest 
in it, and particularly in making more stars and grass, 
putting flowers and seeds on the plants, &c. Then 
came a variety of animals, fish and birds, the garden 
of Eden, the rivers, &c. In the ten minutes which 
this lesson occupied, the child obtained more correct, 
vivid, and lasting impressions, concerning the crea- 
tion, than the mere hearing of the story many times 
would have given. On the.,. following Sabbath, the 
child at the same hour made, a request to receive the 
same lesson. 



CHAPTER VIII. 



PLAYTHINGS, SPORTS, AMUSEMENTS AND 
EXERCISE. , 

They should be connected with something useful, .as far as possible 
— Exciting games to be avoided — Kites, connected with useful pi*n- 
ciples — Games of chance to be shunned — Small meehanical and 
agricultural tools for children — The care of domestic animals and 
fowls — Humane feelings thus to be fostered — A knowledge of natu- 
ral history, drawing, &c. to be substituted for cruel field sports-^ 
Walkmg — Riding on horseback — Health injured bj injudicious 
treatment at school. ; 

Playthings, sports, and games, should always be 
connected with some useful end, if possible ; and this 
can be done more frequently, more easily, and more 
effectively, than is commonly supposed. The first 
care should be to guard against every evil tendency. 
The time may come when good inen may devote due 
attention to the improvement of- toys and games for 
childreti : there is room for the exercise of much 
ingenuity, talent and learning, which if well exerted 
would produce great e-ffects. Until the toyshops and 
bookstores are better supplied, with objects appropriate 
to children, the good father must use his own judg- 
ment in selecting and inventing. It will be needless 
to warn most parents against the demoralizing 
amusements connected with cruelty to animals, imi- 
tating executions, &c., but the use of military toys is 



88 THE father's book. 

so common, that many put them into their children's 
hands without reflecting on their bad tendency. 

The principles of peace should be early and deeply 
implanted : otherwise we cannot pretend to have 
trained our children up in the principles of the Gos- 
pel. The example of our Saviour is the only one 
which we can place before our own and their eyes, 
without some caution against a perfect conformity. 
A friend of peace is of course a philanthropist ; and 
on them what a benediction is pronounced ! While 
we withhold toy guns, swords, and drums, from the 
hands of children, we must show an indifference to 
military shows, speak of them in their true light, and 
endeavor to afford them more attractive and harmless 
amusements whenever they occur. Particularly 
should they be trained to a different musical taste, 
and furnished with instruments of a different nature, 
more favorable to feelings of kindness and humanity. 
Games of all kinds Avhich offer room for powerful 
excitement should at least be watched over with 
caution. Some games at ball may partake of this 
character, a,lthough when used in moderation they 
may be very pleasing and useful. Kites, when flown 
without exposing horses to fright, or other risks, may 
be recommended for bo)^s of ten, twelve, or other 
ages. They lead to an acquaintance with an in- 
genious manufacture, if the children be left to make 
their own kites. They also introduce the young to 
the power, changes, and other properties of the wind ; 
direct the mind to the combination and resolution of 
forces, the strength and lightness of materials, and 
other subjects of great importance in mechanics and 



children's amusements. 89 

natural philosophy.; while they have little tendency 
to excite rivalry or animosity between playmates. 
" I reflect , on my kite-making and kite-flying days . 
with interest," once remarked a father — " Iremember 
the admiration I felt on arriving at some of the philo- 
sophical principles connected with the' s-ubject ; and 
the stimulus given to my ingenuity by the success of 
my experiments. I recollect the sublimity presented 
by the sky when I gazed at it after comparing the 
probable distance of the sun above my kite, and par- 
ticularly the awe which struck me when it had dis- 
appeared from my view one evening, while I stood 
holding the string, as the stars began to shine." Such 
impressions as these I should wish every boy might 
in some way or other receive. They are often lasting, 
and may be very useful even in manhood. • 

Games of chance, as they arie called, are dangerous, 
on account of the acrimony which they often produce, 
and the principle which renders them interesting — that 
of one's own success. This is a selfish feeling, and 
should be counteracted instead of being encouraged. 
Perhaps most of the gamblers in the world began by 
playing what ;are called the harmless games of 
chance. A youth was once early advised never to 
learn to play cards, and obeyed. -He had afterwards 
abundant reasoil to be thankful for a caution, and to 
approve the parental sagacity, which pointed out the 
manner in which his ignorance might in such a case 
prove useful. He was. sometimes solicited to. com- 
plete a card party, but found his excuse- was always 
sufficient : no one cov-eted the task of teaching' him. 

Chess has been often recommended for its influence 



90 THE father's book. 

in turning- the mind to attention, foresight, ingenuity, 
&c. It draws up the heart within a narrow sphere, and 
that a selfish one ; it occupies time with what is con- 
fessedly of no use ; and yet affords no relaxation, no 
aid to restore the wearied powers of the body or the 
mind. All these games have more or less of the 
same exclusive and narrowing influence on the feel- 
ings and the thoughts, and tend to satisfy one who 
is much devoted to them, with a very low standard 
of excellence. Who has ever known a skilful player 
at drafts, chess, ninepins, &c. without finding him 
disposed to underrate productive labor, intelligent 
reading and conversation, or something else of real 
value ] It is important to avoid the introduction ''of 
such games into a family ; for if the habit of playing 
them be not formed in early life, it is generally not 
formed at all ; and, when once a game is learnt, it is 
not easily forgotten, but the person will ever be ex- 
posed to contract a foolish devotion to it, and even to 
the further abuse of it by gambling. It will be the 
fault of the parent if the children ever feel the want 
of interesting subjects so strongly as to resort to such 
amusements : for the young may be said to have no 
predisposition for them. 

The principle of rivalry is to be traced in many 
other amusements, and is always to be avoided. 
Wherever it is found to be the moving spring of ex- 
citement, there will always be danger : indeed what^ 
ever children are stimulated to do, by the desire of 
victory alone, they should not be permitted to do at all. 
Many a youth is made a fop or a fool by riding or 



children's amusements. 91 

driving horses, to be seen and admired. If a game 
at ball becomes noisy, the judicious father will not 
delay to appear among the party at once, and pro- 
pose bathing, or the flying of a kite, or the exhibition 
of a camera obscura, or an excursion among the fields 
in pursuit of plants or stones, or at least to tell a 
" true story." 

A child may make, much progress in the elements 
of writing and drawing, if allowed to have a slate 
and pencil among its playthings, and occasionally fur- 
nished with a bit of smooth paper and a lead or colored 
pencil. He will make a great many marks, and 
go over the ground unaided which so many children 
have to go over at school. A great part of the art of 
writing consists in the practice of the hand. The 
forms of letters may soon be learnt after this has been 
acquired. In some schools slates are first given to 
writ-e upon ; and writing in sand with a stick or the 
finger is extensively and successfully practised in Lan- 
casterian schools. The New York city public schools 
excel in writing, because these methods are used in 
them ; and slates or blackboards and chalk may 
be well introduced into families. 

One of the best sorts of toys for boys is a set of 
mechanics' tools, beginning with the safest at four or 
six, — such as a little hammer and nails, beetle and 
wedges, gimlet, &c. with bits of wood, boards, blocks, 
&c. to use them on, and a glue-pot. A fine brass- 
backed saw, which is not apt to cause any injury, 
and is easily managed, may be added at a proper age, 
or a little saw and jack for sawing sticks of fire wood, 
a little plane, work bench, bevil, square and rule. 



92 THE father's book. 

Even brad-awls, a drill, augur, drawing knife, lathe, 
&c, may be provi'ded when it appears that they will be 
cautiously used ; and perhaps other tools besides. The 
art of staining, painting and coloring wood, may be 
inquired into ; and indeed almost any useful branch- 
of handicraft may be pursued at proper times and 
under proper restrictions. It will help to restrain the 
boy from wanderng in search of occupation, and 
exposure to bad company; and perhaps many limes 
the cost of the articles may be saved in consequence. 
A place to deposit them should be provided, and they 
should be kept in order. 

These are occupations chiefly for withindoors; 
and very delightful are tliey to a boy, as niany can 
testify. Boys arie too often forced to supply them- 
selves with tools, and become disheartened by the 
difficulty. I would recommend to fathers in the 
country, to furnish also agricultural employments for 
their sons. The care of domestic animals, fowls, 
&c. is the souiQe of much pleasure to children, and 
will be useful to them, especially if proper pains be 
taken by parents to render it so. It i? only by frequent 
personal inspection that we can form an acquaintance 
with the habits of animals; and this is a branch of 
knowledge important to us in several respects. On 
it we naust build our knowledge of zoology, as We 
must that of agriculture on our practical observations, 
acquaintance with the ground, its tillage and pro- 
ductions. If there are several brothers in a family 
of suitable ages, they may have diflfeieat branches of 
work, or daily cares, which may sometimes be exchan- 
ged, if desirable. Each one will thus realize his 



children's amusements. 93 

own usefulness, and find occupation for his thoughts, 
whenever otherwise unemployed. With a little wheel- 
barrow, spade and rake, boys will perform some useful 
work in a "garden or yard. Consciousness of useless- 
ness seems to degrade as well as to discourage the 
mind. Want of respectable business deprives a child, 
as well as a man, of such a refuge from vexations as 
we require. A child does not like to fret ; but will 
often turn to some new occupation to relieve itself of 
the painful irritation. It is, generally speaking, only 
when no attractive resort is presented, that it conti- 
nues unreasonable. 

" It would hardly be believed," said a gentleman, 
" if I should tell how much pleasure, and how much 
useful occupation for the mind, I found in going to 
pasture with a cow while a boy. I had a pleasant 
employment always waiting for me when I waked, 
rose cheerfully and early, breathed the fresh air, was 
invigorated by the exercise, cheered by the thought 
of doing something useful, had my feelings placed in 
a sweet state of tranquillity by the appearance of the 
fields, and the gentle disposition of the animal of 
which I had the care, while my mind was elevated by 
the aspect of the morning sky. I remember the feel- 
ings with which I used to say, ' I have been to pEis- 
ture !' There was more in these few words than I 
knew how fully to express, but not more than I could 
feel. Beside this, at different periods, generally at my 
own solicitation, I had the care of a horse, a calf, a 
few sheep, fowls of various kinds, pigeons, &c. Even 
feeding of pigs is better than doing nothing ; and so 
I found it, when, having become heartily weary of 
9 



94 THE father's book. 

having no employment in a city, I went to spend a 
few months on a farm at ten years of age, and was 
permitted to have this most humble charge." 

It is shocking to think what barbarities ate some- 
times committed by children, when led on to disregard 
and to make sport of the torments of the inferior 
animals. Every approach to this I would endeavor 
to prevent; and perhaps one of the best means is, 
early to familiarize children with domestic animals, 
fowls, &c. for which they will easily acquire a fond- 
ness. Their minds being directed to their wants and 
natures, they will learn what is likely to give them 
pleasure or pain, and by all this, feelings of humanity 
will be fostered. The farmer, who has the care of 
cattle, is generally the last person to distress a brute, 
and the first to feel for its sufferings, even if it be the 
property of a stranger. 

Probably some sportsmen are more attracted to the 
fields and streams by the beauties of nature than a 
love of destroying life : but the father should take 
care to provide his sons with the knowledge of nature 
in her various works, in which sportsmen are generally 
deficient. A little acquaintance with botany and 
mineralogy, even though the science of brutes, birds, 
fish, insects and shells, should not be understood, will 
afford ample occupation for a mind inclined to solitude 
and tranquillity : and a habit of sketching from nature 
will give an interest even to the most common scene, 
while it will redouble the enjoyment of wild and rural 
beauties. Walking is a cheap, natural and invigora- 
ting exercise ; and there is no good reason why we 
should not both esteem and practise it as much as the 



AMUSEMENTS. 95 

English. Riding on horseback is still more healthful 
in many cases ; and, when properly practised, one of 
the finest kinds of exercise for both sexes. Unfortu- 
nately it is almost disused among us now, except for 
display ; yet there can be no doubt that it is much 
more conducive to health, and usually affords many 
more opportunities of rational enjoyment, than the 
luxurious steamboats and railroad cars in which so 
many thousands are transported about our country. 
A timely journey on horseback to the White Moun^ 
t ains of New Hampshire, the Falls of Niagai'a, the 
West or the South, might prevent the necessity of 
many a winter's exile in a foreign land, where our 
nvalids are usually disappointed both in the climate 
and in the accommodations they find. 

Useful exercise then may be very cheaply used ; 
and as agreeable company is one of the strongest 
enhancements of a. pleasant ride, walk, or piece of 
manual work, the child should be early trained to 
sensible conversation while engaged in exercise. But 
as this subject is elsewhere dwelt on somewhat at 
large, it is only hinted at in this place. 

The health of many persons has doubtless been 
seriously injured, by their long confinement at school 
on inconvenient seats, by stooping over their desks, 
and the want of necessary bodily exercise. All this 
is avoided in good infant schools, and more or less so 
in those of the Lancasterian class. 



CHAPTER IX. 



AMUSEMENTS— conitwwerf. 



Witnessing useful labor — Learning useful arts — Instrumental music 
— Story of a boy who visited a fife maker — Manual labor. 

Boys should be permitted to witness the operation 
of various trades, and active, useful employments. 
More may arise from it than can possibly be foreseen. 
The mere mention of this subjefct may awaken in 
the minds of some fathers many very pleasant recol- 
lections. Boys have often enjoyed more than they 
can describe, while standing beside the turners, the 
carpenters, the masons, and stone cutters, &c. with 
whom they are brought in contact. What pleas- 
ant moments may they spend in wandering about 
the solitary but busy lofts of mills, or in watching the 
operation of the domestic loom in some retired hovel ! 
In the fine mornings, in Spring, they love to observe 
the movements of the fishermen with their nets, and 
rejoice with them in their prizes ; or to follow the 
ploughman through the fresh furrow, and hear his 
wisdom on crops and seasons. 

If I had no further object in view, than to secure 
agreeable amusement to the sons of those fathers who 
may read this book, I should feel that I was acting the 
part of a kind friend to them in recommending that 
such opportunities should be allowed to children. In- 



children's amusements. 97 

deed, I would recommend that they should be studi- 
ously thrown in their way. And many objects may 
sometimes be connected with these. Suppose a 
father wishes to introduce his son to a poor, but well 
regulated mechanic's family in the neighborhood, to 
teach him respect for the honest and intelligent of 
another sphere in life. He perhaps may first show 
him some of the effects of his skill to inspire him with 
respect. Or the boy may feel interested in instru- 
mental music, and the father would make this dis- 
position subservient to an useful object. Most chil- 
dren, according to my recollection, feel inclined to one 
amusement after another, and will pay devoted atten- 
tion even to subjects apparently above their age, while 
the spirit of inquiry lasts. The reason why they do 
not more frequently employ themselves about matters 
of real importance, and such as occupy the serious 
attention of men, I believe is, that they cannot do it 
without appearing to encroach upon the sphere cf 
their elders, or because they are allowed no opportu- 
nity or means for becoming acquainted with it. The 
taste of a set or society of boys is apt to run together. 
Some commanding member occasionally suggests 
or presents a new subject, in which they are apt all 
to engage until they become weary, or encounter 
some obstacle or discouragement. They incite each 
other by example, conversation, and cooperation. 
The favorite topic becomes a matter of consultation, 
plans and experiments, whenever the youthful com- 
panions meet, and employs their thoughts at home, at 
school, and sometimes in dreams. A powerful com- 
petition between different powers is thus often created, 
9* 



^8 THE father's book. 

favorable to the developement of talent, which if 
properly directed, may be led to useful ends. Misap- 
plied, robbing orchards or hen-roosts, playing truant, 
and all the corrupting and dangerous consequences 
connected with juvenile criminality, are to be appre- 
hended. This particular point however deserves a 
separate consideration. We may suppose the interest 
of a boy strongly awakened about music. He grows 
fond of sweet sounds, and desires an instrument with 
which he can produce them. 

Multitudes of children have displayed much inge- 
nuity on dandelion stems and squash vines, by making 
two or more accord, or by cutting holes in them in 
imitation of a flute ; and then, unable to proceed 
farther, have renounced the musical art thus far suc- 
cessfully and creditably pursued. Perhaps the joint 
of a reed has been converted into a wind instru- 
ment, by some exercise of ingenuity and perse- 
verance, equal to that which would enable a man to 
build a house or a ship. 

Let us suppose a boy who has gone through these 
grades. He is shown a fife ; and on comparing its 
finished appearance and effects with his own work, 
secretly admires the superior pow'ers of a man. He 
endeavors to imagine how so surprising a w^ork could 
have been accomplished; and having had no saga- 
cious and kind friend to take him to a workshop, has 
no idea of the tools or processes by which any similar 
task can be performed. He seeks some material of 
which to form an imitation ; and what use may he 
find for his judgment, observation and perseverance,-, 
before he obtains his desire in respect to this or to the 



AMUSEMENTS. 99 

manner of employing it ! Now suppose him to have 
discovered the refuse materials of a fife-maker. He 
finds none suited to his purpose, but observes the 
marks of tools upon them, which satisfy him that the 
man has means at his disposal of which he can form 
no idea. Here he attempts to judge from effects to. 
causes, which is an improving exercise to the mind. 
At length he gains access to the shop, observes the 
logs of box wood as they first come in the hands of the 
manufacturer ; and the various tools and furniture, some 
of which he sees in use, and of others he for a time is 
left to conjecture the application. He stands atten- 
tive, and speechless. A child is almost always so in 
such a case. The mind is engrossed with learning 
through the eyes, and has no use for the tongue, feet 
or hands. Here is agreeable and beneficial employ- 
ment for the mind for a considerable time. You do 
do not hear his conjectures at the use of this or that 
tool, but it is not of course to be presumed that he 
has made none. He perhaps sees some strange 
instrument, which he had supposed to be of no use, 
suddenly called into requisition to perform some duty, 
short and occasional perhaps, yet indispensable, and 
makes no exclamation of surprise or gratification : 
yet he may experience both in a high degree. A fife 
is finished, and he sees that he can understand the 
whole process, which he admires from beginning to 
end. Here are thought and skill displayed in 
every step : evident, deep thought, and admirable 
skill. He is no longer obliged to look upon the work 
as above his comprehension, or inimitable by him. 
On the contrary, every remark he makes encourages 



100 THE father's book. 

him to extend his inquiries still farther, and to redou- 
ble his exertions in the task he so rudely began. Ho 
sees that this wonderful effect of skill has been owing 
to the patient exercise of exactly such powers as he 
possesses, and has been exerting, and for a time feels 
able to accomplish any thing within the reach of 
human power. 

It is not to be wondered at, that every thing con- 
nected with the scene of so much enjoyment should 
appear to him agreeable ; the mechanic, his man- 
ners, his cheerful song, his light step, the sound of 
his tools, and particularly of the instrument he has 
fabricated. His mind dwells upon these discoveries 
perhaps for days and weeks. He makes new experi- 
ments : but finding from time to time that he has 
superficially observed one thing after another, he 
seizes frequent opportunities to inspect the apparatus 
over and over again. At length he has become mas- 
ter of the principles of the lathe, as well as of more 
simple machines ; and now, who can reckon up the 
labors or the success of his mind in its reiterated re- 
marks and reflections, and the importance of such a 
process of spontaneous self-training ; or who can 
foresee the results to which this knowledge and this 
elf-discipline may conduct him? The mind is so 
complex in its structure, that the associations formed 
in the midst of these circumstances, it may be impos- 
sible to discover ; but whoever is acquainted with 
the infantile mind, will perceive that they may have 
been very importannt. 

The boy may possibly succeed in finishing some 
coarse instrument like a fife, on which he can play. 



children's amusements. 101 

It will of course be inferior to one of the manufac- 
turer's ; but he will question whether any body could 
make a better fife with his tools ; or he will inquire, 
who could not make a complete one in the shop. 

It is a mistaken idea which some people have, that 
the prying disposition children often show with re- 
spect to the employments of men and women, arises 
merely from foolish curiosity, or a meddlesome or 
ambitious spirit. The young too are often unjustly 
charged with evil or mischievous designs, in handling 
or trying experiments with objects whose nature or 
uses they do not comprehend, or wish to test. 

There is another view in which this subject may 
very properly be regarded. Children are often de- 
sirous of understanding the springs of society. They 
see a variety of movements carried on around them, 
by their elders and parents, in which great interest 
is displayed, and the results of which they perceive 
are sometimes satisfactory, sometimes productive of 
disappointment, and sometimes of great pleasure. 
Here is a constant source of curiosity presented to 
them ; and their wish to understand why these things 
are regarded as so important, what those exertions 
are aimed at, and what they effect, is a perfectly 
reasonable one, and should be gratified as far as may 
be. It would give a child an unfavorable, or at least 
a suspicious opinion of a parent's character, to see 
him occupied daily and yearly about something of 
no good, or possibly of an evil tendency ; but a child 
is liable to consider his father's employments as being 
of such a nature, if he is not instructed in them. I 
knew a boy who for some years was inclined to be- 



102 THE father's book. 

lieve that his father's , profession, that of law, was 
inconsistent with the character of an honest man, 
because he had heard it misrepresented, and did not 
understand its nature. How much influence may 
a parent thus sacrifice, ignorantly perhaps, through 
want of giving a few simple explanations on the cir- 
cumstances of life, and the nature of a profession or 
trade ! Besides, a child, early initiated into some of 
the grand principles of society, the mutual depend- 
ence of mankind, the true tendency of sloth , and 
labor, the modes and means of displaying virtue, 
&c, &c., has great advantages in arriving in due 
season at maturity in judgment on important sub- 
jects. His mind is not checked by encountering 
seeming mysteries on every side, and is not forced 
into the conclusion that things go on in society 
without settled rules^ or fixed designs. The contrary 
belief is calculated to accustom him to acting with- 
out method, and living, as it were, from hand to 
mouth, on the employments and enjoyments which 
he finds presented from day to day. May we not 
account for the useless lives and the frivolous occupa-; 
tions of many of the children of rich parents, partly • 
on this principle 1 The poor become introduced to 
an acquaintance with some of the moving springs oif 
society by necessity. They see and feel the value of I 
useful labor : work is paid for on the spot ; and they 
run with the money to buy bread. Sometimes, while 
very young, they hear of the difiSculty of obtain- 
ing money, the uses to which it might be applied, 
&c., and are often better prepared to act upon 
souM principles of what is called political economy 



children's amusements. 103 

at ten years of age, than others are at twenty, or 
even at threescore. 

An acquaintance with different trades and pro- 
cesses in common life, is of importance also, even ^to 
one who nevei* resorts to the practice of them, as 
furnishing him with useful practical facts, and materials 
for conversation. How often questions relating even 
to common operations arise in intelligent society, 
which it would be interesting or useful to solve ; and 
how often are miscalculations made in important 
concerns, through errors in the ground on which our 
presumptions are founded, as the cost of materials, 
the wages of labor, the enhancement of value caused 
by manufacture, the principles on which the supply 
and price of ah article affect each other in market, 
and other points innumerable. / 

. But to return to our little fife-maker. He began 
his career merely by singing, and was led by a natural 
progress to seek as a more convenient substitute for his 
voice, an instrument which would correctnotes by ame- 
chanical operation. This he was gratified to find in the 
hollow vegetable stems around him ; but aiming at great- 
er perfection he was brought to an acquaintance with 
a variety of materials, tools, and processes, till his mind 
was stored with many useful facts, and improved by 
many strong and successful exertions. In subsequent 
years, whenever his thoughts turned to music, he 
found the benefit of the attention he had so early paid 
to harmony; when any curious specimen of work- 
manship was presented to his view, he reverted to 
the various' planes, saws, hammers, lathes, &c. which 
might have been used in making it, some of which 



104 THE father's book. 

he had become acquainted with at the fife-maker's ; 
and when the hardness of any kind of wood, or the 
qualities of metals were to be considered, he often 
inquired of himself how they would probably have 
yielded to the tools he had there seen employed. 

It might be needless to carry this subject farther. 
This simple anecdote is not a mere fiction, as might 
be supposed : the circumstances mentioned actually 
occurred some years ago in a country town, and the 
author well knew the little boy alluded to in early 
and later life. 

Children must always be learning, as well as men. 
This is a truth to be remembered. To provide them 
with harmless occupations and subjects of attention, 
is very important : and if we can, at the same time, 
give them such as may prove useful in several differ- 
ent ways, the object is still more important. In Spain it 
has long been the fashion for men of wealth, and even 
rank and title, to educate their sons with a knowledge 
of some branch of useful labor, that they might, un- 
der any reverse, be able to procure an honest support. 
And how much misery might have been saved to 
unfortunate men and their families, as well as how 
many gloomy anticipations to such as have apprehen- 
ded poverty, if they had had it in their power to em- 
ploy their time in some honest art, and earn the means 
of life. 

I might even appeal to fathers who desire most of 
all to have their children provided with wealth. 
Would you think it a very desirable object to secure 
a sum of money for your son ? Perhaps it might be 
lost by some accident, or squandered, if he had no 



children's amusements. 105 

regular occupation for his time, or no experience in 
gaining money to teach him its value. Have you 
ever reflected sufficiently on the pecuniary worth of a 
trade which brings in ^300 or $600 a year 1 The 
former is as good as $5,000 at six per cent, interest, 
and the latter as $10,000. The employment of an 
industrious man also inclines him to economy, regular 
habits, self-improvement, philanthropy, and in many 
other ways hedges in his path against vice, poverty 
and sorrow. " The man," says the Jewish Talmud, 
" who does not teach his son some mechanical trade, 
is as bad as if he had taught him to be a highwayman." 
And by much higher authority than this we are 
taught to regard useful labor in all its forms, with 
respect. One would think that the example of some 
of the holy men and women of the old Testament, 
and that of the apostles and the Saviour, would have 
impressed this subject more generally upon the minds 
of Christian parents than we find it has. But no : we 
too generally regard it both as useless and impossible 
to teach a child a business which he is not likely to 
practice ; and, what is much worse, we often counte- 
nance the idea that the knowledge of it, (especially if 
a thorough knowledge,) would be disgraceful. Such 
false notions children do not possess except when 
they have derived them from their elders ; and if we 
would allow them to follow the bent of their inclina- 
tions in regard to this subject, we should often do them 
a present kindness, and a lasting benefit. We should 
avoid the necessity of punishing them for offences 
which we sometimes almost compel them to commit, by 
withholding agreeable occupation from them ; and at 
10 



106 THE father's book. 

the same time store their minds with good habits, 
and useful facts for future use. 

Boys should be educated with a practical acquaint- 
ance with manual labor, and a respect for the employ- 
ment, and for those, otherwise deserving of respect, 
who are devoted to it. 

Almost every fathier may find opportunities to per- 
form some kind of useful labor, at least occasionally, 
in the presence of his children. If he can do it daily, 
it will be the better for his own health and enjoyments, 
and for the recommendation of it to them. Let them 
see that you esteem it respectable, agreeable and use- 
ful, and you have already prejudiced them in its fa- 
vor. If, on the contrary, you neglect it, or proceed 
to it occasionally with reluctance, or with an unwil- 
lingness to be seen engaged in it by others, or under- 
rate such as perform it, all your arguments in 
its favor will be weakened or lost on them. 

All know very well how opposed are the views and 
practices of fashionable people to real work, and how 
unwilling many parents will be to listen to such ad- 
vice for their sons ; but observation teaches us too 
plainly what are the effects on the body, mind and 
heart, usefulness in life, and enjoyment of various 
kinds, for us to pass over so important a part of the 
education of children. Children are fond of work, 
and will often feel truly grateful to those who will 
place simple agricultural or mechanical implements 
in their hands. They will not work always, perhaps 
not long or regularly : but they will return to it fre- 
quently, and may both do and gain good by their la- 
bors. We may fairly judge of others by what we can 
recall of ourselves and our associates. 



children's amusements. 107 

I once knew a boy who was allowed to spend 
his hours out of school in such harmless sports as he 
chose. But though with his playmates daily, he of- 
ten was pained with the reflection, in the midst of a 
game, that there was no useful permanent object to 
be gained by it; and this was often so bitter a reflection 
to him, especially towards the close of the week, when 
he looked back on his past amusements, that he was 
ready to renounce his sports in disgust. It was an 
opinion he expressed in mature life, that if he could 
have had access to some means of doing useful work, 
his feelings would often have inclined him to employ 
them, and thus he might have accomplished a great 
deal during his early years. 

If this opinion is confirmed by any father, on recur- 
rence to his own experience, he will probably deem it 
an object of interest to provide useful work for his 
children. Daughters are usually better furnished on 
this score than sons : that is, they may more easily 
find useful employments and healthful exercise. It 
would be a happy thing for many boys, if they could 
resort at pleasure to some substitute for needlework 
and knitting, which have made many an evening 
pass in usefulness and peace, without interrupting 
conversation and reading ; or if their time could be 
as systematically divided as theirs is by domestic 
cares and healthful labors. Happy would it be also 
for females, if foolish fashion did not so extensively 
lead mothers and daughters to look on such employ- 
ments as degrading, and to make them give place to 
the more truly degrading employments of heartless 
and frivolous society. 



CHAPTER X. 



FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 



The knowledge possessed by children — Allowance to be iiiade foy 
their ignorance of language, irritability, &c. — Corporal punish- 
ments — Punishments in general — Regular hours and habits— Dan- 
gers of young men — Precautions. 

With respect to the government or discipline of a 
family, some important points are to be regarded. 
Almost every other plan will be thwarted if there is 
not a proper submission to authority. And this will 
not be secured where it is not properly exercised. 
This cannot be said to be done where children are 
treated as if they were different beings from what 
they are. Some parents err by presuming that their 
children know less, or more, than they do ; or have 
worse or better dispositions than they have ; or less 
or more command over their minds or feelings. Some 
place too much reliance on force, others on kindness ; 
some change their plans frequently, others have no 
plans at all, but notice or pass over faults, blame and 
approve, according to their own feelings at the moment. 
Many unteach by example faster than they instruct 
by precept. There are several points which ought 
to be particularly regarded. 

In respect to such things as come fairly within the 



FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 



109 



scope of their minds, children are often equal, and 
sometunes superior, to men, in forming clear and just 
opinions. By noticing the actions, looks and words 
of their elders, they frequently show great sagacity in 
penetrating motives and discovering inconsistencies. 
It is therefore hazardous to attempt to appear under 
any disguise in their presence ; and very unsafe to 
calculate much on their want of knowledge or dis- 
crimination. Their power of distinguishing between 
right and wrong, in circumstances not above their 
comprehension, is generally more clear and unbiassed, 
than that of older persons. Their perception of the 
nature of truth, is often astonishingly exhibited : for 
the Almighty has conferred upon them a lively con- 
science^ and they have not 5^et warped or deadened it 
by intercourse with the world, or frequent violations 
of duty. A. parent should never presume that a child 
can be ignorant of the nature of falsehood, or the dif- 
ference between it and truth, in a plain and simple 
case, unless he has been accustomed to hear fictitious 
tales narrated as true, or encouraged to fabricate 
them for the amusement of others. I have seen cases 
in which I thought children had been thus led to 
confound truth and falsehood. With regard to the 
ignorance of children ; of a thousand causes and 
effects, tendencies and consequences, which are 
obvious to us, they are ignorant. It is also important 
to bear in mind their imperfect acquaintance with 
language. The purport of words is often different as 
used by adults and by children ; and there are multi- 
tudes of which the latter are necessarily ignorant. I 
have often listened to the conversation of older per- 
10* 



110 THE father's book. 

sons while a child, without the power of discovering 
the subjects of which they were speaking. 

" I have repeatedly found," once remarked a man, 
recurring to his early years, " the questions or require- 
ments of my elders and teachers entirely unintelligible, 
on account of some unknown word, so introduced as 
to cause a chasm in the sense ; and I can recall in- 
stances in which I have been supposed to be wilfully 
perverse, because I did not answer questions or obey 
directions which I could not comprehend. Children, 
I am persuaded, are often greatly at a loss for words, 
when they wish to give explanations of their own 
conduct or intentions. I have suffered exceedingly 
when young from this cause. I have been agitated 
at school, by a sudden inquiry, or a frown, or a threat, 
or a false suspicion, and rendered unable to give any 
intelligible explanation. Words sometimes escape 
the memory of a child, which he has before used ; 
and especially is this likely to be the fact in a state of 
agitation. 

" I may add here, that some boys have an insupera- 
ble natural difficulty to overcome, when particular 
feelings are strongly excited ; and instead of being 
fit subjects for punishment, deserve compassion, and 
peculiarly judicious treatment. I can hardly recal 
any thing with more painful recollections, than such 
scenes which I have passed through. A choking 
sensation was suddenly to be felt in my throat, which 
I presume must have been produced by a spasm, and 
my utterance was effectually checked. Every rriethod 
resorted to to force or to shame me into a confession, 
or a promise of obedience, or indeed anything else, 



FAMILY GOVERNMENT. Ill 

seemed but to increase the difficulty ; and every 
exertion I made to overcome it, both discouraged and 
weakened me ; while, by increasing the excitement 
of my feelings, it added still farther to the distressing 
impediment. My breath was often so nearly sup- 
pressed, , that I have had serious expectations of 
losing it entirely ; and the pain in the chest and the 
laboring of the lungs seemed to bring me to the bor- 
ders of convulsions. Indeed I can well recall cases 
in which I have been reduced to such a state of suf- 
fering, that I was indifferent to every measure resort- 
ed to or threatened ; and nothing was necessary but 
strength, to have led me to some deed of violence to 
rid myself of those who were unconsciously only my 
persecutors. Whenever I see an irritable child 
brought to this condition in the streets, I am filled 
with compassion, and always interfere for his relief." 
I have said so much on this subject, because, from 
what I have seen, I am disposed to believe, that 
many an excitable temper is almost ruined by inju- 
dicious treatment ; and to persuade fathers who have 
such sons to be very cautious in their disciphne. — 
Never press such a feeling beyond a certain point. 
When the veins swell, and the breath becomes vio- 
lently impeded, when the chest heaves with an un- 
natural force, and the voice is lost, pity the poor boy, 
who may have done wrong in giving way to passion, 
but has now a physical cause acting upon him which 
he cannot resist, and who would gladly submit to 
any thing to relieve himself of an intolerable distress. 
Change your method at once; let him know that 
you understand his situation ; sooth and divert him ; 



112 THE father's book. 

remove him especially from the observation of others, 
and the spasm, (for I can call it nothing else,) will 
subside. Then you may calculate on his gratitvide. 
He will probably be submissive to every thing rea- 
sonable. You may also take occasion to represent 
to him the ill eifects of not habitually governing his 
temper ; and whenever you see it rising in future, 
caution him in season to control it before it gets the 
masteiy over him. 

It is of great consequence to every person through 
life, to believe that he can control his passions ; and 
whatever child is brought up in the belief that, when 
suddenly excited, his anger must have way, will 
be a dangerous member of society. ' .Such ideas are 
entertained by numbers, in whom they prevent any 
attempts at self-control. In the temper, perhaps as 
much as in any things we are influenced by the ex- 
amples we see in early life.' 

"When I first feel angry," once said a passionate 
boy, *' I am not afraid of any body; and I would 
strike my father if he stood in my way — it is natural 
to me— I can't help it ; my father was just so too." 
This boy in a few years was brought to the grave by 
a vice which ordinary self-government would have 
prevented. 

Corporal punishments, as most parents will allow, 
should be but seldom inflicted. While their eflicacy 
has been overrated by manyi and underrated by some, 
they are undoubtedly often made worse than none at 
all ; and j^et they are capable of being used, in partic- 
ular cases and in a proper manner, with good results, 
when other means have failed. The Scriptures rep- 



FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 113 

resent punishment as a strange work to our Heavenly 
Father. Every judicious parent will endeavor to 
render punishment of any kind unnecessary ; but yet 
will not shrink from administering it when duty impe- 
riously requires. A vast number of punishments of 
all kinds might have been spared to children, by pro- 
per attention in consulting their wants and comforts ; 
and many which have been injudiciously applied, had 
better never have been resorted to. 

1 . A young child should not be punished for every 
fretful expression. Soothing words, an embrace, a 
new and pleasant object of attention, will often sup- 
press rising irritability ; and against the first appear- 
ances of evil the parents should be ever watchful. 
These are the young shoots of disaffection, anger, ha- 
tred, violence, disobedience, profanity and murder, and 
should be suppressed as early as possible. Some pa- 
rents seem to think, that the evil passions are most 
effectually destroyed, by exciting them in their chil- 
dren, or allowing them to proceed to a great length, 
and then applying some severe punishment. It would 
be far better, if we could keep the young from ever ex- 
riencing these violent emotions, and habituate them to 
quench the first stirrings of bad temper. The child 
must be his own chief disciplinarian through life, and 
the art of self-government must be taught him, as a 
regular part of his education, and that both by precept 
and example. Not a hasty expression, not a step, nor 
a motion,' nor a look, ought ever to be seen in the 
parent, indicative of passion. The constant study of 
a model of self-possession in a father, or a mother, will 



114 THE father's book. 

do more to control the temper of a child, than any 
series of punishments. 

2. Every instance of disobedience should not be 
punished, though every wilful refusal to obey a parent 
should be. I can give my views on this point best 
in the language of a highly respected friend. " I 
once thought," said he, " that instantaneous obedience 
should be required of my children : but I found that 
the little ones could not be brought in every instance 
to comply at once with my commands. If I say 
' pick up that key,' to a child of three or four, while 
engaged with something else, it will often stand and 
look at me : ' pick up that key '—it stands still — ' pick 
up that' key' — the third or fourth time, it may be, I 
am obeyed. Now is this wilful disobedience *? The 
child looks at me, from first to last, without passion, 
and perhaps even with smiles and confidence. No — 
I think rather that its mind is occupied with another 
subject, and does not .readily change it. Besides, a 
•child is sometimes uiiable to discover, whether the 
parent is in earnest or in sport, and its own feelings 
strongly incline it to the latter. If, however, after 
time has been given for it to fix its attention, and to 
perceive that I am in earnest, it proves stubborn and 
resolute in disobedience, I calmly warn it against the 
evil spirit that is rising, its tendency, the oflfence 
against God and myself; and the punishment that 
must follow ; and last of all comes the puriishment. 
With an older child I should make less allowance, 
especially if I had trained it properly before." 

3. The most harsh punishments are not of course 
the most effectual — often quite the contrary. A child, 



FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 115 

gently trained by a gentle parent, receives the 
most poignant wounds through the heart. I have 
seen a- slight expression of disapprobation from such 
a parent produce a flood of tears in a young child ; 
and many instances are on record, in which the mild 
reproof pr the silent tear of a good parent, has pierced 
the feelings of much older children. The love of his 
parent and his Maker should be the leading strings 
of a child, and the fear of losing it a sufficient motive 
to deter them from evil. When these fail, however , 
as they often will, especially while parents are far 
from perfection in exercising government, punishments 
must be resorted to, and gratifications must be denied ; 
as by the removal of playthings, confinement to a 
corner, to a room',' or in fine weather, to the house, 
temporary banishment from the table, or the society 
of playmates. These, and the denial of instruction 
on gome interesting subject, may be resorted to, and 
should be successively tried, with well-timed expos.tu- 
iations, and friendly exhortations to struggle ag-ainst 
the evil propensity. The- child should be taught that 
all persons have wrong feelings by nature, but that 
they may be overcome, with great exertion, and the 
help of God; that the parent has thus overcome 
them, and that such and such good people have resort- 
ed to such arid such means with success. Every 
favorable oppbrturiity should be taken to read to the. 
child in the Scriptures, to pray with it, and induce it 
to pray for itself ; and the knowledge that it is ardently 
and affectionately prayed for, will be very likely to 
melt it into penitence. After the feelings have been 



116 THE father's book. 

soothed by means like these, even if the temper be 
not entirely subdued, it may be well sometimes to 
allow the child to retire, and engage in some tranquil- 
lizing employment ; or to fall asleep, which will 
probably restore that self-control which he has perhaps 
hardly strength to exercise after this agitation. 

4. Nothing should be used as a punishment which a 
child ought to like, or ought readily submit to in other 
circumstances. " If you do not say your prayers," a mo- 
ther was heard to say to her httle daughter one even- 
ing in a steamboat, " you shall take a dose of castor oil 
and salts !" Many parents injudiciously shut chil- 
dren in dark or lonely places, when they have super- 
stitious fears, or are likely to have them. Such rem- 
edies are worse than almost any disease : I mean, a 
resort to them is more dangerous, than the neglect to 
punish common offences. 

5. Corporal punishments are sometimes neces- 
sary, but they lose their effect by frequent application 
and at the same time deaden those feelings which 
should be fostered. They should produce short but 
real pair*. A blow with the hand upon a child's head 
may stupify without stinging, and may produce last- 
ing injury. The bones are tender and small, and a 
light rod is safer than the hand. Whether corporal 
punishments should be inflicted on the spot, or after 
some delay, has been debated. They should ne- 
ver be inflicted by a person in a passion. I have 
heard of a child of three, corrected with much ap- 
parent effect, after a lapse of some hours, an admoni- 
tion and a prayer, with acquiescence on its own part, 
because it had done what such punishment had be«n 



ii 



FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 117 

threatened for. I would however seldom threaten 
such whipping ; for in such a case it might have been 
dispensed with but for the threat. The long antici- 
pation of such punishment increases its severity many 
fold ; so that it may thus become greatly dispropor- 
tioned to the offence. When however the offence 
has been very aggravated, such an enhancement of 
it may be most judicious. 

6. Children should be obedient — must be obedient, 
habitually and cheerfully so, or they cannot be well 
educated in any respect. 

7. Habits of truth and honesty, of reverence for 
parents, the aged, and especially for the Almighty, 
should be most sedulously cultivated, and insisted 
upon. Any plain violation of such rules should be 
noticed and dwelt upon as a thing of great moment — 
an offence not to be overlooked or slighted. The 
child should understand, by the earnestness and se- 
rious displeasure of the parent, that such practices are 
not to be tolerated, but perseveringly rooted out, un- 
der a solemn sense of duty to God. 

One of the greatest safeguards to the habits of 
children, and of course a good preservative of filial 
obedience, is a regular arrangement of time for differ- 
ent daily employments, fixed hours for retirement, 
and the habit of calling to account for the occupations 
of the day. As boys grow up, the importance of such 
regulations will probably be more plainly perceived. 
The most dangerous companions for a young man, 
are those who keep late hours. If a son knows that he 
is expected to be at home every evening, o.r frankly to 
acknowledge where he has spent it, and with whom ; 
11 



118 THE father's book. 

if he knows that the severity of parental rebuke would 
inevitably follow the first violation of family rules, he 
would scarcely venture to cross a boundary beyond 
which all is danger. A father who finds his son be- 
coming irregular in his habits, which is betrayed by 
an indifference to the pure enjoyments of a well 
regulated, intelligent and religious family, and a dis- 
like for his studies or trade, may make up his mind 
at once to act with decision : for timely and judicious 
measures will save him much trouble, as well as af- 
ford a fair promise of success. The youth must 
nt all events be separated from the companion or 
company who are beginning to mislead him, cost what 
it may. 

And, first, the parent will need to ascertain who 
those companions are, and at what periods his son is 
most exposed to their society. Then let him occupy 
that time with some engrossing employment ; or, if 
necessary and possible, even send him away for a 
time, in order to break off the intimacy. Under such 
circumstances travelling, either in our own or in for- 
eign countries, may prove highly useful ; especially 
if proper precautions are taken to secure the youth 
good companions and abundant interesting and useful 
employment. A long voyage with a good master 
and crew may sometimes effect much. The father 
must sustain his authority and control over his son, or 
he will expose himself and his family to a thousand 
evils. No trial, no self-denial, no exertion or sacrifice 
need be thought great, which will reclaim a youth in 
the early stage of disobedience and inclination to vice. 
With the lax discipline, and lax views of duty, fash- 



FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 119 

ionable with many fathers of the present day, there is 
little probability of all such cases being treated with 
proper promptitude and energy ; but if the fond or im- 
becile parent knew how much greater suffering and 
labor he might thus avoid, he would be led to adopt 
the proper course out of regard to himself, as well as 
his son. 

Parental authority, and, of course, parental exam- 
ple, should be strongly set in opposition to intemper- 
ance, every avenue to which should be carefully 
closed. Incalculable mischief has been done by the 
toleration of ardent spirits in the house and on the 
table, even by parents who did not drink it. This 
pernicious practice has been now almost abolished 
among the virtuous and respectable ; and unequivocal 
testimony should be borne against everything of the 
kind by the parent on every befitting occasion. In- 
^ead of reflecting, as many a youth has done, on see- 
ing distilled liquors, " These were honored guests at 
my father's table," he should ever have reason to 
recollect that they were spurned from his home, and 
regarded with hatred and horror by the guardians of 
his youth. The subscribing of one's name as a 
member of a temperance society, will probably be a 
safeguard for a child, and weaken any temptation 
that may be thrown in his way. The entire rejection 
of all such drinks is the only safe principle to go 
upon : so that the parent should inculcate total ab- 
stinence, which means, as a little Sabbath-school boy 
once defined the expression—" never to take the fir^t 
drop.^^ 



CHAPTER XL 

INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 

Education begins early — Importance of domestic education, and our 
facilities for exercising it, especially in the middle and most sen- 
sible ranks of society — The father's instructions in conversation 
at table — The wonders of water — Other subjects. 

Many fathers never begin to talk much about what 
they call the " education" of their children, until 
they are old enough to be sent to a grammar or board- 
ing school, or to college. The sons and daughters are 
allowed to grow up till such a period, almost without 
hearing the parent use the word. But let not pa- 
rent or child suppose that education has not been 
going on all this time : no ; we might as well expect 
a stream to cease flowing because we have neglected 
to turn it into an useful channel. Education must 
go on : habits are formed, views are imbibed, feelings 
are daily strengthened by exercise, and if not right, 
all this will be wrong. 

We see parents, waking, as it were, from the slum- 
ber of years, to talk and act on "education." But 
what a childish figure they often make ! They are 
learning the alphabet of that language which they 
should long ago have spoken. They are apprenticing 
themselves to a business in middle life, which they 
should have daily practised from the infancy of their 
children. And of what use is it to bestir themselves 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION, 121 

now 1 Their children have been taught, by their 
example, great indifference towards learning, have 
imbibed many erroneous ideas about it and those who 
possess it, and have habits formed which their in- 
structors will contest against at a great disadvantage. 
I would by no means discourage the father who has 
neglected the subject hitherto, from attending to it 
now. I would however warn him against the very 
common practice of making it an object of attention 
only for a particular period, or for a few intervals in 
his life. Let him, from this time forward, bestow 
reflection and exertion upon it every day. And this 
he should do for the benefit which the habit will con- 
fer both upon his child and upon himself. 

It is greatly to be regretted, that while many pa- 
rents overrate the adva,ntages attending particular 
schools, or of merely going through a college, they 
underrate their own powers, and the opportunities 
which Providence has placed within their reach, for 
furnishing their children with much of that useful 
knowledge which literary institutions are designed 
to confer. A father should cultivate a respect for 
learning in his own breast, pay a proper regard to 
those who possess it, without abusing it, and daily 
inquire for and treasure up such useful truths as lie 
in his way. This he may do, greatly to his own 
gratification and improvement, whatever be his busi- 
ness or his situation in life ; and if he will add to 
this practice one very naturally arising out of it, viz. 
that of aiding and encouraging his children in pur- 
suing the same^ he will find by the results, that he 
lays the foundation for making them intelligent men 
11* 



122 THE father's book. 

and women. It is not saying too much to declare 
that a farmer, or a mechanic, or a day laborer, in 
ever so retired a situation in our country, by faithfully 
pursuing this course, may give his children more real 
knowledge, even of a scientific and literary nature, 
than some of the children of the wealthy carry with 
them from the institutions to which they are sent. — 
Indeed, more unfavorable circumstances can hardly 
surround a child, than those which are found in 
many of the splendid mansions of our countrymen at 
the present day, even in regard merely to their influ- 
ence on the mind ; and when we superadd the ten- 
dency of fashionable life to render youth irreUgious 
and vicious, we need not wonder that so many sink 
in society by the weight of their own ignorance and 
imbecility. 

In any family where the principles inculcated in 
this book are regarded, where industry, economy, 
prudence, peace and love, are in regular exercise, 
especially if piety be the controlling influence, let the 
pecuniary circumstances, the origin, the connections, 
the disadvantages of the parents, be almost what 
they will, their children will be trained in a way 
which has led many before them to high respecta- 
biUtj^, inteUigence and virtue. 

Children should be sedulously trained to appreciate 
objects according to their real importance and value ; 
and those who are most brought into personal contact 
with things as they are, have the best opportunity to 
acquire this important branch of knowledge. This 
is generally the case with the children of men in 
humble life ; while those of the rich are very apt to 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 123 

spend much time in manhood in correcting', by a 
course of painful experience, the erroneous opinions 
imbibed in early years. 

,;Let the father address himself to the task of edu- 
cation, by discarding- those rules, practices and meth- 
ods, which are founded on certain erroneous principles 
common in the world. Whatever his own teachers 
may have believed, whatever hegr his friends may have 
practised, he ought to determine that he will proceed 
on solid grounds ; he is imperiously called upon, by 
solemn duty, and the great importance of those re- 
sults to which his conduct will lead, to be judicious 
in deciding, and persevering in execution. 

"Do you love ta go to school T' is a great question 
which may be said to be habitually asked, by thou- 
sands of persons, when the child of a friend is intro- 
duced. It is. innocent in itself, yet it has probably 
led to many, a falsehood, and often brought upon 
those who have spoken the truth in reply, much un- 
deserved censure. Not to love a bad school is not of 
course a crime ; and how few are good! Many a 
school is of such a nature that no child v/ho loves to 
improve in knowledge and goodness can like it. " Are 
you at the head of the class ?" " No Sir," has often 
been givfen in reply to such a question with a sense 
of shame too great for every thing except the child's 
love of truth. "Edward is a good boy; he has the 
highest reward ; he is the best scholar in the school I" 
Oh, how untrue such conclusions generally are ! If 
measured by a fair intellectual standard, the highest 
in a class would often be found far behind some 
younger or more diffident child ; and as for moral 



124 THE father's book. 

character, the whole system of emulation is much 
more calculated to injure than to improve it, or to 
give real improvement to the mind. 

Such questions as those above, and innumerable 
other strokes (if I may so call them,) which are given 
durins" the slow work of education, are traceable to 
some of the common false principles, which time and 
general consent have rendered inveterate. Let the 
good father early consider their real nature and ten- 
dency, and not wait till bitter experience of their re- 
sults shall convince him of what he may learn too 
late. 

Miss Apple ton, in her work on Early Education, 
has happily remarked as follows : "We do not desire 
to present words but things to children. The words 
are the vehicle to convey a truth or an image to the 
place of its destination, which is mind. A gentleman 
waiting for a friend, would be somewhat surprised and 
vexed to see his carriage drive up to the door empty. It 
might be a very grand equipage, but this would 
be a poor compensation for the vacancy within. The 
mind in like manner, is continually on the lookout for 
the arrival of a friend. If words are pushed before 
it, it never fails, at first, to look earnestly within 
and without for the sense, which they should carry 
along with them. If this companion be wanting, the 
mind turns away in vexation and disappointment ; 
until, from being played the trick repeatedly, it becomes 
habituated to disappointment, and may then, perhaps, 
amuse itself with looking at the words : as an idle 
passenger gazes at an equipage, careless to whom it 
belongs, and of the merit of the owner. But, on the 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 125 

Other hand, the mind, rewarded for its watching and 
examination by the meeting with sense, where sense 
was expected to be found, joyfully receives and lodges 
the guest among ideas ; where, in so pleasant and 
friendly a company, new ideas are elicited, and im- 
provement is certain to follow." 

The great object of education should be the heart. 
If that be neglected, and certainly if it be corrupted, 
learning will still prove a powerful weapon, it is true : 
but its edge will be directed against what it should 
defend, and truth, virtue, character and parents, may 
become its victims. On the contrary, make the af- 
fections such as they should be, habits will spring 
from these, and knowledge, even if pursued for a 
time with little success, will then be sought, and will 
ever be applied to its proper uses. 

The Father's instructions in conversation at table. 

What can be easier, more agreeable, and instruc- 
tive, than the daily practice of conversing in some 
such manner as the following] The father may 
thus convey some useful facts to his little circle, 
without making them feel that they are performing 
a task. Instruction may be thus communicated 
which might be esteemed an acquisition even at 
college ; and yet the amount of knowledge conveyed 
will not be more valuable than the advantage gained 
by thus expelling friovolous topics, or ill-natured re- 
marks, from conversation, withdrawing the mind 
from the animal enjoyment of food, and training the 
children to make the time spent at table subservient 
to the cultivation of the social affections, and mutual 



126 THE father's BOOK. 

improvement. Let the parent duly estimate his own 
influence at table, and recollect that the heads of the 
family have all the table-talk at their direction. 

But I cannot proceed to give my examples, without 
first reminding" my readers that the table affords great 
advantages for the inculcation of gratitude to the 
Giver of good, and of those kind feelings and polite 
manners which should be carefully cultivated in the 
family. 

Suppose the good father at his table. The bles- 
sing has been pronounced with reverence, and the 
tone and language of real thankfulness, and the fami- 
ly are partaking of another supply of necessary food. 
The father perhaps has made a favorable bargain, or 
experienced a disappointment, or is thinking of hopes 
or fears, difficulties or injuries, such as the world is. 
full of. Let him form the habit of banishing such 
topics from conversation before his children, however 
much disposed he may feel to talk of them. Does 
he want a subject 1 — what useful fact, or creditable 
deed performed by another, or what public blessing 
have you heard of, since you last met your little 
family circle 1 Have you had no good thought which 
may turn your children's feelings in a pure and lofty 
channel ? — But you need not always seek a subject 
so far from home. 

The father takes up the glass of water beside him, 
holds it to the light, tastes it, looks at it an instant, 
and remarks — "How beautiful and clear that is ! If 
this were the only water ever sfeen in the world, what 
would people say about it ] They would think it 
very wonderful, and would go miles to see it. And 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 127 

what would they say about it, John ] (John and 
James and Mary may be questioned about its appear- 
ance and qualities.) Well, this water is just as beau- 
tiful and wonderful as if there were not clouds full 
and rivers full; and the goodness of God we ought 
to admire the more for sending us so. much. What 
is water good fori Which of you can tell me, my 
dear children 1 (To drink, to wash, " to swim in, to 
sail in, for fish to swim in, for horses to drink, for 
cows to drink, &c. &c. Children will often get 
much pleasure^ and show much ingenuity and mem- 
ory in tracing out such a subject.) Where does 
water come from when it rains ? Where does it 
go to when it sinks into the ground — or when it runs 
down hilll What is water called when it runs ? when 
much of it runs together ] when it stands still in a 
large hollow ? How do men get over water when it 
is in their way ? (By bridges, boats, ships, steam- 
boats, swimming, &c. ; any of w^hich may be en- 
larged on.) What lives in water 1 How can some 
animals live there while others will die if put into it 1 
How are they formed to hve in Water ? 

Maiiy siich questions may be asked ; indeed, when 
such ah interesting subject has been introduced, the 
children will make many questions and answers 
themselves, mingling them with little anecdotes of 
their own experience. Each will probably be found 
to have some factj or opinion, or conjecture, to ad- 
vance, new to. the others, and thus each will soon 
possess the view's of all. Now let the father, if he 
pleases, propose something for them to inquire about 
in relation to the subject of conversation, to here- 



128 THE father's book. 

ported upon, to-day or to-morrow ; and a course will 
be begun which in time may lead to important re- 
sults. The inquiry may be suited to circumstances, 
or several inquiries may be started, suited to different 
individuals. A little boy may like to know how 
much a particular animal or bird drinks, or how ; 
whether insects need water ; whence comes the dew, 
&c. An older may take interest in ascertaining, 
from some person acquainted with the ocean, the as- 
pects and dangers of the sea, the expedients of hu- 
man skill and science in navigation, or \vhat regions 
or people he has seen on the other side of the globe. 
All these, and a thousand other questions, which may 
grow out of so fertile a subject, are rational topics of 
inquiry ; and the young should have the means for 
satisfying their curiosity thrown in their way, and 
enjoy the approbation of their parents, when they dis- 
play interest, perseverance or intelligence, in relation 
to them. 

" Well, children, what was the question yesterday ?" 
How many a cheerful look, how many an intelligent 
and' gratifying reply might this simple question produce 
in the year, around that family table where it should 
be habitually asked ! Playmates, acquaintances, 
books, every source of information accessible to the 
children, would soon be under contribution, while 
their little minds would be daily proceeding, at least 
a little, in a path o f improvement in which every 
mind must travel, and travel by the exertion of its 
own faculties, before it can become stocked with 
knowledge or acquire the power of using it. A mind 
not trained to observation, is like an eye closed against 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 129 

the light. The first view it gets of the world is of 
course erroneous. A man unaccustomed to reasoning 
is like a person unused to the management of a keen 
instrument or a machine of unknown power. The 
first experiment with it is sure to be awkward, and 
is very likely to be injurious to himself or some other. 
Objects around us, perceptible to the senses, are proper 
subjects to employ the minds of the young. Ideas 
gained from them are just, distinct, and of evident 
utility, and therefore preferable to such as are less 
well defined and of doubtful application. 

The same general course of remark and inquiry 
which may be applied to water, may be extended to 
almost every other familiar object ; and on them all 
the parent can tell something useful, or direct the 
child to make observations of his own. Let not the 
father shrink from any detection of his own igno- 
rance. He must readily admit that he has not 
learned every thing, and this he may attribute to neg- 
lect or the want of opportunity. His example will 
render his children in like manner frank and humble 
of their acquisitions, and incline them not to under- 
rate a thing meiely because they are ignorant of it. 
The father may sometimes very properly say, " Now 

Mr. knows more on this subject than I do, and 

I will ask him to inform me of it ;" or, " I will look 
into a book, and read about this, and tell you at 
another time what I learn." 

The uses and manufacture of salt, bread, linen, 

knives, dishes, glass, soap, and other familiar objects, 

having been considered on different occasions, with 

the materials and manner of buildnig houses, fences, 

12 



130 THE father's book, 

carriages, &c. the father will find suBjects multiply- 
ing on his hands, aiid the amount of information 
collected rapidly increasing ; while he will have the 
gratifying reflection, that his children are getting still 
more knowledge than they communicate, and are 
fixing important habits for life. 

And it is important to bear in mind, that when any 
particular branch of instruction is pursued by one 
member of a family, itmay be participated in by others 
with great facility. An inteUigent person, by merely 
employing the time well at meals, may sometimes 
obtain the principles of a science from a friend who 
is studying it; and who will be pleased with an 
opportunity to converse on the subject which chiefly 
occupies his mind. It should be a regular practice 
with the father, to draw out his guests and visitors in, 
conversation on some useful topic with which they 
are best acquainted, for their own gratification and 
the benefit of the family. And how favorable is such 
a habit to the cultivation of friendly feelings, agreea- 
ble and useful recollections ! A child from school 
should be often questioned on the subjects he stu- 
dies, in the presence of the other children, and they 
should be made to repeat the facts communicated. 

One principle the parent should always keep in 
view : that of giving his children a just estimation of 
things according to their comparative value. And 
here I would suggest two considerations in relation 
to this subject. 1. We underrate things of which 
we are not well informed, while we are apt to over- 
rate some of those with which we are partially ac- 
quainted. 2. We should therefore best guard against 



I 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 131 

false views by becoming acquainted with as many 
important subjects as possible. 

I do not speak particularly of science, history, nat- 
ural history, poetry, &c. ; for the father who has 
early commenced with the plan here recommended, 
will not need directions for extending it to the higher 
branches. I would however barely remark here, that 
Sabbath conversations may partake of the same 
scheme, though the topics must ever be appropriate 
to the day. 



CHAPTER XII. 

INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION— confmwerf. 

Conversation in general — Points to be guarded against in conversa- 
tion — Books in a family library — Impure and frivolous works to 
be excluded — Fiction — Great objects of instruction — The father 
may write for the instruction of his children — Learning good prose 
and poetry by rote — Domestic instruction in geography, natu- 
ral history, arts, common life, &c. — Children's compositions, 
journals, &c. 

With regard to instruction, in a country where the 
means of communicating it are generally so easily 
obtained, the principal questions it might be thought 
should arise in relation to the sorts of knowledge to 
be conveyed to the mind at different ages, and the 
methods by which it should be accomplished. Every 
parent is interested in many other means of instruc- 
tion beside schools and books ; and it would be very 
improper to confine our view to these alone. What 
is to be said may be ranged under the following 
heads ; Conversation, schools, books, newspapers, 
apparatus, associations. 

Conversation. The use of conversation, as a means 
for the instruction of a child, may be begun very early, 
and should always be continued. How many thou- 
sands of ideas do we derive from the lips of others, even 
when we are not addressed. The mind of a child has 
different states — sometimes it receives and retains 
ideas, almost unconsciously, which at others might be 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 133 

presented to it in vain. This is the fact with mature 
minds also to a great degree : for our thoughts are 
often fixed on something else, when conversation fails 
to attract our particular attention. Children often 
understand things which parents suppose to be far 
above their comprehension. They sometimes receive 
ideas which they have no words to express, and 
see through attempts made to disguise things 
from them. " I remember," said an individual, " my 
playing repeatedly on the floor in the presence of older 
persons, and understanding what they were speaking 
of, although at the same time I was chiefly engrossed 
with toys ; but whenever they spake low or rapidly 
to prevent me from comprehending, it at once attract- 
ed my curiosity, and lowered my opinion of them." 
No father is perfectly safe in saying things in the pre- 
sence of a child above two years of age which he 
would not have it understand ; and it is well to observe 
the practice of reserving for another time everything 
of that nature. Young children will sometimes re- 
peat the words they have heard, hours and even days 
afterwards, though they have seemed entirely en- 
grossed with something else when they were spoken. 

Conversation in the presence of children should be 
on useful topics, varied and cheerful, but never about 
them, unless with great caution. By proper atten- 
tion, a parent may render conversation in the family 
one of the most delightful and effectual means of 
education. He can thus inculcate and exemplify 
such principles in this volume as he approves, and as 
many more good ones as he can discover. 

We may here briefly mention some of the evils to 
12* 



134 THE father's book. 

be avoided, and would urge parents assiduously to 
cultivate the best habits in their daily conversation, 
for the express benefit of their little ones. Let the 
father and mother impress themselves deeply with the 
importance of this means of education, and unite in 
watching over themselves and each other, with a 
constant and critical care. Let them agree, 

1. Never to speak for the sake of talking. 

2. Never to speak ill or disparagingly of another, 
when the duty to do so is not perfectly clear. 

3. Establish such a habit, that when there is any 
excitement of feeling, the first impulse shall be to be 
silent. 

4. To put the best construction ou words and con- 
duct. 

5. To speak of what is useful. 

6. Never to indulge in any thing coarse or vulgar 
even in a slight degree. 

7. Never to border on irreverence to sacred things. 

8. Never to argue except for the truth. 

9. Strictly to observe the rules of courtesy. 

10. To respect grammar and taste. 
Conversation, being a means of instruction which 

is ever at our command, and borne with us wherever 
we go with our children, is worthy of great attention. 
It should be an early study with the father to famil- 
iarize himself with the language of childhood, which 
is indeed worthy of study on account of its curious 
and valuable traits, independently of the important 
uses to which it is to be made subservient. When 
acquired, a faciUty of conversing with children may 
be turned to account in many ways, which we must 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 135 

leave, in a great measure, to the sagacity of the parent 
and the endless yariety of circumstances continually 
presenting opportunities to resort to jt. In another 
chapter wifl be found a sketch of table talk, and 
remarks oq other branches of conversation, from which 
the reader may judge of the general views of the' 
author. In asaother chapter still, some hints on schools 
may aliso be found. ' 

The books and. other publications to be introduced- 
into a family, should be examined -of inquired after 
with peculiar care. The idea that cliildren should 
ha,ve various views on important subjects submitted 
to *them, that they may make their own choice, is* 
very dangerous to be acted on, if applied in such, a 
manner as to leave them in doubt concerning, the opin*. 
ion of their parents, or to lead to the belief that they 
are regarded with indifference. Happy is the family 

•,iwhich possesses a well selected library, appropriate to 
the improvenient of parents and children, in constant 
use, and carefully kept in order. When the father is 
absent from home, he may ever take pleasure in the 

, teflection, that some of his favorite authors are pur- 

f suiiig the course of education he has established in 
his family circle ; and, while among his children 
he finds ever at hand a supply of the materials and 
implements most convenient fc»ruse in prpsecuting.it 
hiihseif. ' But let him admit no book.- into his collec- 
•lion which opposes hia own avowed principles, or jn- 

;. tiihates a taste in its owner different from that which 
he inculcates. !E very thing immoral and gross should 
be especially excluded : for how would it weakeii a 
child's respect for his father, '^nd diminish his confi- 



136 THE father's book. 

dence in his sincerity, if searching through^ his libra- 
ry, to read, in one of the volumes treasured there, such 
sentiments as are found in parts of Shakespeare, 
Swift, Byron, Moore, and too many other authors, 
retained in elegant and popular editions, in defiance 
of decency and common sense '? I do not doubt that 
many a parent has lost, unaccountably perhaps to 
himself, by some such accident, an influence over his 
child which he would not easily regain ; while, on 
the contrary, to meet with nothing exceptionable 
would be eminently calculated to enhance a regard 
for the parent in the child. The child cannot ap- 
preciate the father's estimation of an injurious work 
because it is " complete :" his views of evil are de- 
cided and uncompromising — exactly such as we all 
should carry with us through life, and which nothing 
can impair without doing serious injury to the individ- 
ual. If he could not obtain purified editions, if he 
could not procure any author whatever free from eve- 
ry trace of pollution, he should make up his library 
without it. Some might consider it incomplete : they 
should rather congratulate themselves on its more 
valuable quality of being free from a plague spot, 
which might infect those minds, to secure the purity 
of which is the principal object of the whole family 
system. 

Frivolous works should also be excluded, and 
especially those fictitious productions which inculcate 
false and exaggerated views of the world and of man. 
The Arabian Nights, Tales of the Genii, and the 
old fashioned novels generally, are to youth, what 
Tom Thumb, Bluebeard, Peter Wilkins, Fairy Tales, 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 157 

&c. are to children. They pervert the taste, excite 
the imagination, and misdirect the feelings, in a 
degree, and with numerous evil effects, which few 
duly appreciate as they deserve. On this subject 
many probably might speak from experience. I knew 
a person who lost years of useful reading through an 
unhappy devotion to these and similar works, and 
formed numerous unfounded ideas of himself and 
others, of life and manners, of duty and happiness, 
with which he had long to contest, and from which 
others as well as himself have since been sufferers. 
All works of such a tendency should be scouted. I 
am not prepared to condemn all fictions, but I can say 
that children naturally prefer truth, and, until their 
natural bent and just taste are affected by others, the 
greatest argument that you can raise against a book 
is that it is not true. If I could have my own wish, 
no child should ever be presented with one, at least 
until he is old enough to comprehend the motives of 
the author, and to understand that it is not the prac- 
tical falsehood he might suppose, because it is an 
avowed fiction. If any works of imagination are 
harmless as well as useful, such are, those of Mrs. 
Hannah Moore, and of a few other similar authors, 
which present fictitious characters and scenes, founded 
on fact, expressly for useful ends. Such are Scott's 
novels among a different class of writing. Expe- 
rience and close observation, however, lead us to 
admit, that the evils arising from an indulged fancy 
are so serious, that we must expect a finer taste, more 
solid progress in useful knowledge, and much better 
regulated feelings in a person trained up on plain 



138 THE father's BOOK. 

truth, than in one accustomed, even though but in a. 
small degree, to the regions of faiicy. :- 

The simple truth is, that oui: children need to know 
themselves, their. Maker, their fellow men, and the natu-. 
ral world, and, that for all these branches of knowledge 
ample pro vision. is made, which is accessible to each 
of us, in this free and Christian country. The parent 
has only .to perform his part aright j. and no resort 
need be had to the Com plicated machinery which is 
so often called into education. The word of God 
must be our. chief guide, as it will direct us in forming 
correct views from what w^ can see in • ourselves, in 
others, and in creation: Good people must be our 
assistants in the task, by their example, advice, 
writings and cooperation. And with such instruction 
as we may derive from our intercourse . with society, 
and the history of past generations, and such success 
as we may hope for from the tlessing of God, we 
need not feel that we are deficient in means, or de- 
prived of encouragement. The objects of education 
are matters of fact ; and we should beware how j\ve 
bring falsehood into conipetition with truth before bur 
children's eyes. 

A father or mother may very cheaply cultivate- 
literary tagte in the family, as well as confer instruc- 
tion, a:nd Communicate pleasure, by the occasional 
use of the pen. If the father, for example, has any 
facility in writing poetry, nothing can be more wel- 
coijie to his little circle at home than the reading of ' 
a few lines, never so simple, on the birth day of the 
mother, or<)ne.of the children, or descriptive of some 
pretty object, or interesting event. The influence of 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION, 139 

such a practice I have witnessed with great, pleasure 
in the family of an excellent friend. Prose may be 
so managed as to answer the purpose nearly as Avell ; 
and the practices of keeping a little journal in travel- 
ling may be particularly recornmended. Even if a 
few notes only are made, to be filled out in conversa- 
tion at the fireside, severa! advantages may^.'arise 
from it ; one of which is, that the children will per- 
ceive that ^he father's thoughts are often at home 
and on them even while he is far distant. Such a 
composition m^y be easily converted into a family 
lesson for instruction : notice may be given that at 
such a time in the evening the journal is* to be pro- 
duced ; and maps being opened^ the. father may pro- 
ceed, and afterwards ask questions, and reply to que- 
ries ill his turn, on geographical prints, or natural 
history, scenery, manners, &c. &c. 

It is highly. Useful to store the memories of the 
young with good pieces of poetry and prose : passages ' 
from the Scriptures, and hymns, for religious objects ; 
and fine verses or rhetorical prose for the inculcation • 
of important sentiments, or the cultivation of style, 
■ Even good maxims and pertinent proverbs are well , 
worthy of the parent's attention. No one can foresee 
how many forcible practical lessons may be derived 
from'> such a stock in future life, or what iinportant 
actions . may be the result. The parent should also 
occasionally repeat passages from memory, icft in- 
struction, interest and amusement, and sometimes 
quote wise sayings in appropriate cases, that th€t 
children may learn hov^ to use the materials and 
weapons they aye furnished with. 



140 THE father's book. 

I would recommend it to every father, on the 
opening of the Spring, to endeavor to afford his chil- 
dren the natural enjoyments appropriate to the season, 
according to their ages and sexes. If these enjoy- 
ments can be agreeably associated with useful labor, 
it would be gaining a double point. If the father 
has a garden, he should early mark off a bed or a 
corner for each of the children, direct them how to 
turn up the ground, giving reasons for it, and enlarg- 
ing, if he can, on the principles of agriculture, its 
useful results, our dependence upon the products, and 
its beneficial influence on health, the mind and the 
feelings. The care of the soil should be represented 
also as an evil compared with the higher employments 
for which man was destined in a state of original in- 
nocence, although a blessing when connected with 
our present condition ; and its tendency to invigorate 
the body and mind, to give pleasure, respectability and 
wealth, should be shown. The children should be 
supplied with seeds, encouraged to plant and water 
them, and to reflect as well as to read and converse 
on subjects connected with agriculture. 

Children may be taught much geography at home, 
at an early age and with great facility, by having 
maps hung where they can see and study them daily, 
especially, if frequent recurrence be had to them by 
the parents, to point out the scenes of interesting 
events. I would begin to teach geography by mak- 
ing a child tell what is on the different sides of the 
garden, yard, or even room, and enumerating the 
objects it contained, their forms, size, uses, origin, &c. 
Geography cannot well be separated from every thing 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION. 141 

'else, and climate, soil, animals, vegetables, minerals, 
&c., aid in fixing each other in the memory, 
Then the child may be made to describe a neighbor's 
garden, or field, and to compare the two, with the 
animals, trees, flowers, &c. which they contain. 
After this his views may be extended farther ; and at 
the close of a walk he may be asked what he has 
observed in relation to fields, gardens, farms, &c. 
How much is a tree worth which bears such or so 
many apples 1 Why are sheep so carefully tended ? 
What are their enemies 1 &c. A child by walk- 
ing up and down a hill, will learn the meaning of the 
words, " acclivit}^," " mountain," &c., and he should 
be made to observe a brook, pond, &c. to get distinct 
ideas of what is signified by geographical terms which 
are usually taught by rote. If a youth has once got 
an intelligent idea of a farm, its soil, productions, 
inhabitants, stock, tillage, &c., he will be well 
prepared to extend his views by degrees over the 
world. If to such knowledge of a small tract of 
country be added that of things connected with the 
state of society, he will have begun at the right place 
his study of nations. And children have a strong as 
well as a most reasonable curiosity to learn the causes 
of the moral phenomena they daily witness. A few 
words will satisfactorily explain to them the uses of 
roads, carriages, numerous implements, animals, &c. 
And why is it not of importance to let them know 
the reasons why we enjoy so much security at night, 
and why there is any thing to guard against ; by 
what power we hold our property ; how laws operate 
unseen but effectually in some familiar cases ; how a 
13 



142 THE father's book. 

seal on a letter becomes a security ; how individuals 
have risen to great influence in society ; and why 
others are less esteemed. 

On any of these subjects short remarks or essays 
may be written with great advantage. The power of 
writing well is very valuable, and cannot be obtained 
without practice. It is a good habit to require the 
children to write a little daily on domestic or other 
subjects. 

A boy while receiving his classical education is left 
too much to form his own opinions of the usefulness, 
the objects, the practical applicability of what he 
studies. It is desirable that he should be informed 
in general terms at least on this point, that he may 
be encouraged to exert himself, and still more that he 
may not imbibe the injurious idea that what is useless 
may be worth acq uiring for show, or for some purpose 
not understood by his parents, who put him at the 
task, or by his teachers, and therefore of questionable 
value. 

I would say to parents who bave not the intention 
or the opportunity to give their. children an acquaint- 
ance with the classical studies, that many of the 
advantages which they can confer on such as pursue 
them faithfully may be secured by means within their 
own reach. Our own language^ if studied as care- 
fully as Latin or Greek, may be made fperhaps even 
more serviceable in showing the philosophy of human 
speech ; all the historical facts, and many of the 
poetic beauties, obtained from ancient books, may be 
got from translations ; a far more precise and practical 
knowledge of the principles of republican government 



INTELLECTUAL INSTRUCTION, 



143 



than mere books can ever give, may be derived from 
verbal instruction on the powers of om* own officers, 
the manner of performing elections, transacting 
public business, the uprightness and intelligence 
which ought to prevail among a people and their 
magistrates, with a little pains to show such Mving 
examples as town meetings, the conversation and 
actions of men, frequently offer, even to the humblest 
persons in society. 

Whether one travels in his own country or in foreign 
lands, one of the greatest safeguards of time and cha- 
racter is to go provided with a plan. It is desirable 
that a father, before setting out, should fix on specific 
objects of inquiry or attention for the employment of 
his leisure, in each place he expects to visit, and pro- 
vide a memorandum book in which to note down, 
however briefly, important facts and suggestions. 

A father who sends off his son for a distant city, or 
country, without indicating objects of attention to 
him on his way or after his arrival, may expect him, 
at best, to derive but a small portion of the benefit 
from his journey which he might derive ; but he who 
provides hiin with a written list of questions to an- 
swer, accompanied with such notes as may prove 
instructive, has put some means of self-instruction in 
his hands, and guarded him against many temptations. 
This principle may be early introduced, by proper 
attention to suggestions made in another chapter on 
early practical instructions in geography, the arts, &c. 
and practice will render such a system famihar. 

A child should not be allowed to imbibe false ideas 
of the proper ends of the learning or knowledge he 
may acquire. We run great risks, in many schools 



144 THE father's book. 

and colleges, of becoming conceited with literary- 
honors, or of mortification and disgust if we do not 
obtain them. We are too much exposed, also, to 
form selfish views, to select selfish objects of pursuit, 
and to render life a mere race-course or battle ground, 
on which we see nothing desirable but our own exal- 
tation. To counteract this propensity, which may 
be discovered in every breast, the principles of the 
Gospel must be constantly brought in. Every acqui- 
sition recommended to a child, should be represented 
like anew talent, as valuable on account of the benefits 
which result from its use. The good of those around, 
the real advantage of societ)^, the happiness of men, 
and the honor of God, should be perpetually held out 
as the objects to be aimed at in life ; and the more 
clearly a child can be made to perceive the beneficial 
tendency of his exertions, the more fikely will the 
parent be to meet success in giving him a lofty aim. 



CHAPTER XIII. 

SOCIETY, AND ITS INFLUENCE ON EDUCATION. 

Advantages offered by tlie state of society in our own country — Pub- 
lic celebrations — Training days — Exhibitions of children — Cele- 
brations appropriate to an intelligent, virtuous and Christian peo- 
ple — Duty of fathers in fostering literary societies — Safeguards 
against intemperance and crime — The neighborhood— How to be 
regarded— Habits of loving iieighbors — Petty jealousies — Social 
intercourse — Influence of Sabbath Schools, religious and charita- 
ble associations on families. 

Every good father, as one of the preparatory steps 
to forming a plan of education, should take an intel- 
ligent and enlarged view of society. His children 
must he in some manner connected with it : they 
cannot live independently of it. At every period of 
their lives they must more or less sympathize with 
others, as well as derive more or less knowledge from 
them. There are so many ways of learning and 
teaching, that Ave often receive and communicate 
ideas without observing it ; and we are so much af- 
fected by those around us, that any of us might have 
been materially different from what we are, in mind, 
heart or habits, if we had been accustomed to a dif- 
ferent society. 

I wish the father to become early and permanently 
impressed with the fact, that we enjoy most important 
advantages in this country for the training of chil- 
13* 



146 THE father's book, 

dren. There are no fixed artificial classes or ranks, 
which cause so much estrangement among fellow citi- 
zens in many other countries ; and there are no restric- 
tions to prevent the parent from pursuing any system 
he pleases in training his children. All professions 
and trades also are open and free ; and knowledge is 
easily accessible by persons of every class. But 
however much might be said of the peculiar advan- 
tages we enjoy, it is probable that but few fathers 
would be able fully to realize their own comparative 
advantages, for want of acquaintance with the disad- 
vantages of other lands. But let us consider how 
far we may turn to account the means offered by our 
numerous religious, moral, and literary societies. 

Children have such lively sympathies, that they 
hardly ever fail to feel strongly on subjects which are 
the common topics of conversation, especially when 
there is much attendant visible movement or exhi- 
bition. Military displays are no doubt injurious to 
them, by producing an excitement without any de- 
fined object, and leaving the mind with nothing satis- 
factor}^, instructive or useful, to fix upon. The im- 
pressions thus made upon the feelings of the young 
are^ besides, not on the whole agreeable. Let any 
father recall the species of intoxication with which 
he was sometimes seized on a training day, and the 
state of exhaustion and disaffection in which he has 
sometimes found himself after it has passed. But 
when to mere frivolity are added the scenes of irregu- 
larity and vice, which are too often presented to the 
view pf children, it must be allowed that periods of 
military display are not desirable occasions for them. 



INTERCOURSE WITH THE WORLD. 147 

Public exhibitions and days of national festivity 
are to be approved of : but the objects should be 
appropriate, and kept distinctly in view, while the 
mode and means should be becoming a Christian 
public. Most happily we have abundant means to 
render them interesting and improving to the pubUc. 
It is desirable that they should offer an opportunity 
to every class in society to act some part, or to derive 
some benefit from what may be done. Wherever 
we can make children participators in a proper man- 
ner, the opportunity should not be lost. There is no 
more delightful sight than a collection of well-behaved 
children in a public assembly, or moving in proces- 
sion. To parents the sight of one such display may 
afford interest enough for a whole day ; and as the 
children will be sure to engage in it with great plea- 
sure, the chief part of society is thus at once provided 
for. There should always be some address or exer- 
cises, calculated to present the value or importance 
of some great principle ; and it will not be long, it is 
to be hoped, ere we shall do justice to the fine arts, 
and add the attractions and instructions of painting, 
sculpture, music and poetry, to our civic public occa- 
sions. 

The annual exhibitions of Infant and Sabbath 
schools, if properly conducted, will afford a source of 
rational entertainment to the young. Parents 
should not lose the opportunity which such oc- 
casions will present, of placing in merited contrast 
these pure, rational and beneficial public amusements 
with some of those whose character and tendency are 
of the opposite nature. Literary associations, appro- 
priate to the state of things around, may a,hd niust 



148 THE father's book. 

be patronized by the intelligent parent, if he would 
expect to secure to his children all the advantages 
which societ)^ is able to confer upon them. Library 
companies, reading-rooms, (not mere news rooms,) 
public cabinets of minerals, plants, shells, &c. ; Ly-^ 
ceums, athenaeums, &c., should exist in every neigh- 
borhood ; otherwise the tavern, oyster cellar, confec- 
tioner's shop, refectory, porter house, or something 
worse, will tempt and receive at least the young 
around us, and mark plague-spots upon one youth 
after another, whose infection will spread far and 
wide. It will be no consolation to us that the leaven 
has operated for a time imperceptibly. We know 
the nature of such moral malaria, that it rises like an 
invisible flood, and may invade any dwelUng ; and 
it is our duty to prevent its very existence. Probably 
thousands of youths might have been saved from 
ruin, by the mere fact of having been furnished with 
a respectable place of resort for their leisure time. 
Every clerk and apprentice, as well as every other per- 
son in the neighborhood, should have access to a pub- 
lic room, supplied with books, maps, pictures, &c. and 
have a right to a seat in it during good behaviour, 
and compliance with the rules. 

Respectable company, useful occupation, and com- 
fortable accommodations, in such places, with a 
sense that his conduct would be observed, could not 
fail to impose useful restraints upon him, and to af- 
ford him great facilities for intellectual improvement. 

Public lectures on popular topics are also very 
useful to society, and should be furnished by associa- 



INTERCOURSE WITH THE WORLD. 149 

tions of parents. In many places they are given gra- 
tuitously. 

The necessary expenses of such operations as these 
are very small. Many lyceums in our country fur- 
nish a course of lectures each winter at the expense 
of from half a dollar to two or three dollars to the 
members. 

Such means as these must be used to give full suc- 
cess to moral societies, especially to temperance 
associations. The principle is the same as that on 
which a good man would act who has rescued a friend 
from intemperance. He takes care to furnish him 
with respectable associates, and interesting and useful 
occupation for his leisure ; and this is exactly the ob- 
ject of library companies, public lectures, lyceums, &c. 
in a more general application. If public authorities 
would establish such means by law, they would soon 
. save a great deal of the cost of courts, prisons, poor 
houses, hospitals, &c. But legislators, as well as 
fathers and citizens at large, have formed habits of 
being pound foolish, and it is very difficult to make 
them despise penny wisdom. 

JVeighborhood. A father may avail himself of many 
opportunities offered by a neighborhood, in the edu- 
cation of his children. He ought however to be- 
come well informed of the habits as well as principles 
of those with whose children his own may associate, 
before he too far encourages their intimacy. No^ 
thing but what is very decidedly bad, or in total oppo- 
sition to his own views on important subjects, ought 
to be allowed to prevent intercourse. We must ex- 
pect to find imperfections as well as to exhibit them ; 



150 THE father's book. 

and if they fall under the observation of our children, 
we may use them as occasions for warning. In gen- 
eral the young should be brought up with the most 
friendly feelings towards neighbors, and discouraged, 
by example and precept, in every disposition to dis- 
like, disparage, envy or despise them. 

Here will often be work enough for an attentive 
parent. But never let him forget to begin with train- 
ing the feelings in his own breast. If they are kindly 
and affectionate, lenient, forgiving and benevolent, 
towards those who dwell in his neighborhood, he may 
calculate with confidence that his children will be 
young philanthropists. Then let not an unnecessary 
word of blame fall from your lips against those around 
you. They must be frequently subjects of conversa- 
tion. Human minds, unfortunately, are generally 
ill stored with more important or more interesting 
topics of meditation than what are presented to their 
eyes ; and these employ a great part of our thoughts 
and conversation. It is of great consequence, of far 
greater than many fathers will be easily led to sup- 
pose, that children should be brought to respect and 
love their neighbors, so far as they may fairly be 
regarded as objects of respect and love. 

The father is deeply interested in exercising such 
feelings towards those around him, on his children's 
account as well as his own. Our happiness and our 
moral improvement greatly depend on the nature of 
our prevaihng dispositions ; and what can be more 
agreeable and useful to the heart, than to cultivate 
high and pure affections towards those for whom we 
must of necessity feel something or other every day 



INTERCOURSE WITH THE WORLD. 151 

and many times in a day ? How different must the 
account stand at the end of the year, of the man who 
perpetually blames his neighbor for the most trifling 
thing he does, and his who habitually in looking 
upon him, loves him. 

Now, the neighborhood, as furnishing opportunities 
for training the affections of our children, and fixing 
their ideas of characters, is a far superior practical 
school to that which is offered by any course of 
biographical reading with which we can furnish them. 
Yet it is a lamentable fact, that some parents, who 
could comment with admiration on the qualities of 
some of the fabricated heroes and heroines of fiction, 
of a winter evening, will spend no little part of the win- 
ter itself, and perhaps of the whole' year, in suspecting 
the intentions, perverting the motives, words or actions 
of living persons around, whose lives and characters 
might often furnish most interesting and improving 
lessons for their children. Let the good parent then, 
on looking upon the neighborhood, adopt the princi- 
ple of magnifying virtues, and excusing, palliating, or 
at least forgiving, faults. 

A boy once lived some months in a family, in a 
country village, where he never heard the master or 
mistress indulge in any ill-natured remarks about any 
of the neighbors. When therefore he met them, (as 
he afterwards remarked), he had no prejudices to 
prevent him from enjoying all the kindness they of- 
fered, or to make him anticipate ill treatment or evil 
intentions ; and he ever after bore a gratifying recol- 
lection of them. 

To give the other side of the picture, let the father 



152 THE father's book. 

recall, if he can, what it is to be feared most of us will 
find little difficulty in recollecting, a family, in which it 
it the practice to satirize or asperse other people. The 
ill effects of this habit there has been reason on many 
occasions to deplore. I would not judge too hardly 
of those who have indulged this propensity in their 
early life, for it is doubtless owing to the too influen- 
tial example of older persons engaged in their educa- 
tion. How Httle does an individual sometimes ima- 
gine, that extensive evil may be produced by indulging 
in the practice of making ill-natured remarks ! Yet 
how easily may a parent, or a friend, or a nurse, 
under particular circumstances, so speak and so act, 
in the presence of children, as to incline them to be 
censorious, jealous, envious or suspicious of their 
neighbors through life ! They will insensibly copy 
the manner of looking round with a significant smile, 
a toss of the head, or a curl of the lip, as a visiter 
leaves the room, or as a kind hearted neighbor says 
or does some friendly thing in a particular manner. 
They will perhaps get the same proverbs or deprecia- 
ting comparisons on their tongues, or a supply of 
perverted motives, ready for use on all occasions. 
Connected with this habit we often find personal 
vanity, or family pride, which are among the weakest 
passions we can ever show. When this union exists, 
you may bid adieu to good neighborhood, and the 
blessings you ought to derive from it, as well as con- 
fer upon it. 

In connection with the recommendation above 
given of cultivating kindly feehngs towards neighbors, 
it may be very proper to point the parent at the habit 



INTERCOURSE WITH THE WORLD. 153 

of praising and complimenting each other, so dan- 
gerous in a family. I will not enlarge upon its nature 
or tendency, but only remark, that it is possible for 
the members of such a family to suffer for life in con- 
sequence of it. 

In social intercourse, that spirit should reign which 
would make the most perfect harmony with your 
family system ; — the spirit of true love, or, as it is 
translated. Charity, which thinketh no evil — the 
spirit of a sound mind. 

That w e think no evil, should be shown in our 
comments on our friends after parting from them. 
Others should not hear us make remarks indicative 
of a suspicious or a perverting spirit. On the con- 
trary, though an equivocal remark may have fallen 
ffrom one of them, or a slighting action or look have 
been observed in another, we should spontaneously 
attribute it to inattention, oversight, thoughtlessness 
or misapprehension ; at any rate, we should use 
such exculpatory or forgiving remarks as these : — 
" My friend has a hasty temper, such as mine has 
been, or might have been ; he is liable to trials, or may 
be, from which we are thus far exempt. How soon I may 
be so tried I know not ; but I should apprehend my 
inability to bear them with equanimity. His temper is 
ardent ; I know his warmth and impetuosity — perhaps 
he is now asking forgiveness of Him who has power 
and will to pardon." 

As to the spirit of a sound mind, how few of us 

have it ! Some of us are apt to think we possess it. 

In youth, when we are learning, but have not pursued 

the acquisition of knowledge so long as to ascertain 

14 



154 THE father's book. 

that it is unlimited, we are apt to tliink that an 
immense distance is passed when we have stepped 
from one set of ideas to another. If we compare 
ourselves with others who know less, especially on 
our favorite subjects, we are tempted to entertain the 
idea that we are the people, and that knowledge will 
die with us. But every year, if not every day, shows 
us that our conclusions are erroneous, our anticipations 
vain, our valued acquisitions of little or no use, and 
our fancied solid foundations, changeable and uncer- 
tain. What we beheve now we once disbelieved or 
decried ; what we may hereafter enjoy, w^e now per- 
haps dislike. We have often the disgust, in the 
morning, to find the world, ourselves and our condition, 
appearing very different from what they did in the 
evening, and the mortification to reflect at every disap- 
pointment that it is according to the course of human 
affairs. What is our life, but a series of mistakes ? 

The father should recollect, that society will often 
be performing its part on his children while he is other- 
wise employed ; and so far as he is able he should en- 
deavor to give its influence such a bias as may prove 
useful to them. Children are necessarily left much of 
their time in the company of other persons, and 
must be influenced by their conversation. It is very 
desirable that his own character should be respected 
by all ; for the children will be very likely to disco- 
ver how he is esteemed by others. A sensible and 
virtuous man needs not only to be benevolent, but to 
be courteous. Bad manners often bring ridicule even 
upon those whose excellences are acknowledged, and 
excite a degree of contempt which it is not always 



INTERCOURSE WITH THE WORLD. 155 

easy to conceal. Let the father, then, foV his chil- 
dren's sake, be particularly careful to command the 
sincere respect and good will of those with whom they 
are to mingle, and ever treat them with such 
manners as shall be agreeable. 

Great influence will be exerted upon a child, by 
keeping up an intimate connection between the fa- 
mily and Sabbath schools, and Bible classes ; and by 
having some individual an active member of the Bi- 
ble society, Tract, Missionary, and other societies, 
which now perform so much of the good done by 
our countrymen at home and abroad. The feelings 
which such systematic labors produce, the knowledge 
of important facts, which they diffuse, the maturity of 
mind, elevation and expansion of heart and systema- 
tic habits which they cultivate, form a rich treasure 
which should be carefully divided among our chil- 
dren. And this may and will be done, to a great ex- 
tent, and almost of course, if we and our families are 
connected with those associations. How many ma- 
terials will thus be furnished, in the course of the 
year, to the stock which is to compose the topics of fire- 
side and table talk ! 

After what has been said in other chapters, con- 
cerning the selection and use of such materials, it will 
be perhaps unnecessary here to occupy more time 
with this important subject : but the inteUigent pa- 
rent will find, the more he turns his attention to the 
advantages thus offered by society in the education 
of his children, that every day and every hour will 
disclose some way of availing himself of them. 
> In the improvement of the state of society, too, he 



156 THE father's book. 

will find he has a most deep and immediate interest ; 
and while such men as Douglas and Dick, on the 
other side of the Atlantic, are writing on the means 
by which its condition and influences may be purified 
and exalted, it is to be hoped that American fathers, 
on whom devolves the task of practically effecting 
the desired obj ect, may realize the superior advan- 
tages they possess, and will engage in the underta- 
king on the best principles, and without delay, and 
proceed in it without discouragement. 



CHAPTER XIV. 



MUSIC, POLITENESS, PUNCTUALITY, &c. 

The cultivation of music in the family — ^Vocal music — Its impor- 
tance as a means of discipline and instruction, as well as a source 
of enjoyment — Nature prompts to cultivation of vocal music — 
Almost every child capable of learning to sing — The musical 
machinery of the throat — Singing schools useful, and worthy of 
patronage — ^IMusical instruments for children— False views of 
politeness— Good manners; — Practical training — Systematic be- 
neficence — Example — Instances to illustrate. 

Vocal music should be cultivated in every family as 
one of the prominent objects ; and this on account 
of its value in several points of view. The mere 
enjoyment to be derived from the practice, may be 
regarded as of secondary importance when compared 
with its use to the parent as a means of instruction 
and discipline. Those who have not reflected as 
much on the subject as it deserves, may not have 
observed in how many ways it may be rendered sub- 
servient to these ends. 

1. Vocal music is well calculated to subdue and 
banish those petty passions and feelings of disaffection 
which so often mar the family circle. If children 
begin to feel fretful, or if any member of the house- 
hold has brought to the fireside any jarring influence ; 
14* 



158 

or if the father himself feels something of the agita- 
tions or vexations of business from the world in which 
he has mingled, let an appropriate air or hymn or 
two be early sung. How sweetly, how spontaneously 
do hearts melt into harmony when the voices begin 
to accord ! If there be any parent who has never 
made the experiment, let him try it at the first oppor- 
tunity. If he does not find vocal music an influential 
and a useful friend in his little kingdom, I can hardly 
recommend it to any common pacificator. 

2. Singing greatly aids instruction. In exerting 
discipline, as above mentioned, it of course teaches 
the heart ; and when frequently practised, the education 
the affections receive is of great importance. But 
to intellectual instruction also it affords material aid. 
When a child has learnt a song relating to any sub- 
ject, how deeply and vividly are impressed upon his 
memory the subjects to which it relates ! And it is an 
important advantage that the impression is agreeable, 
being associated with sweet sounds and harmony, and 
frequently Avith the recollection of the friends or 
scenes present when it was learnt or repeated- It 
would therefore be worth the trouble to teach even 
common things with the aid of songs. Barbarians 
have usually found poetry and music the wings of 
historical knowledge, and have sometimes applied 
them to other subjects. In civilized countries, where 
books perpetuate facts, they are still much employed 
to reach those who read little, and to carry thoughts 
and feelings farther than they would otherwise go. 
We must call in every faculty and every proper inven- 



MUSIC. 169 

tion, to promote education ; and this powerful principle 
should form a prominent feature in our plan. 

By means of vocal music, we may also lay the founda- 
tionformuch benefit, as well as much enjoyment, in later 
life. The songs learnt in childhood recur to the mind 
thousands of times in subsequent years, and are always 
preferred on account of the recollections they awaken. 
Perhaps there are no other means by which the same 
effects may be so easily and so certainly produced. 
When impressions have been thus made, the child is 
engaged to work, in his parents' stead, for his own 
improvement, through life. Memory, when wakened 
by harmony, like that you have cultivated at home, 
will revive in the mind your words as well as tones, 
and bring up the pure affections, the peace and enjoy- 
ment, the principles and examples \Yhich now sur- 
round your children at the fireside, perhaps long after 
and far away, whatever changes may have befallen 
you or your home. I could mention the feelings 
expressed by an American in Holland, on hearing a 
song sung on a journey, and a hymn in a church, 
such as he had learnt at home ; but how well known 
are the fondness of the Swiss and Scotch for their own 
music, and the vivid impressions it revives of their 
country, that is, of their homes and friends, when 
heard in a foreign land ! There are happily many 
little songs for children now current in our infant 
schools, set to lively airs, and these are generally well 
worth teaching, as they relate to some useful branch 
of knowledge or art, or inculcate some good sentiment. 
We are still unhappily very deficient in songs for youth 
and manhood, becoming a Christian, a virtuous and 



160 THE father's book. 

an intelligent people ; and as for national airs, there 
are few, if any, in existence in the United States. 
These it is to be hoped we may hereafter produce — 
certainly one good one would be worth scores of such 
as we usually import, and foolishly render fashionable. 

The child should be carefully guarded against 
corrupting and even against foolish songs. Many of 
those which will fall in their way are in miserable 
taste, most are insipid, and some directly injurious and 
even immoral. In respect to this subject the parent 
is liable to great difficulties, and may need to practice- 
much watchfulness and independence. One of the best 
precautions is to store his children's minds early with as 
many good songs and hymns, anthems, &c. as possi- 
ble, that their good and cultivated taste may reject 
the bad and the frivolous. We should not endure the 
connection of music or poetry Avith any thing coarse 
or vulgar, but insist that they be applied only to what 
they were designed for: viz. the beautiful in nature, 
the useful in art, the pure in character, the unblem- 
ished, the good, and the truly excellent in every thing. 

Music is one of the first things for which a child ex- 
presses a fondness. The tones of the human voice, 
when affected by tender parental feelings, are by na- 
ture melted into melody, as if expressly to gratify this 
early taste, and convey consolation and peace to the 
babe. It is therefore very good advice to the mother, 
who is called to some distance from her little child by 
domestic duties, occasionally to speak to it in an en- 
dearing tone. When children begin to like "jump- 
ing," that is, motion with the aid of their parent's 
hands, it will be often found that they move their 



MUSIC. 161 

limbs in time with singing. Even when creeping on 
the floor, I have seen a child of ten months stop on 
hearing music, laugh for joy, and move his body back- 
wards and forwards in time with the instrument or 
the voice. It is a very common, and a very injurious 
error, to suppose that music is natural but to certain 
persons. This has denied the benefit of it to many, 
for life. Whether all children might not be taught 
to sing correctly and to enjoy music, is still doubted. 
It is certain from many experiments, that the excep- 
tions are at most very rare. In an orphan Asylum 
in Germanjf, not more than one or two were found 
among two hundred ; and similar evidence is found 
in our infant schools and juvenile concerts in the Uni- 
ted States. Let the parent then take it for granted 
that his child is capable of being taught to sing, and 
proceed in training it daily, in the full confidence of 
success. 

No one can consider the wonderful, ingenious and 
delicate arrangements made in the human throat for 
the production of musical sounds, without thinking it 
inexcusable to neglect their use. An enlargement of 
the throat, or a cavity of two or three inches in di- 
mensions between the top of it and the root of the 
tongue, is lined with membranes, so stretched that the 
air passing through them makes a sound as through the 
reed of a clarionet. By gently grasping the upper part 
of the throat, and speaking a word or sounding a single 
note, the vibration is felt. This would be a curious in- 
strument, even if it admitted of no variation of sound : 
but it is furnished with five cartilages, which contract 
and expand the cavity at pleasure in different ways, so 



162 THE father's 



BOOK, 



as to give different vibrations, and of course different 
tones. In this small space, then, in the throat of 
every human being, is an instrument with a compass 
of from two to three octaves, which has the command 
of every semitone and subdivision of note, swell, trill, 
&c. and not necessarily exposed to the imperfections 
of artificial instruments, but so sweet, rich and clear, 
when well used, as to be the highest standard of com- 
parison in these points for the flute, clarionet, piano, 
organ, &c. Let the wonderful qualities of this instru- 
ment but be considered, let it be observed how dex- 
terously even the most ignorant of music manage it 
in conversation, and how easily a little child is able 
to use it, though it is entirely concealed from sight ; 
and then let us but consider that one great object of 
its construction was that it should be employed in 
sounding the praises of its Creator, and in sending 
pure feelings and holy thrills to every heart within 
hearing, and we cannot feel indifferent to the cultiva- 
tion of vocal music in our families. 

A single sweet and correct singer, by a little daily 
practice, is often able to train many others in this ex- 
alting and delightful art. Singing schools, however, 
are generally very useful in cultivating the taste and 
the powers ; and these should be carefully counte- 
nanced and encouraged, when judiciously conducted, 
as a harmless and useful public amusement. Proba- 
bly those only who have attended them in youth can 
fully appreciate the gratification and benefit they may 
confer. How many of those evil tendencies are avoid- 
ed, which are found in assemblies of the young, col- 
lected for the display of dress, manners or beauty, 



MUSIC. 163 

and where there is a want of every rational object ? It 
is probable that much good has been done by the 
public, as well as the private cultivation of singing, 
which has not been traced to its source. Instances 
might be mentioned, in which it has seemed to be 
the only bond of restraint to persons prone to vice or 
frivolity, while it has cooperated with the good parent 
in his exertions to shut out evil influences from the 
society around his little flock. 

Perhaps every child, at some period or other, has J 
a desire to use some musical instrument. In this he 
should be encouraged, and should be furnished with 
some one which he may use. It should be one from 
which he can draw notes, and correct ones too; and 
then perhaps the plainer and cheaper it is the better ; 
they will enjoy a jews-harp, or ^olian harp, very 
much. The child should be permittedtomakehisown 
experiments for a time, and receive aid only when he 
desires it, as with a string stretched between the win- 
dow sashes, &c. He cannot at first understand the 
use of the usual process of initiatory instruction, and 
will be more in danger of total discouragement if re- 
quired to make dull monotony, or discords, when he is 
seeking for melody. 

Good Manners, so much and so lamentably neg- 
lected at the present day, the father should cultivate 
with double diligence, because the general neglect of 
them will most counteract his exertions whenever his 
children mingle with society. Let his house be a 
place where good manners, in the highest sense of 
the term, shall ever prevail. Let him not lay too much 
stress on particular forms or address. Manners, 



164 THE father's book. 

founded on the principles of the Gospel, — love to man 
mingled with the love of God, and an intelligent 
mind — will be the best, the only truly good manners he 
can establish. Ah, how pitifully do those parents mis- 
take themselves, as well as their children and the 
world, who expect to have manners formed at dancing 
schools ! It is their own fault if their children's 
manners are not well formed ; and they betray 
their own superficial views of the subject, by so 
greatly overrating its mere externals. 

Manners are properly the type of character : they 
profess to be the glass through which the heart and 
mind, the feelings and thoughts, are seen. As such 
they should ever be considered ; and whoever trains 
a child to consider them in any other light, runs the 
risk of training him to deception. As the Christian 
character is the most lovely and sublime, the manners 
of a Christian should be the best ; and this may be 
inculcated m the following manner. 

" John and Caroline, did you see Henry come into 
the room just now ?" " Yes sir." " Did he come in 
properly f " No sir. He came in speaking loud, 
and went up to the fire to warm his hands, standing 
before mother." " Why should he not do so V* 
" Because you and mother have told us to treat older 
people with respect." " What is it to treat with 
respect ?" " To behave like a good child — To mind 
them and please them." 

" Come here, my children, and I will tell you some- 
thing about good manners, or treating other people 
with kindness and respect. You should always treat 
people so, because you are told, and because it ip 



GOOD MANNERS. 165 

right. Every body should do so, whether they are 
told to or not. Henry came into the room as if he 
did not care for any body but himself. Is he so good 
or so wise that nobody else is worth thinking of?" 
" No sir — he is not wise at all, or but very little." " A 
little boy, children, cannot know as much as a grown 
person, he has had so little time to learn ; and if he 
says he thinks he knows more, he seems the more 
foolish for that. Now if Henry had thought that 
other people were wiser than he, would he have wish- 
ed to interrupt them in speaking by making a noise ?" 
" No sir." " Well, besides this, do you think Henry 
acted as if he loved himself or other people best ?" 
" Himself." " Why would you think so ?" " Because 
he went up to the fire, and stood where he could 
warm himself best, without caring whether he kept 
the heat from others or not." " That is wrong, and 
every thing like it is wrong, because we must not love 
ourselves best. Whom should we love best 1" " God." 
" What does the Bible say about it 1" " Thou shalt 
love the Lord thy God, with all thy heart," &c. 
" How much are we to love other people ?" " And 
thy neighbor as thyself" " Now, children, if a boy 
or girl loves other people as well as himself, will he 
show it in what he does 1" "Yes sir." " Henry, go 
out of the room, and come in again as a boy should 
do, if he loved us all as well as himself. John, go 
and see if you can do it any better. Caroline, you 
may go out and come in like a good little girl." 

" Now, my children, don't forget to enter a room in 
this manner. Come in politely, and come in cheer- 
fully. Those who love God often think of him- 
15 



166 THE father's book, 

and it makes them smile to think how good he is. 
Some good people think of him a hundred times a day, 
and more ; and some think of him almost the whole 
time. Th s gives them a cheerful countenance., 
And whenever they meet the friends whom God has 
given them they feel happy. Good people then should 
be cheerful as well as polite. But some people 
think that politeness is nothing but making bows or 
courtesies, laughing, talking gaily, or paying compli- 
ments — that is, saying things which are not true, or 
which are foolish, to make others think themselves 
better, or wiser, or handsomer than they are. All this 
is wrong ; and so it is to think that a person who has 
not good manners may get them by going to a dan- 
cing school. I have known persons who could dance, 
bow, talk, &c. who had no true politeness at all. 
They had not that love to God or for other people 
from which it grows. Those who send children 
to dancing schools to learn good manners, are like a 
gardener who would expect a flower to live without a 
root. Paying compliments and making bows are not 
so much like good manners as a parrot's jabbering is 
like speech. They are a mere trial without succeed- 
ing. False manners may look like good ones at first, 
but they are counterfeits, and meant only to deceive. 
I will ask you questions about manners another 
time. Don't forget what I have said to you." 

On another occasion, the father may teach his 
child to hand Or take a thing politely, at table or 
elsewhere ; to forbear to interrupt or ridicule another, 
eveai one younger ; to treat a servant with proper kind- 
ness and regard ; to hand a chair to a friend or stran- 



GOOD MANNERS. 167 

ger ; to entertain a visitor by showing objects of in- 
terest, engaging in sensible or religious conversation, 
singing with readiness when requested, &c. &c. 
The children may be occasionally made to criticise 
each other's manners, and to express opinions on pro- 
priety in particular cases, though not with any as- 
perity or desire to procure blame. Mutual improve- 
ment must be the great object held up to them in all 
their criticisms on each other ; and it will be well 
often to comment on the happiness of a family where 
every thing is conducted on the principles of the 
Gospel. In such ways, as in many others, . the chil- 
dren may be made powerful assistants to the parents 
in all departments of family instruction and discipline. 

Examples of hospitality may be read from the 
Scriptures with great interest ; as the few first verses 
of Genesis,; xviii. and xix. ; and such passages as indi- 
cate the politeness and refinement of the patriarchs, 
prophets and apostles. Language being one impor- 
tant branch of manners, will go far to convey just 
ideas on this subject; and the mildness, aiFection 
and sweetness of St. John, as well as the warmth of 
Paul and Peter, cannot be listened to by children 
without their imbibing very correct ideas of the feel- 
ings which ought to regulate their intercourse with 
others. Above all, the example of the Saviour 
should be particularly dwelt upon. 

All violent passions should be avoided, and especial- 
ly personal conflicts between children, partly because 
they ruin good manners. 

Systematic beneficence is a branch of education not 
to be neglected. As the studies of the philosopher 



168 THE father's book. 

become in a degree uninteresting and useless without 
the experiments of the laboratory, so the most important 
lessons in sentiment and manners lose much of their 
attraction and use unless put into practice. The 
benevolence of the Gospel is preeminently active ; but 
the cold approbation of duty, and the habit of admit- 
ting obhgation without complying with it, is pointedly 
reproved as opposed to the spirit of obedience. The 
question always should be — which did the will of his 
father ; not who first understood or promised to perform 
it. The parents, being active members of some 
beneficent society, and practising charity to the poor, 
and kindness to all, as they have opportunity, will 
early initiate their little ones into the ground-works of 
the science, (if I may so express it,) by their example 
and conversation. How delightful is every step in 
such a process ! How gratifying to train our children 
not only to will, but also to do, according to the good 
pleasure of their Heavenly Father ! 

A child should early learn that its parents' minds 
are often employed in studying what will tend to 
promote the good of the poor, the ignorant and the 
vicious ; and that the task of preparation to go abroad, 
is performed for some object consistent with the solemn 
duties enjoined upon him in instruction. A mother 
should be particularly regardful of the manner in 
which her children will be struck with her motives in 
her visits abroad, as they see all the details of prepa- 
ration, and naturally regard them as important. If 
a parent would see himself in a faithful mirror, let 
him listen to the playful imitations of life and man- 
ners sometimes given by his little child — he will find 



SYSTEMATIC BENEFICENCE. 169 

his actions and words repeated, and those motives 
professed, which perhaps he has scarcely acknow- 
ledged even to himself. A simple inquiry made aloud, 
on going out, may give an useful impression : " what 
good shall I try to do ?' or " let me think — I am 
going to leave my dear children ; now what is it for? 

It is to see Mr. or Mrs. , one of the good and 

wise friends God has given me." And other ques- 
tions and remarks of a similar nature may well be 
occasionally expressed aloud on returning, to show 
that the duty and pleasure of doing good have an 
active influence on your life. 

Another useful influence to be exerted by such a 
plan, is, to lead children to an acquaintance with the 
modes of doing good, the plans and operations of useful 
associations, the details, of institutions, and the circum- 
stances of people in society. 

A little girl of three and a half,, whose father taught 
a class of young children on the Sabbath^ found a 
source of much occupation and pleasure in hearing 
the little anecdotes he brought home, as well as in 
being consulted on plans for their instruction and 
benefit, in visiting them at school, and in going 
through their exercises. She often received a lesson 
with peculiar interest because it had been, or was to 
be tried with the children ; and she sometimes would 
tell on which side of the door she would have her 
seat when she should be old enough to teach the 
poor, where she would range her pupils, and place 
her apparatus, and what she would reply or direct, 
under given circumstances, in cases of instruction or 
discipline. As a peculiar privilege she was once 
15* 



170 

informed that she might give a warm garment to one 
of those poor children in the winter ; and probably- 
enjoyed as much in anticipation as if it had been a 
promised toy or a " pretty frock." The object of her 
benevolence was one day brought before her, that 
she might realize that tattered clothes, worn out 
shoes, and sorrowful looks, were more than fancied 
things. She conferred her gift, to all appearance with 
feelings of a higher order and more worthy to endure, 
than many of those early impressions which are 
usually made upon the infantile heart. Another 
child, when about the same age, having become 
accustomed to hear much of charitable societies, asso- 
ciated the idea of a formal social meeting only with 
that of working for the poor, instruction or worship, 
closely connected all these objects with the common 
duties of life, and had already begun to cut paper 
patterns for garments for the needy. Once after 
walking about a crowded room, she turned and said — 
" Mother, I'm tired of being at the 'Siety." This 
indicated her presumption that there was no such 
thing practised as large assemblages of people without 
some object of evident use. And would it not be of 
great use to children to have such ideas implanted, 
and fostered by example ? 



CHAPTER XV. 



VARIOUS TOPICS. 



System — Honesty — Punctuality in paying debts — Independence — 
Illustration — Caution to wealthy parents — Book-keeping — Public 
offices — Servants — Terrifying children. 

It is of great importance that the father present a 
good example in regard to comfort in all his habits of 
living, foresight and regularity in providing for his 
family, cheerfulness and uniformity of temper, good 
manners, correct language, and fair principles of deal- 
ing. From such examples, however humble be the 
circumstances in which they are exhibited, the child 
will more probably imbibe corresponding habits, than 
from any other method of teaching — habits of vast 
importance in life, and of incomparably superior value 
to everything which wealth and honor can bestow. 

Let your children be sometimes present while you 
are making purchases, especially of persons of a dif- 
ferent manner of life from your own. They may 
learn more of the father's principles of dealing, from 
witnessing a bargain for a load of wood or a basket of 
eggs, than from listening to ever so many lessons on 
honesty, or reading all the books he may place in 
their hands. Some children, with too much reason, 
think their parents have one system of morals for pro- 



172 THE father's book. 

fession, and another for practice. This is ia fact 
sometimes the best construction that not only judg- 
ment but charity can put upon inconsistencies which 
pass under their eyes. 

Punctuality in paying debts : how important is this 
practice, under all considerations ! How many a 
loose principle has grown out of its neglect ; how 
many ,an honest man been disappointed and dis- 
tressed through means of it ; how many sons have 
made bad calculations, and have grown improvident, 
extravagant, and regardless of .the rights of others ; 
how many have sacrificed respectability, comfort, tb^, 
reputation if not the character of honesty ; how many 
have been ruined, who might trace it all to the bad 
example shown them in youth. A delay of payment 
beyond the time expressed or understood in the bar- 
gain, if willingly done, or through want of proper 
precaution or self-denial, when viewed aright, in- 
cludes the principle of dishonesty, and should be so 
regarded. Let there be no relaxation, no want of de- 
cision on this subject : it may be the undoing of a 
child. It is true that in some instances a bad exam- 
ple may work its own counteraction ; but this is not 
to be often expected. A man who was in possession 
of about sixty thousand dollars, which he had acquir- 
ed by industry, honesty and economy, once said, that 
he learnt to keep out of debt by witnessing the mis- 
eries to which his father reduced himself by "want of 
punctuality in paying ; and to this resolution he at- 
tributed his success in Hfe. 



HONEST INDEPENDENCE. 173 

Jl love of honest' independence, is a quality which no 
child can be safely deprived of. It will act in many 
ways in which none but a close observer will be 
likely to detect it. It will influence one favorably in 
the selection of companions, in fixing habits of inde- 
pendent thought, of industry and economy ; it will 
habituate him to entertain correct views of things, ac- 
cording to their comparative importance ; and, in 
whatever circumstances he is placed, will lay the 
foundations of comfort, respectability and happiness, 
for himself and his family. The consistent conduct 
of a man who lives on this principle, is of real value 
in society. He should be respected for it, and made 
an object of particular regard to our children. 

How easy it would be for any of us sometimes to 
give the following direction to conversation in our 
families. — We may suppose that little John gives us 
an opportunity to introduce, by saying : 

" Father, I never saw so coarse a coat as Mr. 
Wheatfield had on to-day." 

" Well, my son, it is a very warm one ; I saw it 
myself. What did you think about when you saw it 1" 

" Why, father, Henry laughed at him for it. I 
didn't laugh, sir, because you tell me never to laugh 
at people ; but I thought it was a very strange look- 
ing one." 

" Well, my son, it is a httle strange ; but . Mr. 
Wheatfield has a very good reason for wearing it. 
I'll tell you something now that is worth hearing. 
Listen. There is a man who works very hard every 
day on a farm, and brings potatoes and many other 
things to sell to get money to pay for clothes, food. 



174 THE father's book. 

books, &c. for his children. He sometimes can hard- 
ly get money enough to pay for what he wants, but 
he never will get any thing unless he can pay for it : 
for he says that he would rather get along with a little, 
if it is his own, than use what does not belong to him. 
He says nothing belongs to him till he has paid for it. 
For fear that he should not be able to lay up a little 
money every year to be prepared against sickness or 
death, or that he should not have it in in his power to pay 
for something necessary, he generally wears clothes 
which cost but Uttle. That man is Mr. Wheatfield ; 
and this is the reason why he had that coarse coat on 
to-day. Now tell me, which is more respectable, a 
person who does all this with these feelings, or one 
who wears a fine coat which he has not paid for, and 
has taken no pains to pay for 1 Which would you 
rather be like r 

The habitual exercise of sound judgment and good 
common sense, with independence, especially where 
moral considerations are concerned, is a most impor- 
tant thing. Let the father show its practical value, 
as occasions present themselves ; and let him often think 
aloud, on particular subjects, to accustom his children 
to the process : as, if he have promised to meet a per- 
son, and is told that he may excuse himself for failingto 
do so : he can say — " He thinks I promised it ; if I do 
not perform it, he will think I have broken my word. 
Besides, he may have put himself to much inconveni- 
ence to meet me — now what ought I to do? Why, 
certainly, I must do as I said." 

Expectations of inheriting wealth, have proved ruin- 
ous to not a few children, and of lasting injury to 



BOOK-KEEPING. 176 

many. It is generally more difficult to train the! 
children of wealthy parents to habits of humility, 
study, economy and industry, than those of the poor^ 
The utmost care must he used to inculcate just views 
of property. But how can this be done by the father, 
if he keeps up the pursuit of money like an endless 
fox chase, and every day is as much excited as a 
hound at the view-holloa 1 

Moderation in the estimate, use and pursuit of 
wealth, a humble and cheerful submission to every 
loss, an habitual preparation for those changes of 
fortune to which all are liable in our country, and of 
which we have so many examples, occasional remarks 
to and before one's children on its uncertainty, its 
insuiSciency to confer happiness, its immeasurable 
inferiority to the enjoyments of good books, friends. 
Christian society, and above all, communion with 
God and the enjoyments of heaven : — by these means, 
far more than by any course of instruction, command, 
or harsh measures, the child may be guarded against 
those lamentable, those ruinous effects, which too 
often flow from an early education among wealth, 
pride, ignorance, and indolence. I would place in 
their true contrast before the eyes of the young, the 
superior value of those virtues we often find in humble 
life, where the widow and fatherless are not denied 
the richest blessings of a Christian and enlightened 
society. 

Book-keeping. Childrenshould be early instructed in 
keeping accounts, as one means for rendering them 
economical and prosperous in life. The principles of 



176 THE father's book. 

this art are so reasonable, and the results of its practice 
so satisfactory, that while it renders one methodical, it 
may contribute to his amusement. A boy or girl should 
have a certain sum of money to spend by the week, 
month, or year, according to the age, if the parent 
be able to appropriate it, or else should have some 
branch of care or labor by which property would be 
produced : and in all the disposal of it should be re- 
quired to keep an accurate account. Whatever the 
child has, he should be taught to regard a portion of 
it as regularly and unreservedly due to some benevo- 
lent object ; and in giving charity a child should 
always have to practise some self-denial. He should 
give of his own, and thus deprive himself of some- 
thing. It should not be merely his father giving 
through his hands, for it will not be his own gift. 

The keeping of an account of expenses and receipts 
will afford many opportunities for questions and sug- 
gestions on the proper use of money, the tendency of 
industry, foresight, economy, &c. &c. ; the way to 
avoid poverty, the real value of property, its abuses, 
and many other subjects, in wliich children should 
be well initiated, to save them from pride and ex- 
travagance on the one side, and from indolence, care- 
lessness and dishonesty on the other. 

Public Offices. The good parent will feel pecu- 
liarly solicitous to guard his sons against that petty 
ambition for distinction, which public offices excite in 
some men. He will wish by all means to guard 
against consequences so fatal to peace and to cha- 
racter, as those which have often followed the indul- 



PUBLIC OFFICES. 177 

gence of this passion. As offices are open to persons 
of all classes in our country, it should be regarded as 
a general duty to prepare the young to exercise dis- 
crimination, and to prefer good men, and at the same 
time to be ever on their guard against the fascinations 
by which the5^may be tempted. 

The father may occupy a pubHc office ; in that 
case he will need to take peculiar care, in order to show 
his children with what disinterestedness, virtue and 
humility an important trust may be executed. If he 
possess the stern integrity without which he has 
no business with public affairs, the display of it 
to his children will give the impression of a faithful 
magistrate, and tend to render them good citizens. 
The seeking of office for any selfish end should never 
be approved : the public interests should be spoken of 
as of great and solemn import, and vastly trans- 
cending any private concern. The character of a 
good magistrate should be dwelt upon, and honored : 
while the paltry and corrupt politician and office-seek- 
er, should be held up in contrast, Avith contempt and 
detestation. The character and life of Washington 
should be familiar with every child, particularly every 
boy, in the United States. They should be taught 
to recount the story of his receiving the appointment 
of General in Chief from the Congress at Philadelphia 
without solicitation, and his declaring that he did not 
think himself worthy of so great a trust. They 
should also be able to narrate an account of 
his prevailing on the army at Newburgh to disband 
at the close of the war without their pay, and his 

resignation of his commission. In all these deeds he 
16 



J 78 THE father's book. 

should be praised as a real hero, and should be placed 
in contrast with bloody conquerors on the one 
hand, and on the other with the false-hearted, selfish 
deceivers of their countrymen, who will even . use 
language like his without a single , one of his noble 
and patriotic feelings. How rich an opportunity 
may the father here find, to show how the purest 
patriotism flows from the spirit- of Christianity ; and 
how glorious is that religion which, with one simple 
doctrine, that of pure love to God and men, would 
lead us to our own happiness in this world and the 
next, and make us the best friends of each other. 

Servants. One most fertile source of injury to 
children is found in servants. I was . going to say 
bad servants : but much harm is done in education 
by ignorant, careless, superstitious, ill-educated ser- 
vants, who are not vicious, but often well disposed 
and even conscientious. We find the ill effects of the 
influence of servants chiefly among the rich : To such 
a degree, indeed, that I doubt not many a parent has 
desired that his children might if possible be educated 
where there are none. Intercourse with servants in 
early life often forms bad habits in manners and con- 
versation, and, what is of far greater importance, in 
modes of thinking, reasoning, feeling and acting, 
which long continue, often even through life. The 
indolence and dissipation generally attendant on 
wealth, cannot be viewed in a more painful light, than 
with respect to their influence upon children, whom 
they greatly deprive of the society of their parents, 
and often render that society, while they have it, in 
some respects useless if not positively injurious. The 



SERVANTS. . 179 

interesting dairies of the parent, to whom the child has 
bsen solemnly entrusted, for high and important 
objects, are turned over to a servant, often unknown, 
hastily^ confided in, and permitted to transfer to the 
minds and hearts of the neglected offspring the habits 
and sentiments of some of. the most degraded, and 
too often vicious states of society — I had almost said 
in" the world. Now can a feeling parent, not to say a 
pious father or mother, submit to such things'? Ah, 
whoever asks such a question knows but little of the 
influence of fashion and vanity, or the force of the cur- 
rents of society when they have once been yielded to. 
If parents in humble life could realize the blessing 
of being free from expostires of this kind, they would 
find room for much gratitude. Whatever some may 
think, liowever wide may appear to them the distance 
between, a master or mistress and a servant, I jMay 
cliallenge any fair, experienced observer to say, whe- 
ther it would not be better for children, to be entirely 
shut up from intercourse with such domestics as 
those with whom some of theiri are brought into 
contact. There are still many families in different 
parts of the country, in which there are no servants. 
Indeed there are whole communities and districts, in 
which their place is supplied by members of the family, 
or neighbors of known character, without any appre- 
hension of degradation. Happj'^ for children is the 
state of society where no house and no apartment of 
it is invaded by a single, offspring of degradation, 
intellectual or moral; where all are dependant on a 
good personal character for influence and importance ; 
where the high respect the opinion of the low, and 



180 THE father's book. 

the low feel that no artificial or impassable barrier 
separates the classes of society. 

It is a simple fact, that many of the greatest men 
our country has produced were educated in a society 
of this kind ; and several considerations combine to 
show us its advantages. While on the one hand the 
character of domestic servants has extensively depre- 
ciated in our cities, in some of our country towns a 
scarcity has been caused by the opportunity afforded 
by manufactories to pursue a course of life less irksome 
to the feelings. If we would have good domestics, 
we must not degrade them too low. Happy those 
famiUes where any progress has been made to raise 
the character of domestic labor. To those in whom 
this subject has not attracted attention, I may propose 
to reflect seriously upon it, at least, for the sake of 
their children. Servants feel as you would feel in 
similar circumstances, and may be induced to serve 
with gratitude and esteem. A little kindly intercourse 
may do more to secure faithful labor and care than 
any amount of harshness or fault-finding. 

One of the most friendly ofiices that can be done 
for servants, is to give them the means of making 
daily improvement in useful knowledge ; and every 
point gained in elevating the lowest grade of any 
community is an advantage to all who belong to it. 
The more intelUgence, virtue and attachment we can 
collect around our children, the better ; and those who 
can delegate their duties, when it is necessary, to 
trusty hands, may consider themselves happy. A 
servant who possesses these quaUties should be highly 
valued, and treated with respect and gratitude. 



SERVANTS. 181 

When such relations begin to subsist between a 
master and a domestic, the distance between them 
begins to be lessened, and a tendency towards that 
identity of interests which alone can make a family 
one. 

There are many families in which entire confidence 
cannot be placed in the characters or intelligence of 
the domestics ; and then an improper famiharity is by 
no means recommended : but they should always be 
treated with kindness, should be provided with all 
necessaries, offered useful opportunities and means of 
instruction, particularly in religion ; permitted, or 
rather required to attend family worship ; allowed to 
go to church at least once on every Sabbath, and saved 
all except necessary labor on that day. The following 
general rules for the treatment of domestics may also 
be recommended : 

1. Have the work of each distinctly understood. 

2. Occasionally perform some of their duties in 
their presence, in such a manner as to show that the 
task is not regarded by you as degrading. 

3. Never be passionate, nor use the tone of com- 
mand ; and never permit them to use disrespectful 
language. Avoid giving them any unnecessary ir- 
ritation ; and reason with them kindly against any 
bad habit you may perceive in them. 

4. Permit no ardent. spirit to be brought into the 
house. 

5. Let them see that you know what property is 
left in their way, and that you would probably dis- 
cover if any thing were gone. Never leave money, 
jewels, or other small and valuable articles, in 

16* 



182 THE father's book. 

their way. You might thus tempt an honest person 
to commit a crime. By unjustifiable carelessness on 
such subjects, also, many an unjust suspicion has 
been harbored, and perhaps procured many a hasty ex- 
pulsion of an innocent domestic without a recommen- 
dation, and with a risk of ruin. 

" I have lost some money," said a person in much 
agitation, one day, " and you," (speaking to a domes- 
tic,) " must have taken it — give it up then at once !" 
The girl appeared thunderstruck ; but protested her 
innocence. Her whole appearance was attributed to 
guilt, and measures were proposed for securing her 
at least until the money might be recovered ; when a 
closer inspection by the loser discovered the money 
where it had been deposited. To beg pardon, or even 
weep at the injury, is very easy : but every body has 
not consideration and system enough, to guard against 
such exposures by keeping every temptation out of 
the way of domestics. 

Children also should be taught to treat domestics with 
kindness, and never be allowed to command them to 
perform a piece of service. Our own manner of 
speaking to a domestic, will be the best mode of 
teaching our children in this respect. . It will be well 
also to explain to them their obligations to treat not 
only domestics, but every person in a different rank 
in life from themselves, with courtesy. Many works 
wpon education, and the domestic relation, of English 
origin, contain directions with regard to servants not 
applicable to the state of things in this country. 

Terrifying children. This is sometimes practised by 
domestics and others, either to secure obedience, or as 



FRIGHTENING CHILDREN. 183 

a punishment, or perhaps from a mere love of sport. 
Parents should be warned againsti permitting their 
children's fears to be excited by any influence of the 
imagination. I have taken the pains to get the ibl- 
lowing statement from a person who may be depend- 
ed on for accuracy. • 

"I was fond of reading at the age of five, and ma- 
ny years after ; but I have often thought that I should 
have been much more useful and happy through the 
early part of my life, if the opposite had been the fact. 
One of my first books was " Bluebeard ;" and the 
very name brings back the leading scenes of that 
frightful story, with the- sufferings they caused me by 
long. acting upon my fears, though I have not read 
it, I believe, in thirty years. My parents thought my 
unwillingness to go to bed alone was owing to some 
whim, or proceeded merely from a childish desire to 
stay up longer ; but by compelling me to it they 
made me undergo indescribable distress. I do not 
believe that a man would undergo greater terrors if 
imprisoned an equal time in the Inquisition, with the 
expectation of being every moment put to death by 
torture, than T often endured at that time. I remem- 
ber the place where I lay, the horror with which I 
looked at a closet near me and fancied it the "Blue 
Chamber," the agitation caused by every sound, and 
the total extinguishment of every joy and every hope, 
as I lay in my nightly tremor, enduring . sufferings 
which I could not describe for want of knowledge and 
of language. As this trial recurred every evening, and 
my daily thoughts often anticipated its return with a 
shudder, I doubt not that my nerves were greatly 
shocked." 



184 THE father's book. 

" The reading of highly wrought fictions in subse- 
quent years, was also injurious to me by exciting ter- 
ror, as well as other feelings little if at all less impro- 
per. Frightful scenes in Fairy Tales, the Arabian 
Nights, some of the old novels, and other books, often 
agitated my feelings for a long time ; and I have 
still reason to regret the associations which frequently 
bring them to my memory." 

No doubt many other persons might confirm these 
opinions, as well as testify to the danger of permit- 
ting the fears of children to be excited by others. 
The evil which we have most to apprehend from the 
intercourse between our children and domestics, after 
bad principles and immoral practices, perhaps is that 
they will be frightened, about imaginary beings. Ma- 
ny of the ignorant, even those who are virtuous, have 
some superstition concerning spirits ; and many find 
it easy to make children do as they please by exciting 
their fears, as an ignorant or indolent schoolmaster 
resorts to emulation or blows, because they cost 
him less than systematic management and wise in- 
structions. An excellent mother once told her little 
son that a man servant of whom he had seemed ex- 
travagantly fond, had been dismissed. This he at 
first heard without emotion, and appeared scarcely 
to believe it ; but when lie had satisfied himself that 
he was never to return, he expressed the utmost 
pleasure. He then informed his mother that he had 
long practised a course of deception towards her, for 
the servant had terrified him with stories of a spirit, 
which he said would kill him if he did not obey his 
comnM^ndSj and thus compelled him to do whatever he 



FRIGHTENING CHILDREN. 186 

wished. It was long before the child's mind recov- 
ered from the influence of this state of terror. 

During the absence of the heads of a family from 
home, some years since, a servant undertook to fright- 
en a younger domestic who was addicted to falsehood, 
thinking it would correct her bad propensity. She 
therefore appeared in the evening, in a terrific dis- 
guise, in the midst of the children while at their 
sports ; but instead of effecting any good, she well 
nigh destroyed the reason of one of the children, who 
was unable, for some time afterwards, ever to go into 
a dark room alone, so strongly was the scene impres- 
sed upon his mind, and so much had terror afiected 
his nerves. He was before as bold as boys common- 
ly are ; but this fright for a time entirely changed his 
character. The horror he sometimes exhibited made 
him an object of compassion to his friends, who felt, 
what was probably true, that little more would have 
been necessary to unsettle his mind for life. 



CHAPTER XVI. 



SCHOOLS. . 

Their importance to the peace arid good order of the neighborhood 
and society — Sending children to public schools — A father's duty 
towards them — General principles to. be observed in estaJDlishing 
and conducting schools — Branches to *be taught, and principles of 
teaching — Ornamental branches — Modes of government and in-f 
struction — Means of exciting interest in schools — Lyceums- 
Conclusion. 

Every intelligent parent must ,be sensible that his 
own personal- interest, and the good of his children, 
are closely connected with the flourishing condition of 
schools around him. They are nurseries of good.'- 
order and public morals, and have- a favorable influ- 
ence on every thing valuable in society. Children 
are necessarily • aflected by the habits, manners • 
and opinions of those around them ; and after the 
few first years it; is impossible to confine them entirely 
to the family circle. The more exalted and pure the 
tone of society is, then, the more favorable will it be 
to our children, and to our exertions for .their benefit. 
It has been remarked, that if all parents were as wise 
and good as they 'should be, schools would not be 
needed : while however they are generally so far from 
being good inst|*uctors of their children, schools must 
continue to be institutions of prime necessity. On 



SCHOOLS. 187 

this subject no parent can remain indifferent without 
neglecting what is of great . importance to himself and 
his family, as well as to the community arouiid him. 
• But schools, that they may do much good, must 
be well managed ; and this they cannot be by vicious 
or incompetent teachers. One of the poorest pieces 
of economy practised in our country, but one of the 
most common, is the payment of insufficient wages 
to tesachers. It prevents them from devoting proper 
attention to their business", and from remaining in the 
profession longer than they are compellcii to do so. 
It discourages persons of education and talents, from 
becoming instructors, and causes frequent changes 
of systems and books, as well as of teachers. A bad 
plan of instruction, or improper treatment, often dis- 
gusts children with learning, discourages them, or 
excites bad passions ; and the evil consequences niiay 
long be felt. The manners and opinions of a whole 
school may be unfavorably affected by similar causes ; 
and we might as well e.xpect to. plunge our children 
in a filthy strearri without defiling them, as to have 
them mingle with a corrupt or debased society with- 
out infection. 

But the intelligent father will not make his ow» 
interest or that of his family the only standard in such 
a case. A good parent is almost of course a sound 
and enlightened patriot, and will think it no gratuity 
to the country to wjiich he owes many blessings, if he 
bestows tiine, labor or money, for the support of 
schools — institutions on which must rest one of the 
corner stones of the land he inhabits. On this, as on 
other important subjects, great independence of mind 



188 THE father's book. 

may be necessary, to enable one to act with efficiency 
and perseverance. But whatever be the common 
opinions or fashions in relation to it, the father must 
be guided by his own perception of the nature of the 
object, and determine to do his part for the support 
of institutions so indispensable. Indeed, the greater 
the public indifference, the greater will be the need of 
his exertions, his early devotion to the object, and his 
persevering prosecution of it. 

The question will arise to many parents, whether 
they shall or shall not send their children to the com- 
mon schools. While there may be objections to this 
course in some cases, it may be questioned whether 
the withdrawing of children from those institu- 
tions, will not be attended with evils yet greater and 
more seriousl}^ to be deprecated. In some parts of 
the country, most happily, where the people are pecu- 
liarly intelHgent and moral, all parents freely allow 
their children to intermingle at school ; and the bene- 
fits are very perceptible : for feelings of equality and 
harmony are cultivated, and the manners of one por- 
tion are not injurious to those of another ; while the 
interest and influence of society are concentrated, in- 
stead of being divided between rival institutions. Still, 
the parent must not hazard the perversion of his chil- 
dren's instructions and character. 

It will be important to a father to bear in mind a 
few practical truths, when called to act in favor of 
public instruction. 

1. However defective a school may be, a good 
teacher may soon make it equal to almost any in the 
world. 



SCHOOLS. 189 

2. If proper means be used for the improvement of 
schools, and with success, it may be expected that those 
parents who are most interested will perceive and ac- 
knowledge the benefit. 

3. Even if a person does not obtain all the success 
he desires, or finds his labors underrated or opposed, 
he is doing- good at least to the young, who derive per- 
manent, though unacknowledged, advantage from his 
labors. 

I may^throw in briefly here a few general princi- 
ples in relation to schools, which may serve as con- 
venient hints to some persons who have not had 
much experience in different systems, and may have 
opportunities to improve those around them. We 
may first speak of Branches of knowledge to be 
taught ; secondly. Modes of teaching, and discipline ; 
and thirdly, Means of exciting interest in schools. 

I. Branches of Knowledge. 

Make sure of the most important first : then, if 
you have the means and opportunity, take the next 
most valuable, &c. I would have a school always 
opened with reading a chapter in the Bible, and a 
short prayer, or singing a hymn. A few simple 
questions on familiar moral duties should then be 
asked : such as — " How should we treat our parents — 
brothers and sisters — teachers — neighbors 1 What is 
honesty? — of what use is it? Of \that use are 
schools ?" &c. &c. Religion and morality, the most 
important branches, would thus be acknowledged as 
such, and, in a degree, taught in school ; but as they 
17 



190 THE father's book. 

must be presumed to be taught at home, at church, 
and at Sabbath School, they should not occupy much 
of the time at a common school. 

So far as "going up" in classes is practised, let the 
" circulating system" be used : that is, draw up the 
class nearly in a circle, and when a child has reached 
the head by correct answers, let him be asked any 
question missed by the one at the foot, and change 
places with him if he answers it. This will prevent 
injurious emulation, and encourage the ignorant, 
young and diffident. 

Avoid bad tones in reading ; read moderately loud, 
and as if talking. Writing is best taught to children 
of three, four and five, in sand — afterwards on slates, 
with an hour or two in a week on paper, the copies 
being at first painted large on the walls or boards. 
(This system renders the writing in the New York 
public schools excellent.) Anthmetic should be at 
first familiarly taught with tangible objects, and af- 
terwards calculations should be often made without 
writing the figures, that is, by- mental arithmetic. 
English Grammar and the principles of the language 
may go far to supply the place of foreign languages: 
Geography may be entered upon by telling the boun- 
daries of a neighboring field, (or the room,) then of 
another, next of the town, county, &c. The form 
of the ground should be spoken of, the ponds or 
streams, the trees or crops, climate, animals, stones, 
dwellings, inhfibitants, agriculture, roads, arts, manu- 
factures, &c. Even the laws, history, customs and 
manners, may be familiarly conversed on : and if an 
hour or more in a week be devoted to such a system 



SCHOOLS. 191 

of teaching geography to the whole school, (as is 
sometimes done,) the interest in the lesson will be 
general. Having learnt the names of different forms 
of land and water, natural and civil divisions, &c. 
immediately around them, the children will have 
a solid foundation on which to build their future ac- 
quisitions in these important subjects, far more dis- 
tinct and jusr than if they began with foreign regions 
and objeris, or the world's great divisions ; and their 
subsequent, iuiprovement will probably be much more 
real and lasting. Large maps, correct enough to be 
very useful, may be drawn upon the wall, if it should 
be found too expensive to procure better; and the 
exercise of copying these, even on slates, will be 
highly improving. 

Astronomy, an ennobling science, can be sufficiently 
taught without much interfering with the, preceding 
more practical branches. Only the names, appear- 
ances, distances, order, motions, and sizes of the prin- 
cipal planets, need be taught in a common school, 
and this is soon done, especially with the aid of an 
orrery. Most other parts of astronomy, after the 
general illustrations of day and night, eclipses, &c., 
may be dispensed with. The mind will not long 
retain the vast sizes and distances, orbits, periods, 
&c. and this must not be expected. 

Apparatus may be purchased for ten, fifteen or 
more dollars, according to size, &c. which will prove 
of great use in aiding and shortening study, and 
making schools attractive. Money can hardly be 
better laid out ; and a liberal man should take plea- 



192 THE father's book. 

sure in making such cheap but valuable presents to 
public schools. 

As for ornamental branches, there is nothing which I 
would recommend, in any department of education, 
which I would degrade with such a name. Education 
should be useful from beginning to end. Usefulness 
should be the measure, the standard, at every step 
and on every subject. I would have the decision in 
every case made by a competent judge ; for it is 
often impossible for a person ignorant of any particu- 
lar branch of knowledge to form a correct idea of its 
value. I confess, however, that close observers, and 
persons of good common sense, can often discriminate 
very justly, when they have had opportunities to see 
the tendency of such things in actual life. Dancing, 
drawing and music, are of doubtful utility, as they 
are frequently taught. 

2. Modes of Instruction and Government. 
Such in general are to be pursued as treat children 
like moral and rational beings, and are founded on 
principles applicable to human nature. Force will 
never introduce an unintelligible idea into the under- 
standing, though some harsh instructors seem to re- 
gard it as an effectual instrument. Who has not 
seen the rod applied, threats, frowns, ridicule and what 
not, to make a child comprehend what was so presented 
to him that he could not understand it. Who that 
has ever been so treated, does not know, that the ef- 
fects produced were quite the opposite to .those aimed 
at. 

A great secret lies in making a judicious division 



SCHOOLS. 19[3 

of time in schools, and in establishing a proper succes- 
sion of exercises. The least laborious studies should 
generally come last, in warrri weather. No study 
should be prolonged beyond the time when it neces- 
sarily begins to lose its interest to the mind of a youth. 

The daily practice of vocal music for five or ten 
minutes will powerfully aid discipline and instruction. 

Manners, so extensively neglected in these days, 
should be carefully inculcated by habit and example. 
They form a safe outer enclosure to the character. 

It is a good rule to keep the feelings of children in 
a placid, undisturbed state. Almost every kind of ex- 
citement is unfavorable to study, as well as to moral 
training. It is followed by languor, and often in the 
end less real progress is made in a day or a week 
than would have been made without it. There are 
some kinds of excitement however much more delete- 
rious than others. Emulation — rivalry in studies, is 
a' most dangerous motive to present to a child. It 
fosters selfish and bad passions, which will necessari- 
ly render himself and others unhappy. It is better to 
have a child make but little progress in learning for a 
year or more, than to be stimulated through many 
books by this principle. He might waste time in the 
former case : but in the latter he would be forming moral 
habits incompatible with the character of a good or a 
happy man — habits which must at all events be root- 
ed out before he could become a consistent Christian, 
or act disinterestedly in any thing. Children should 
have knowledge presented to them in an agreeable 
form, dressed in its own native attractions, and in intelli- 
gible language. The application of what they are 
17* 



194 THE father's book. 

taught to some useful purpose in life should be occa- 
sionally shown ; and thus they should pursue their 
studies under the laudable and harmless impulses of 
duty to God, their parents and the world, and the 
reUsh of learning. Affectionate manners, with the 
mild but firm exercise of authority, and a warm inter- 
est in each personally, will do more in a month to 
make a school flourish, than threats, frowns, com- 
plaints and punishments, can effect in a year. 

It is a great principle in teaching, to seize favora- 
ble opportunities, and on proper occasions to yield to 
circumstances. When children are fresh in the morn- 
ing, good humored and prepared for study, set them 
promptly at their most difficult tasks ; but then, as 
always, give them what they can accomplish. When 
they show symptoms of weariness or listlessness, give 
them exercise, change their attitudes or studies, or 
let them lay aside their books and listen to an inter- 
esting address. 

The best instrument of discipline in the world, is the 
frequent sight and society of a well regulated family. 
And the want of this advantage in early life, nothing 
can fully supply : on the contrary, the highest exter- 
nal advantages, without its influence, often prove 
unavailing. With these views the establishment of 
a good family system in many of its details, but es- 
pecially in its great principles, is presented as a pro- 
minent, a fundamental object, in this book. 

Providence has made many wise provisions in the 
family, that out of this his universal institution may 
be made to grow the most perfect system of govern- 
ment, and instruction. A good family is a nursery. 



SCHOOLS. 195 

as well as a model, for a State, no less than for a school. 
Experienced teachers often prefer first to initiate a 
few pupils into their systems, and then to increase 
the number by degrees, that they may ever keep the 
mass of influence in their favor. An unruly class may 
be most effectually prevented from inj uring a school, 
by dividing its members among oiher classes. The 
members of a family are one by one introduced into 
the domestic circle, that they may singly receive its in- 
fluences, write a transcript of the general character 
upon their own hearts, and amalgamate with the rest 
before a successor appears. 

Let this principle of sympathy be applied as cir- 
cumstances may render it convenient. An untutor- 
ed and almost outcast boy, was once brought into a 
school from the street of a city, for the first time. 
After standing a few minutes and surveying a num- 
ber of happy, silent and obedient children at their tasks, 
he seemed to lose his wild looks and disposition for the 
time, and to become like one of them. Children should 
generally be so placed in school as not to face each other, 
unless they be too distant to convey their roguish 
feelings by looks and gestures. When, however, any 
pleasing exercise is to be engaged in, and the kindly 
feelings are likely to be excited, they may face each 
other with advantage. They should be kept under 
the eye of a teacher, if possible, during their sports, 
and precautions should be taken to prevent too violent 
games, and any improper language. Those who 
would set bad examples should be separated from 
the rest, and denied some common favor until they 



196 THE father's book. 

improve. The influence of bad examples is to be 
most cautiously prevented. 

3. Means of exciting interest in Schools. 

While the public, and even the intelligent and in- 
fluential, remain as indifferent as they now generally 
are in our country to the condition of common edu- 
cation, little improvement can be looked for in our 
schools. The time is probably fast hastening, . when 
this highly important subject will receive a portion 
of that attention which it merits, and . be placed be- 
side some others which are quite in advance of it in 
public favor. In the mean time, however, it is the 
more necessary for such persons as realize anything 
of their duty, to make prompt and persevering exer- 
tions, at least in their own districts. A little union, 
a little combination in favor of common education, 
may effect something useful anywhere. In some 
places it has done much. Perhaps no plan has been 
devised, better calculated for the object of diffusing 
knowledge rapidly, thoroughly, and economically, 
than by Lyceums. This word, as now understood, 
embraces every kind of voluntary associations for this 
purpose : whether library companies, debating socie- 
ties, periodical meetings of teachers or other friends 
of knowledge, societies for providing public lectures, 
&c. Of course they are apphcable, under some 
form or other, to every community in our country; 
and, by correspondence with each other, may in- 
definitely extend their spheres and their benefits. 

Every individual may find. some means of increas- 
ing the interest in schools. A few dollars will supply 
a valuable apparatus, a few words will encourage a 



CONCLUSION, 197 

teacher, an occasional visit will gratify the children ; 
and the more influence a man has, the more careful 
he should be to throw it into the useful scale, A 
public man should blush to be thought indifferent to 
so fundamental an interest of the commonwealth. 
Editors should devote a portion of their columns to it. 
Parents should lay deep the foundations of a love 
for knowledge and its institutions in their families. 



Conclusion. 
At the close of this volume, the author would once 
more remark, that he has not attempted to embrace 
all the branches of his fertile subject, nor even all 
those which are of truly great importance. He has 
chiefly endeavored to present with truth and distinctness 
some of those which he considered of fundamental 
consequence, and most liable to be misunderstood. 
Though he cannot hope to effect that general and 
thorough change in education which he thinks ne- 
cessary to the good of the country, and indeed to our 
existence as a free, intelligent and virtuous nation, 
he desires that through the suggestions he here pre- 
sents, at least some few parents may be led to adopt 
sound principles in training their children, that some 
firesides may feel their happy influence, that some 
family circles may enjoy the harmony, peace, purity 
and exaltation which they are calculated to confer, 
and that the next generation may in consequence be 
enriched with at least a few more healthful frames, 
sound minds, laborious hands, virtuous, warm philan- 



198 THE father's book. 

thropic and Christian characters. To such principles 
our country owes the pure, and simple, but exalted 
state of society established by our ancestors, in which 
our free institutions had their birth ; and without 
them we shall become incapable of enjoying, unwor- 
thy and unable to retain them. By a proper regard 
for these principles, with a just estimate of the pecu- 
liar, the superior advantages for bringing them into 
general practice which are afforded by our situation 
and s(:ate of society, any father in this land, may con- 
fer on his children blessings innumerable and incal- 
culable ; while such as possess extensive influence, 
by cooperation and perseverance, might bestow on 
their country a worth and a character which would 
render it the admiration of mankind. No rubies or 
diamonds in the richest mines are susceptible of a 
polish to be compared with that which a pure, virtu- 
ous and Christian education can confer upon the hu- 
man character ; and all earthly possessions and ob- 
jects of enjoyment we should liabitually regard as of 
contemptible importance when contrasted with the 
value of the soul. 

And now, in concluding this volume, let me say to 
the father who may have followed me through its 
pages, that its design of making him hetter qualified 
properly to discharge the duties of the interesting 
relation he sustains, v^ill not be answered, unless he 
gives the suggestions contained iii it serious conside- 
ration. Have you sufficiently realized, that the char- 
acter of your children is to be formed, almost entirely, 
with the blessing of God, by the training you shall 
give them 1 Have you seriously reflected upon the 



CONCLUSION. 199 

best means of influencing them, so as to give a right 
direction to their views and feelings 1 You doubtless 
love your children. You wish to have them virtuous, 
intelligent, respected and happy. As you look upon 
the little band around you, you feel a strong anxiety 
concerning their future destiny. Especially are you 
desirous, that the characters they are forming shall be 
such as to fit them for the pure and holy enjoyments 
of a better world. Seek, then, the blessing of Him 
who has given your children to you, and who can 
best aid you in training them for Himself. And 
forget not, what has already been urged upon you, 
that your own conduct will teach more effectually 
than any other means you can adopt, and that, if you 
would see ypur children " walking in the truth," and 
preparing for Heaven, you must, by your own 
example, 

" Allure to brighter worlds, and lead the way." 




f ■ . Erratum. 

Page 21j 5th line from bottom, for entering, read erecting. 



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